Tag Archive for: Courage

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Loving Those Who Hurt You

As Jesus followers, we talk a lot about love. We talk about loving our neighbors, as well as our enemies. We talk about including strangers, as well as people with whom we disagree. We do a lot of talking, but when do we put love into action?

Every day you meet people with different experiences from your own. Who has helped you put your love into action? Who has taught and modeled for you the love that makes a difference in you, your family, your community and the world?

It is my hope that the following will help assist you in becoming more the person God created you to be, which means becoming a more loving person toward those who have hurt you.

Read Matthew 7:43-44

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…”

Reflect on Matthew 7:43-44

In 1960, I started first grade in an elementary school in a small town in West Virginia. Every day, I walked up the sidewalk to the school with other children. I talked and laughed with friends as I made my way into the building. I was welcomed, by a smiling teacher, into a classroom full of children. I was just a kid starting my educational journey with no care or concern for what was going on in the world.

That very same year, a little girl by the name of Ruby started first grade in an elementary school in New Orleans. Every day, as she walked up the sidewalk to the school, she was escorted by federal marshals. She was not welcomed by smiles. The sidewalk was lined with adults shouting threats at her, calling her names, and screaming for her to go home. Enraged parents pulled their children from the school. Due to the chaos, Ruby spent her first day of school in the principal’s office, not because she had done anything wrong, but for her protection. She was just a kid starting her educational journey which would change her city, her state, her country, and the world.

My teacher was my neighbor. I could stand in my backyard and see her house. Ruby’s teacher came to New Orleans from Boston. She was the only teacher willing to accept Ruby. I was in a classroom full of children just like me, Ruby spent her first year in a classroom by herself. Every day, I played on the playground at recess, and I ate lunch in the cafeteria with my friends. Every day, at recess, Ruby played in her classroom and ate lunch in the same classroom with her teacher. Neither Ruby nor I missed a day in our first-grade year of school. But as you can see, our experiences were worlds apart.

Ruby Bridges and I were six-years old. But Ruby at 6 years old learned and lived something that has taken many years for me to learn and all my 71 years to live.

Robert Coles, a noted author, and Harvard psychiatrist volunteered his time to work with Ruby that first year. Every day he would talk with her and offer her assistance to cope with the crisis. One morning, on the news, he noticed Ruby walking up the sidewalk while people screamed at her and threw things at her. In the midst of the turmoil, Ruby suddenly stopped and said something before walking on up the sidewalk. Then the marshals picked her up and took her into the building.

When they met later that evening, Coles asked her what she said to the marshals. She said, “I was not talking to the marshals.”

He said, “I saw you on the news. I saw your lips moving.”

She said, “I was not talking to the marshals.”

He said, “Well, what were you doing?”

She said, “I was praying for those people who were hollering at me. I had forgotten to pray, and I was trying to go back and pray for them as I walked to the school building.”

Coles shook his head and said, “You were praying for the people who were screaming at you?”

She said, “Yes, my mama taught me that when people speak mean of you, you pray for them just like Jesus prayed for the people who spoke mean of him.” Then she said, “You see, when Jesus lives in your heart, you just can’t hate anybody.”

Through her mother, Ruby learned to love and pray for the people who were mean to her. She had learned that when Jesus lives in your heart, you just can’t hate anybody. *

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

Respond

O God, come and live in my heart so I can love the people who have hurt me, who disagree with me, and who wish to do me harm. Fill me with your love so that my heart is big enough to include each person you send my way. Help me to be aware of your presence so that everyone I encounter will meet you in me. I offer myself to you in the name of Jesus. Amen

Return

Give God thanks for the day. Who did you love and pray for today? Who taught you to love your enemies and to pray for the people who hurt you? Give God thanks for the people who have helped shape your life into the person you are today?

Where is Ruby Bridges today?

When I shared the story of Ruby Bridges in a sermon several weeks ago, several of you asked what happened to Ruby.

Ruby Bridges’ courage cannot be understated. She is a vocal advocate for anti-racism and encourages children to make meaningful connections with peers of all races. She has upheld the legacy of her parents, Abon and Lucille Bridges, her first-grade teacher, Barbara Henry, and child psychiatrist, Robert Coles, all of whom sought to provide her with a solid foundation to enact change.

She continues to pave the way for generations to come through her various advocacy efforts. Bridges’ contributions have been recognized worldwide. She holds various honorary degrees from Connecticut College in 1995 and Tulane University in 2012. In 2000, she was made an honorary Deputy U.S. Marshal. Ten years later, Bridges was honored at the White House. As of 2024, she was also inducted into the National Women’s Hall of Fame.

Ruby, through the Ruby Bridges Foundation, continues to host speaking engagements and write children’s books to strive for an end to racism in America. (Shay Dawson; Edited by Corina Gonzalez). For more information go to: https://www.womenshistory.org/education-resources/biographies/ruby-bridges

She has said, “All of us are standing on someone else’s shoulders. Someone else that opened the door and paved the way. And so, we have to understand that we cannot give up the fight, whether we see the fruits of our labor or not. You have a responsibility to open the door to keep this moving forward,” The Guardian, 2021 

Visit the Ruby Bridges Foundation https://rubybridges.foundation/#rubys-story for more information.

May the love of God fill your heart to love as you have been loved.

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Facing Nostalgia as a Leader

As a leader, how have you responded to nostalgia? In what situations, meetings, or decisions has nostalgia been helpful? On the other hand, how has nostalgia gotten in the way of moving forward with the mission of the church?  

When I was in college, the number one song on the charts was “Memories” sung by Barbara Streisand. Part of the lyrics went like this:

Memories, light the corners of my mind
Misty watercolor memories of the way we were
Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another for the way we were

Memories may be beautiful and yet
What’s too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget

Even today, when I hear the song, I am taken back to a particular time and place with particular individuals. Just as the song says, memories light the corners of my mind.

Memories are Powerful

Memories are powerful. Gil Rendel in his book, Quietly Courageous, writes: “Most memories are fond, but not all memories are pleasant. They can include some unhappy time or a time of loss. But for most of us, memories are enjoyable, instructive, comfortable, and important. At times memories are strong enough to make us wonder what it would be like to go back to that time in reality.”

Rendel says that nostalgia is like that. Nostalgia takes us from what bothers us now to what we remember to be a better time. It takes us from what is missing now to what was present in the past.

Nostalgia’s Impact on Leadership

In other words, nostalgia is a warmly remembered past. From Latin, the word “nostalgia” means a return home from pain and suffering. Brené Brown in her book, Atlas of the Heart, points out that “nostalgia was initially a medical term coined in the 17th century for a severe form of homesickness.” She points out that soldiers, displaced from their homes and thrust into the horrors of war, would often succumb to this ailment. Symptoms ranged from anxiety and insomnia to irregular heartbeat and anorexia. In extreme cases, it could even be fatal.

Nostalgia was understood as a natural coping mechanism. Rendel reminds us that it has a number of benefits, such as “an improved mood, increased social connectedness, and positive self-regard.” At its heart, when facing an unpleasant or stressful present, nostalgia has always connected to the warmly remembered past that once was and is remembered as better than what it is now. It is a longing to go home.

So, how do you, as a leader, respond to nostalgia when it tends to stand in the way of leading people to live and love in the present? Read the story of restoring worship in Israel after the Temple had been destroyed and take note of the responses and reactions of the leaders as the foundation of the new Temple was put into place.

Read Ezra 3:1-13

3 When the seventh month came and the Israelites were in their[a] towns, the people gathered together as one in Jerusalem. 2 Then Jeshua son of Jozadak with his fellow priests and Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel with his kin set out to build the altar of the God of Israel, to offer burnt offerings on it, as prescribed in the law of Moses the man of God. 3 They set up the altar on its foundation because they were in dread of the people of the lands, and they offered burnt offerings upon it to the Lord, morning and evening. 4 And they kept the Festival of Booths,] as prescribed, and offered the daily burnt offerings by number according to the ordinance, as required for each day, 5 and after that the regular burnt offerings, the offerings at the new moon and at all the sacred festivals of the Lord, and the offerings of everyone who made a freewill offering to the Lord. 6 From the first day of the seventh month they began to offer burnt offerings to the Lord. But the foundation of the temple of the Lord was not yet laid. 7 So they gave money to the masons and the carpenters, and food, drink, and oil to the Sidonians and the Tyrians to bring cedar trees from Lebanon to the sea, to Joppa, according to the grant that they had from King Cyrus of Persia.

In the second year after their arrival at the house of God at Jerusalem, in the second month, Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel and Jeshua son of Jozadak made a beginning, together with the rest of their people, the priests and the Levites and all who had come to Jerusalem from the captivity. They appointed the Levites from twenty years old and up to have the oversight of the work on the house of the Lord. 9 And Jeshua with his sons and his kin, and Kadmiel and his sons, Binnui and Hodaviah,[c] along with the sons of Henadad, the Levites, their sons and kin, together took charge of the workers in the house of God.

When the builders laid the foundation of the temple of the Lord, the priests in their vestments were stationed to praise the Lord with trumpets, and the Levites, the sons of Asaph, with cymbals, according to the directions of King David of Israel; 11 and they sang responsively, praising and giving thanks to the Lord, “For he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever toward Israel.” And all the people responded with a great shout when they praised the Lord because the foundation of the house of the Lord had been laid. 12 But many of the priests and Levites and heads of families, old people who had seen the first house on its foundations, wept with a loud voice when they saw this house, though many shouted aloud for joy, 13 so that the people could not distinguish the sound of the joyful shout from the sound of the people’s weeping, for the people shouted so loudly that the sound was heard far away.

Reflect on Ezra 3

This is a familiar story of the building of the new temple in Jerusalem following the time when the Temple had been destroyed and the Hebrew people had been driven out of their homeland. King Cyrus of Persia issued a proclamation that allowed the Israelites to return to Jerusalem and to rebuild the temple. A little more than a year after their return the Israelites had completed the construction of the foundation of the new temple. It was enough to allow for the religious practices of the people to begin.

It was at that point that a great celebration was planned, with priests dressed in all their robes, with trumpets and cymbals being played, and the people, both young and old, gathered. “And all the people responded with a great shout when they praised the Lord because the foundation of the house of the Lord had been laid. But many of the priests and Levites and heads of families, old people who had seen the first house on its foundations, wept with a loud voice when they saw this house, though many shouted aloud for joy…”

In other words, the people who gathered saw two different stories. Some saw the new temple and a promise of a new future, and they made loud sounds of joy. Others saw only a different temple, not the remembered temple of old, and saw a past that slopped away unfulfilled, and they made loud sounds of weeping.

The scripture says, “so that the people could not distinguish the sound of the joyful shout from the sound of the people’s weeping, for the people shouted so loudly that the sound was heard far away.”

Ezra 3 and church leadership lessons

Although this story is told as part of Hebrew history, it is descriptive of many of our churches. I know I am making it simpler than it is, but it seems there is a revolutionary story and a reactionary story. You, as a courageous Christ-centered leader, are standing in the middle of the two stories.

The revolutionary sees the future and its promise. The reactionary sees the past and resists the idealized lies of the future. As a leader, you are surrounded with people who are either ready to step into an uncertain future or stay in the once secure past.

As a follower of Jesus, given the responsibility to lead, you must learn how to stand with confidence in the midst of the anxiety of the present moment (current reality) and navigate between the already insufficient past and the clearly uncertain future. You must understand that the unknown future, along with the anxiety of the present, makes the nostalgic past a great temptation. You must also understand that when people feel insecure, they naturally seek out a confident voice. It is easy to be confident about what has already happened and to not rock the boat and to keep the peace.

Balancing Past and Future in Church Leadership

You must learn in whom you place your confidence, not just for yourself but for the sake of the mission which works for the transformation of the community and the world.

It is also a temptation to dismiss current reality and focus upon an aspirational reality. So, you work harder at what you already know in order to recapture a time and strength that no longer exists. Oh, the hard work carries the rewards of feeling certain and secure in your efforts and satisfaction of getting tired from work that is familiar. But nostalgia does not ask you how to be different for the future. That is much harder work.

Nostalgia’s attractiveness is that you avoid difficult questions. Too often, for the sake of keeping peace, you avoid anything that will create anxiety and chaos. To be an effective leader, you must know the difference between planning and learning.

Church Planning v Church Learning

There is less anxiety, and it is more comfortable to gather people together for planning. Planning infers understanding. If we know where we are and know where we want to go, planning means we only need to put steps in place to get there from here.

What would happen if you called people together for learning? Learning might not lead to immediate action, but it does provide the opportunity to ask questions that might not necessarily be easy to answer. For example, how do people who are not related to the church, form a community and search for meaning if they are not going to be a part of the church as an institution? Or what does worship look like for people who are not going to come into our church buildings? I am sure those questions lead to more difficult questions.

In planning, you prepare for people who are already present with the hope you might attract a few people who are not present. In learning, you discover ways to relate to people where they are and step out to respond to them. Learning might lead you to being incarnational and to doing church in a different way. Oh, just know that will create more anxiety and chaos.

Too often we get stuck in the past and are held hostage by nostalgia.

Take Memories and Move into the Future

John Claypool tells the story of his family farm in western Kentucky. His family had lived on the land for six generations. During a storm, the wind blew over an old pear tree that had been there as long as anybody could remember. He said his grandfather was saddened to lose the tree on which he had climbed as a boy and whose fruit he had eaten all his life.

A neighbor came by and said, “Doc, I’m really sorry to see your pear tree blown down.”

His grandfather said, “I’m sorry too. It was a real part of my past.”

“What are you going to do?”

His grandfather paused for a moment and said, “I’m going to pick the fruit and burn what’s left.”

Memories, light the corners of my mind. How will you respond to those memories?

Name what has been good and what has gotten you to this point in ministry? Pick the fruit. Celebrate by giving thanks. Name the lessons that were learned. Enjoy the memories. Then, take what you have learned and the memories and move into the future.

Return

As you reflect upon the day, give God thanks for the memories of the day. What have you learned about yourself today? What did you learn about others? Give God thanks for what you are learning.

Where did you see Jesus today? What was the situation or circumstance of your experience? Give God thanks for the experience. Ask God to give you more opportunities to see Jesus in everyday and ordinary ways.

Who received God’s love through you today? What step will you take to allow God to

love others more through you?

What will you do differently tomorrow? 

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Naming Current Reality in Church Leadership

How many meetings have you attended when an action was needed but no action was taken? A meeting where the need for a decision was either postponed for more discussion or handed off to a committee to make a recommendation? How much time have you invested in discussing an issue and then, as we say, “kicked the can further down the road?”

If you have experienced any of those meetings, you are in the company of some influential biblical characters. One of the great stories in the bible is the story of the Exodus. You know the story. The Israelites, the chosen people of God, were freed from slavery when Moses challenged Pharoah and led them into the wilderness.

Their escape took them to the banks of the Red Sea. When they got to the sea, they found themselves between the Egyptian army and the water. As you can imagine, there was a lot of anxiety and fear.

Biblical Leadership Lesson

Moses faced a dilemma. To lead the people into the water would be to drown, but to wait without action would be to be captured and punished by the Egyptians. They were trapped. Someone needed to make a decision and to be the first person into the water and to test God’s promise of deliverance.

The Hebrew Midrash, the stories of the rabbis, tells that the leaders of the tribes of Israel gathered at the edge of the water to decide who would go into the water first.

Isn’t it interesting that action was needed, but the leaders did what they knew to do. They had a committee meeting. As the story goes, they were unable to come to a decision. Their indecision created more anxiety and fear.

Quietly Courageous Leadership

It was at that point that Nashon, son of Amminidab, stood up and began to walk into the water. He stepped out in faith trusting God’s promise of deliverance.

Again, as the story goes, he walked into the water up to his ankles and the waters did not part. He walked into the water up to his waist, and the waters did not part. Up to his shoulders, up to his chin, and the waters did not part. He continued. As he took the step that would have put his nose under water, the waters parted.

Nashon, simply remembering the purpose of escaping from Egypt and remembering the promise given to Moses, quietly got up and did what was required. It was risky. But while others argued about the right way to do things, he stepped up to fulfill the intended purpose of the moment.

Nashon did not “kick the can down the road.” He faced the reality of the situation and acted upon what he trusted to be true. He risked his reputation, even his life, to lead the Israelites to safety. Nashon based his decision upon God’s promise of deliverance.

Church Leadership Challenges

Although we might not think our time is as dramatic as the Exodus, we are living in some desperate times. We need courageous leaders to step out in risky action, trusting God’s love, to address the anxiety and fear in which we are living.

Gil Rendle in his book Quietly Courageous, names three barriers to courageous and effective leadership. At the risk of being too simplistic, these barriers are the temptation of playing it safe (nostalgia), the temptation of Christian empathy (distorted empathy), and the temptation of tiredness (working harder instead of smarter).

To address these barriers, Rendle writes, “the first task of leadership is to paint an honest picture of the current reality.” He goes on to write, “The current reality is so deeply changed that it challenges old ways of leadership and asks for quiet, purposeful courage.”

Naming Truth in Christian Leadership

So, let me start with this. Most of the characters in the J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter novels refer to the evil character, Voldemort, as “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.” But there is one character, Harry Potter, who dares to say “the name” aloud.

Repeatedly, Harry is quieted, scolded, and “shhh’d” for saying Voldemort’s name. It is in saying his name that Harry claims power over “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.” Harry named the reality that others were afraid to name.

Perhaps the avoidance of naming reality should be called the “Voldemort Effect.” It has more to do with the current reality of leadership in the local church than you might think.

“The Effect” seems to be huge in many of our churches. It presents itself in the way we face reality and make our decisions. When you do not have the courage to name the current reality of your congregation, you fall victim to “the effect.” By not naming reality, you are unable to claim the power needed to move forward.

“He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named” shows up as nostalgia, distorted empathy, and overwork. Just as Voldemort started out as a good character, nostalgia and empathy are not bad within themselves. But when they demand unhealthy respect, each one can become harmful. Nostalgia hides in the closets, classrooms, sanctuaries, and parking lots. Nostalgia can make property more important than people.

Even worse, when unbridled nostalgia, empathy, and not letting go take control of our purpose, they can become the very realities you refuse to name. In the midst of not facing reality, you are faced with indecision and disengagement.

Let’s take a closer look at these realities that can and often blind us from the truth of our current reality.

Nostalgia

Memory is a gift from God. It is good at helping us with context and direction. It helps us become who God created us to be for today. But when memory enslaves you to the past and paralyzes you with fear, it is problematic. Being held hostage by yesterday does not produce fruit for tomorrow. It is time to name your captivity. You need to lay the fears of yesterday to rest. It is time to be courageous in your decisions. Keep your mission the priority. Create new memories. Take the risk to step out in faith, trusting God’s direction for this day.

Empathy

Identifying with another person’s feelings is a blessing. Understanding how other people feel is a good thing. Empathy is a gift from God. But when you distort empathy by getting stuck in a pattern of being nice, over-identifying, making decisions that will not offend friends, or masking your niceness as grace, you distort empathy.

The church and our culture need courageous Jesus followers to name what has become unhealthy, cheap grace. Then, we need courageous leaders to reframe empathy and lead people into the tough ministries of loving the people they encounter each day (neighbors). The neighbors you might or might not know or you might or might not like, or you are not sure you want to know.

Tiredness

The work of the church is some of the greatest work any one of us can be involved in. It is engaging, energizing, and exciting. On the other hand, church work, which has its necessary place, is too often energy draining and challenging in negative ways.

Being worn out because you do not have healthy habits of time management is not good for you or for the church. Too often you and I are involved in church activities to avoid the real mission of the church. You give too much time to the church to keep the machinery running but give little time or effort to make a difference in the community. I am not saying you should not be involved in the work of the church. But I am saying that any work that is not leading you and the church into the waters of the mission, supporting the mission, and making a difference in the community should be examined and named for what it is.

Courageous Christian Leadership

The time has come, in fact it is past time, for courageous Jesus followers to hold the purpose of the church above all other concerns (nostalgia, empathy, agendas). We need courageous leaders to guide our congregations into God’s plan and purpose of Shalom.

Even though “the effect” seems to be huge, we need courageous Christ-centered leaders to name that which we are afraid to name. Only then, can we claim the power to lead to be a welcoming community of faith, hope, and love, while serving as the hands of Christ. Only then, can we claim the power of making disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of Charleston, the Kanawha Valley, West Virginia, and the world.

So, how will you claim and use the power to lead this week? Will you take the risk of naming the reality of your present context?

As we stand on the edge of the sea, will you lead us into the waters of deliverance?

Know of my prayers for you and for our church as, together, we step into the waters of today to provide a bright hope for tomorrow.

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Leading by Developing Leaders

How will you lead this year? As a Christ-centered leader, you have the opportunity and responsibility to recognize potential in people and then assist them in developing that potential for the good of others. In a way, leadership is about teaching and training others to do be your replacement.   

Too often we think of others as competition. Because you are not secure in who you are a beloved child of God, you might try to elevate yourself and diminish the impact of others. Brené Brown defines a leader as “anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes and has the courage to develop that potential. Leadership is not about titles or the corner office. It’s about the willingness to step up, put yourself out there, and lean into courage.” 

Leader Development

So, how will you lead this year? Stephen Covey, wrote, “…most people’s “to-do” lists fall under the realm of urgent but not genuinely important duties.” Your work as a leader is not to develop “to-do” lists for yourself or for others. Your work is to develop the potential of people with whom you have responsibility. 

The Sermon on the Mount, and more specifically the Beatitudes, is an example of leader development. Jesus teaches and trains his followers to do greater things than he had done, so he begins with the development of the inner life. Who you are is how you lead. 

Use the pattern of Read, Reflect, Respond, Return as a tool to assist you in learning a way to assist others in living into their potential and becoming the leaders God created them to be. 

Read Matthew 5:1-12 

When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up the mountain, and after he sat down, his disciples came to him. And he began to speak and taught them, saying: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely[b] on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

Reflect

The Sermon on the Mount is one of the most evangelistic sermons ever preached. To evangelize means to teach, share, and preach the good news of Jesus. When Jesus is evangelized, people are faced, not with good news about him but, with Jesus himself. The Beatitudes are part of that good news. 

The Good News in Matthew

Matthew presents that good news as “God sent Jesus to teach us how to live a holy or righteous life.” He understood a holy and righteous life to be a life lived in relationship with God and with others. It was a life lived by working for the good of all people. 

So, Matthew is helping us understand that Jesus is teaching us what it means to be righteous. He starts with a blessed life. The word “blessed” as used in the Beatitudes, essentially means to be in a relationship with God and God’s people to the extent you become who God has created you to be.   

It is to have the deep security that comes from loving and being loved. On one level is closely related to the Hebrew word, “shalom.” It brings wholeness, joy, well-being, and peace. On another level, it means to have the deep soul-satisfying experience of being in a fellowship of people who help you become who God created you to be. It is in relationships with others that you experience wholeness, joy, well-being, and peace. 

Blessed

To be “blessed” is much deeper than being fortunate, happy, or given an advantage as we think about it today. For more regarding the word blessed see LeaderCast Episode 263.

When we read the beatitudes as a whole, we discover that the great blessing is to be sons and daughters of God. It is in our relationship with God that places us in the beloved community, the society of sinners saved by grace. You are a beloved child of God in community with other children of God. They describe what it means to be a part of the kingdom of heaven or God’s new order. This new order is not to escape this world, but to be God’s children in this world. 

Good News in the Gospels

It is helpful to think of it this way. In the third chapter of the gospel of John we read what Jesus said to Nicodemus, “Very truly, I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above” (John 3:3) or born anew. John describes the new birth or being born from above as the way to eternal life or to the quality of life lived in relationship to God.   

For Matthew, the beatitudes describe the same quality of life lived with God. In John’s Gospel, to be born anew was to become who God created you to be. For Matthew, the blessed life is to become who God created you to be. 

Although John doesn’t use the beatitudes, and Matthew doesn’t use being born anew or born again, they are both naming the same quality relationship with God. There are not two different requirements. Both accounts of the good news of God’s love in Jesus agree that being a beloved child of God is a basic requirement for membership in God’s new order. Whether you call it beatitudes or birth, the result is the same. 

The Beatitudes

The Beatitudes are a reality to be enjoyed here and now.  Too often we think of them as something to achieve and if we work hard enough we will be blessed. No, because you are becoming who God created you to be you are blessed in your humility, you are blessed in your actions of mourning, you are blessed in your focus, you are blessed in your relationships, etc. 

So, to be blessed is not a pious hope for the future, it is to celebrate who you are becoming as a child of God today. 

Being Blessed in Leadership

Here is where the beatitudes come in regarding you being a Christ-centered leader. Remember, a leader is anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes and has the courage to develop that potential. Leadership is not about titles or positions. It is about the willingness to step up, put yourself out there, and lean into courage. (Brené Brown). 

As a Christ-centered leader, as you grow more and more in this blessed life, you are helping others experience the blessed life. Your leadership is a blessing. Who you are is how you lead. 

Blessed are you when you recognize the blessedness of others and help them become more who God created them to be. 

To learn more about the Beatitudes listen to LeaderCast episodes 262 to 267. Explore the episodes here.

Respond

Florence Littauer has written over thirteen books and helped others write books as well. At one of her seminars, she stood on stage with twenty-six other authors, each of whom she had helped to write their own books.  She stood there will all those authors and said, “If you think I am proudest of my books, you are wrong.  I am most proud of the people I have helped to become writers themselves.” She did not define her success in terms of her products but in terms of the people who she had trained. If she had been an insecure author, she might have tried to lessen the competition. In her blessedness, she was training her replacements. 

Blessed are you when you recognize the blessedness of others and help them become more who God created them to be. 

Return

Give God thanks for the people you met today. How were you living into your blessedness? How did you assist others in living into their blessedness? Give God thanks for the opportunities you had to love others as you have been loved.

Pray

Blessed are you, O God, creator of the universe and giver of good gifts to your children. I am grateful for the blessed life into which you are leading me. By your grace, give the courage and grace to lead others into a blessed life. As one of your beloved children, help me become more of the leader you need at this point and time in history. I offer who I am to you in the name of Jesus. Amen. 

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Love Shaped Leadership

A quick internet search will reveal that there are many styles of leadership. Whether it be authoritarian, strategic, visionary, coaching, transitional, adaptive, or any number of other styles, each style is a method of providing direction, implementing plans, and motivating people.

Leadership styles are based on a number of factors, including the level of control and power the leader possesses. Different situations call for different approaches. Most leaders use a combination of styles to motivate and equip people to fulfill a purpose or mission. 

What’s Your Story?

Regardless of the style, your inner story will subconsciously guide the way you lead. You do not leave who you are, how you think, or what you feel, at home. Your needs, emotions, and dreams come with you. As much as you want the people with whom you work to trust and respect you, the people who look to you as their leader are looking for the same. 

Over my years I have learned there are two underlying influences in the style of every leader. There are those who lead with fear and there are those who lead with love.

The question is, which is the underlying influence in your leadership?

Fear-based Leadership

Fear-based leadership usually shows up in two ways. You either make decisions based upon what you want, or you are paralyzed because you want people to like you. 

Either you react to challenges based upon assumption and hearsay or you deny and dismiss challenges because of the fear of offending someone. You either make unilateral decisions or make no decisions which lead to “anything goes.” Your cynical attitudes permeate your style, and you pass your pessimism on to others. 

Even when it is not your intention, you create an “us and them” culture based upon mistrust. You either micro-manage out of fear things will not be done the way you want them done or your desire to be liked creates a culture of mistrust where everyone is doing his or her own thing. Lots of activity but little production. Both types of fear-based leadership become the center of all the work.

Fear-based leadership cultivates fear rather than trust and stability. It always seeks an enemy. Its focus is usually on something the leader is against rather than on people and their potential.

There are good people who are motivated by fear. Just remember, who you are is how you lead.

Love-based Leadership

The opposite of leading with fear is leading with love. Loved-based leadership is relational. You are vulnerable and genuine with the people with whom you work. Love-based leaders look for their potential and equip them to live up to their potential. You are generous in your assessments, giving the benefit of the doubt. You are courageous in your decision-making, creating a space for trust and collaboration.

Love-based leaders cultivate trust and compassion. They take pride in the work of the people entrusted to their care. Love-based leaders focus on the well-being of the people entrusted to them. They are grateful for the work of their colleagues and give credit to whom credit is due.

Lead with Love

Love-based leadership is rooted in unconditional love. It is selfless and works for the well-being, not only of the people entrusted to your care but of all people, especially strangers. Love-based leadership is Christian leadership. It is greater than your likes and dislikes. It is greater than your fears. John in his first letter wrote, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love” (1 John 4:18).

There is one characteristic of love-shaped leadership that sets the foundation for everything else: self-care and self-compassion. Stephen R. Covey, in his writing and speaking, emphasized the significance of love in leadership. According to Covey, love, trust, and managing people with a dedication to helping them reach their full potential were key responsibilities of leaders.

He said having a love for yourself was critical to your performance as a leader. If you want to care for others, you must look after yourself. Love-shaped leadership is built upon a solid basis of self-care and compassion. It is the first step toward leading with love.

You can lead with love once you have established care and compassion for yourself.

Three Characteristics of Love-Shaped Leaders

There are many characteristics of love, but here are three to help you lead with love. 

Vulnerability

One of the most essential characteristics of an effective leader is vulnerability. It is one of the qualities we look for in others but is the last quality we want to show of ourselves. To lead with love means you nurture a culture where people feel safe and where you, when struggling, find support and care. 

It takes courage to be vulnerable. Instead of hiding your failures and covering up your weaknesses, you own them. You ask for feedback and learn from others. Your authenticity helps build trust and your capacity to care. Your experience of trust creates compassion for and acceptance of those around you. 

Although vulnerability is difficult work, it helps you become the leader you are created to be. 

Explore more about the intersection of vulnerability and leadership here.

Listening

One of the most desired characteristics of an effective leader is the ability to listen. It is another quality we look for in others but find it difficult for ourselves. But love-shaped leadership is focused on the well-being of others. Listening builds trust and shows your capacity to care. It means you create a culture where people feel safe to speak up and where you are slow to shut people down. 

It takes courage to listen. You know where you are going. As a leader, you know the path that needs to be taken. You know what needs to be done to navigate the barriers. But unless you give people the opportunity to be heard, they do not feel they are a valuable part of what you are doing. 

A reminder is, God has given you two ears but one mouth. It is difficult to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but it helps you become the leader you are created to be. 

What stops people from listening to you? Explore more here.

Generosity

One of the most needed characteristics of an effective leader is generosity. It means that you make a genuine effort to understand others. You only have to look at your relationships with family and friends to experience how difficult it is to truly understand one another. Being generous means that you assume that your colleagues have good intentions and that they are doing the best they can under the circumstances. 

It is closely related to listening. Generosity requires patience and humility. It requires a sense of wonder and curiosity and a genuine interest in the people you are leading. You listen to what is being said, ask questions for clarity, and explore their perspectives. It is easy to judge and blame when things do not work the way they should but staying open and curious in conversations creates an environment where people feel heard, seen, and truly cared for. 

The best way to think of it is, you are loving others as God in Christ has loved you. It is difficult to be generous when you are depending upon others to do quality work, but your practice of generosity will help you become the leader you are created to be.

Perfect love casts out fear

You know better than anyone what motivates you and your leadership. This week, examine your leadership style. Are you leading with fear? Afraid to be vulnerable? Does fear emerge when you seek to listen and develop relationships? Are you afraid to be generous with colleagues?

As you reflect this week, keep in mind that you were created to lead at this time and place. Accepting God’s love for you is as important as you sharing God’s love for others. In fact, there is no love-shaped leadership, your acceptance of God’s love for you and for the people entrusted to you care.

Who you are is how you lead. I pray that your relationships are shaped by love this week.

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Leadership and Critical Thinking

As a leader, who is a follower of Jesus, how do you make decisions? Upon what do you base your decision-making? In today’s world, when you are constantly bombarded by messages designed to persuade you, are you able to think for yourself, stay true to your values, and reach your own conclusions?

What is Your Decision Making Process?

Whether it be materials used by colleagues to gain your support for their proposals, leaders who want to influence your thinking, arguments to shape your beliefs, or advertisements to buy certain products, you are constantly put in the position of making decisions that affect you and the people entrusted to your care. Often, without realizing it, you are at risk of being manipulated, deceived, and mindlessly led to conclusions that others want you to have. What is your process for decision-making?

Critical Thinking

Courageous and effective leaders, in their decision-making, have developed the skill of critical thinking. They can see the big picture, draw reasonable conclusions from the appropriate data provided, and make reasonable judgments to solve problems and make decisions.

For example, theories must be backed up with truth and knowledge. For a society to function effectively, its citizens need to establish opinions about what is right and wrong and be consistent in living out those opinions. It is the process of critical thinking that assists in maintaining consistency and order.

Another example is, to have a thriving congregation, developing Jesus followers who impact the world, you need critical thinking in the church. Theology must be backed up in practice. For a church to function effectively, Jesus followers need to establish what it means to live like Jesus in the community and the world. Critical thinking is needed to help develop relationships, assess assets, and respond to needs.

The leaders who can see the big picture, use relevant information to understand the situation, and make reasonable judgments are the leaders needed to navigate the changing landscape in today’s world.

Complex Problem Solving

A survey of human resource professionals, The Future of Jobs, revealed that critical thinking is the second most important skill in the workforce. Complex problem solving is the number one skill. Courageous and effective leaders possess and develop both skills.

So, what does that mean for you as a leader? Take a moment to look over some of the characteristics of critical thinkers. Judge for yourself what characteristics shape your leadership.

Critical thinkers are:

Objective

Critical thinkers can recognize and challenge their own assumptions and look at the immediate situation from a neutral perspective. They understand that leaving their assumptions unchecked can lead to poor thinking and bad decision-making. So, they know how to test and validate their own thoughts and feelings. When critical thinkers are emotionally attached to a thought or decision, they can articulate their feelings while holding their objectivity.

Discerning

Critical thinkers can separate fact from inference. Once information is collected, it is important to understand the difference between facts and inferences. Too often leaders assume what is true based upon hearsay and treat it as a fact. This creates a shaky foundation for any future thinking and decision-making.

A fact is objectively observable by other people. An inference is something that includes an assumption or an opinion that may or may not be true. I can drive from my house to my office in 28 minutes. I do it almost on a daily basis. That is a fact. If I use my GPS to calculate the distance and average speed to get to 28 minutes, that is an inference.

The same is true about information shared regarding decisions made by congregational leaders as well as business leaders. Critical thinkers don’t infer truth, they search out the factual truth.

Collaborative

Critical thinkers can listen and receive input from multiple sources. Critical thinkers are not only willing to consider but incorporate other people’s ideas. In their collaboration, they help separate fact from fiction. They listen for what is not said as well as what is said. Because they are good collaborators, they model collaboration for the people around them.

Open-minded

Critical thinkers know they need to think through situations and draw on past experiences. But they do not let past experiences be the sole viewpoint from which decisions are made. Courageous leaders know that the past is the past for a reason. They look at data and observations from the past and discover why something worked or did not work. In other words, they are open to discovering new ways and are not stuck in nostalgia.

Curious

Critical thinkers ask questions. They know where things are working and who is bringing new ideas, and diverse experiences, as well as who has what strengths, talents, skills, and abilities. They gather information and test their ideas and decisions on the people around them. 

Strategic

Critical thinkers know the current reality of their context. They set their sights on what is to be accomplished. Then starting where they are, critical thinkers use the facts of their situation and the human resources available to navigate the barriers and obstacles to get to their goal. They are able to put together a plan, set boundaries, develop assessments, and a step-by-step approach to living into their mission.

Relational

Many people think that thinking critically causes problems in relationships. The truth is, being a critical thinker allows the leader to better understand the perspective of others and helps the leader become more open-minded toward different views.

No Shortage of Information

There is no shortage of information coming at you today. That is why you need to use your critical thinking skills to decide for yourself what you believe and upon what you are making your decisions. Critical thinking helps you sort through all the extra voices and allows you the opportunity to develop your thoughts and opinions based on the facts.

So, over the next several weeks, try one of the following to improve your critical thinking skills: 

Keep your mission in mind

When it comes to critical thinking, it’s important to always keep your goal in mind. Know what you are trying to achieve, and then figure out how you best get there. 

Gather reliable information

Make sure that you are using trusted resources. Test your assumptions and the statements of others. Look for the facts and have the courage to follow the factual and reliable information. 

Ask questions

When something is not clear or does not make sense, ask questions. Remember, critical thinkers are curious.

Think long term as you live into the short term.

When coming up with solutions, keep in mind where you are going as you are navigating your next step. What are the consequences of not caring for the immediate? What are the consequences of forgetting your goal? Both are significant in the equation.

Explore all sides

There is not just one simple answer. It is not as easy as what is right and what is wrong. To make your decision, explore all options and think outside of the box before you come to any conclusions.

The Truth Will Make You Free

I am convinced you are the leader needed for this time. To be effective you will need to think critically. When Jesus said, “The truth will make you free,” he was referring to the truth found in himself. 

There is a truth about medicine that sets people free from superstitious understandings of disease and makes health possible. In meteorology, there is a truth that sets people free from the fear of storms. There is a truth about doctrine and theology that sets people free to think for themselves and make decisions for themselves. Along with general truth, Jesus is talking about a personal truth embodied in him – a truth of love and relationship.

Sometimes leaders misplace the ultimate truth of love and relationship with personal, political, and institutional truth. All three have their place, but the truth that will ultimately set you free is the truth of God’s love embodied in Jesus.

The question is, upon what truth do you make your decisions? In today’s world, it is easy to get sidetracked by the messages designed to persuade you. Are you able to think for yourself and reach your own conclusions? Are you able to let the truth of God’s love guide you in your critical thinking?

At the risk of being one of those many voices trying to persuade you, I pray that the truth of God’s love guides you today and every day in your relationships and decision-making. 

Remember, who you are is how you lead.

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Leadership and Stress

How are you dealing with stress these days? Stress can take a toll on the best of us. No matter how strategically or effectively you lead there is always a level of stress. As you juggle multiple demands to meet the needs that keep your church or business running smoothly, the stress gradually builds. Before you recognize it, your body and mind give way to sleepless nights and high doses of caffeine. Without your attention, the stress finally takes its toll, and you are left in a mess. 

Busy or Stressed?

Many of us are reluctant to admit it when we are stressed. We usually choose to answer that we are “busy” rather than admit that we are overwhelmed or do not want to deal with the workload. Our reluctance to talk about how pressure is impacting us has reached the point that some of us are ineffective in our ministry, and we don’t admit it or recognize it…at least publicly. 

High levels of stress can have a negative influence and ruin your effectiveness as a leader. It is easy to slip into the stress trap as you work to resolve day-to-day issues while dealing with difficult and disgruntled church members and not to mention doing your best to reach new people. Add to the list family dynamics and lack of personal care, too much stress causes unnecessary and often unnoticed anxiety and worry. 

I don’t need to continue down that negative path. You already know that stress keeps you up at night and irritable during the day. You already know the symptoms of being tired, sad, and disinterested, as well as poor eating habits and the general dislike of certain people. 

Not all Stress is Bad

But with all of that, not all stress is bad. 

There is healthy stress. When you are healthy as a leader, you search for answers to problems, connect with others, effectively use resources, and creatively use your strengths, talents, and skills. Keep that in mind, because when stress is not healthy, it overwhelms, isolates, and paralyzes. 

As a leader, you will feel pressure from all sides. Whether it is to meet certain expectations from supervisors or to address the needs and wants of the people entrusted to your care, there is pressure. The question is, how do you transform the pressure or stress into effective and courageous leadership? 

There are respected physicians and consultants who can and do provide effective plans for dealing with stress. I’m not attempting to take anyone’s place. I simply want you to consider how you can name your stress, face it, and transform it as a healthy leader. Below are four things to consider:   

Be True To Yourself

The greatest internal cause of stress is trying to be someone you aren’t. Knowing yourself frees you from living inconsistently and enables you to live within your values. It strengthens your ability to withstand pressure from others. 

It is not unusual to give up personal time and to work as many hours as needed to get the job done. But to be an effective leader, you must know your limits, set your boundaries, and care for your emotional, mental, and physical health. 

Take time to exercise, to pursue a hobby, to be with the people you love. You know what energizes you and what brings you joy. You can and will transform the stress you experience into effective and courageous leadership when you are healthy and in sync with yourself. 

Focus On Your Purpose

Another cause of stress is saying yes when you should say no. One of the causes of stress is that you do not keep your purpose clearly in focus. You are out of focus when you fear saying “no” will cause people not to like you. As an effective and courageous leader, you learn to prioritize both people and work. You don’t have to say “yes” to have people like you. 

A common mistake leaders make is trying to do it all. When you lose focus, you invite more stress, and when you are more stressed, you are counterproductive. Learn the strengths and abilities of the people with whom you work. Delegate tasks. Set people free to be who God has created them to be. Trust that they can do their jobs well and avoid being a micromanager. 

Keeping your focus allows you to get more done in less time. It transforms your stress into effective and courageous leadership. 

Adapt To Changing Contexts

Another cause of stress is trying to control things you can’t control. You can control what you do. You can influence what others do. But you can’t control the situations or the circumstances in which you and others interact.

Being true to yourself and focusing on your purpose is essential in keeping what you cannot control in check. So, keep yourself focused on what you can control. When you need help, ask for it. Effective and courageous leaders know what they need to get the job done. Working collaboratively is what makes a good leader a great leader. It is shortsighted to think that you can do it all without support. Knowing what you can and can’t control takes the pressure off you and helps develop the strengths and skills of the people with whom you work.

This might come across as stating the obvious, but you cannot control what is happening in Ukraine. You might not be able to influence the Ohio State legislature regarding concealed weapons or voter redistricting. You might feel helpless in what is happening in the United Methodist Church. But you do have control over how you will lead in the midst of what you cannot control, and you have influence over how the church responds.

Adapting to what you can control leads to effective and courageous leadership. You can transform stress into effective leadership by being true to yourself, keeping your purpose in focus, and leading through the chaos and confusion of what can be controlled and what cannot be controlled.

Surround Yourself With Trusted Leaders 

Another cause of stress is a lack of trust in the people with whom you work. You can and will relieve yourself of stress when you develop and trust the strengths, talents, and skills of the people entrusted to your care.

Effective leadership is not a matter of authority or position, it is a matter of emulation. The people with whom you work want a leader they can trust. When you cultivate an atmosphere of trust, you find yourself in the midst of highly productive and hope-filled leaders.

Effective and courageous leaders are content to see the honors and rewards of hard work go to their followers. When people know that you trust and respect them, they trust and respect you.

Effective and courageous leaders are loyal to those entrusted to them. When people know that you have their backs, they are free to live into their full potential as leaders.

Effective and courageous leaders live by the words of Jesus, “The greatest among you shall be the servant of all.” This is a truth that followers respect the most. 

There is so much more that can be said, but you get the point. Stress is a real and important issue in relation to effective and courageous leadership. As the leader, it is your responsibility to ensure that your stress levels do not impact the people with whom you work, as well ensure that their stress levels are kept in check. 

Stress and Christ-Centered Leadership

Allow me to conclude by reminding you of a familiar passage from Scripture and the pattern of read, reflect, respond and return. 

Read Matthew 11:28 

“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” 

Reflect 

Jesus is speaking to all who are stressed. The words are spoken to people who are burdened with obligations that keep them from being in communion with God. In the case of stress, people who are burdened with situations that keep them from being who God created them to be. 

The invitation to rest is not an invitation to a selfish life of ease, but of deliverance from the artificial burdens that cause stress. 

Jesus is offering true Sabbath rest or the invitation to be true to yourself and to God’s love and care. 

Respond 

Where will I experience stress today? How will I address it? With whom will I share my stress? 

Return 

Where was I weary today? How did I respond to my weariness? What would I do differently? For whom am I grateful? 

O God, I give you thanks for what I have learned today and for the people who have helped me through my stress. Thank you for the rest you have provided.  Amen 

So, how are you dealing with your stress these days? Remember, who you are is how you lead.

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Gratitude in Leadership

Have you ever had one of those days when you just felt “out of sorts”? Although nothing catastrophic happened, there were a few insignificant events that ruined the day? As a result, you weren’t in the best of moods. The bumps along the way felt worse than they really were, and by the end of the day, you were exhausted and frustrated. 

I had one of those days recently. When I recognized what was going on, I decided I didn’t want to spend the rest of the day feeling crummy or as I say, “grousing around”. It wasn’t fair to my family, to the people around me, or to me. The last thing I wanted was to feel badly because I was a jerk. So, I took a few minutes for myself and focused on the things that had gone well and on the people with whom I had interacted. As I named each one, I gave God thanks for the opportunity to make a difference and for the people who enrich my life. 

Gratitude Can Transform Us

I know it might sound strange, but I have learned that gratitude has the power to transform. It is one of the most effective ways to become not only a better leader but also a better person. Gratitude is such a powerful behavior, it can and will enhance your leadership. Almost always, people respond positively to an expression of gratitude. 

What we know is this: A grateful leader is: 

Respected

Gratitude takes people seriously. When you express your gratitude to someone for his/her work, you are showing them respect and appreciation.  When people know you respect them, and take them seriously, you not only gain their respect, but you plant within them the desire to be grateful as well. 

Trusted

Gratitude is an expression of authentic care and compassion.  It cannot be faked. Think for a minute about a time you heard words like, “Thank you for visiting my mother,” or “Thank you for your sermon,” or “Thank you for your leadership with the committee.” How did you feel when you heard those words? Words of gratitude create a feeling of trust. Now, imagine how the people you lead feel when you express your gratitude to and for them. Expressing your appreciation and gratitude creates the trust followers need from their leader.   

Appreciated

Gratitude is always received positively.  Every person you know needs and wants encouragement and affirmation. So, when you say, “Thanks, that was awesome!” you are meeting a deep need. Grateful people are seldom angry people. When you express gratitude to and for someone, you not only gain their appreciation but create a positive culture of gratitude. 

Exercising Gratitude

Again, I know it sounds strange, maybe even too good to be true. But being a grateful leader is not easy. It requires a change of heart and persistent attention. So, how do you exercise gratitude?

Gratitude has an object.

To be truly grateful, your gratitude is focused upon a person or an event. Biblical writers are clear about the object of this gratitude:

o   “Oh, give thanks to the Lord” (Psalm 105:1)

o   “Thanks be to God” (2 Corinthians 9:15)

You can’t express gratitude in a vacuum. Gratitude, by its very nature, has an objective.

Gratitude is genuine. 

You can’t fake thankfulness. You may be able to pretend you are grateful for a while, but unless you are deeply and truly thankful, it’s not going to work. The good news is, by intentionally exercising gratitude on a daily basis, you can build up your gratitude muscle, and cultivate genuine gratitude.

Gratitude is expressed frequently.

Thanksgiving is more than one day a year.  A family gathering, with turkey, once a year is okay. But what is needed is a daily reminder to be thankful or a daily pattern of gratitude. To build your gratitude muscle, you will have to express it not annually, not monthly, not even weekly. Gratitude is a daily effort. When you think about it, there are a lot of things for which to be grateful, but the one thing to remember is: Gratitude is expressed frequently.

Gratitude is specific. 

Gratitude is not generic. As previously mentioned, gratitude has an objective, but it also has an immediate cause. Try these words of gratitude: “I’m really thankful for the way you handled that tense situation in the board meeting. You spoke softly, in a controlled way, but you also showed them why we need to move forward. Thanks for doing that.” Or “Thank you for that email last night. I know you stayed up to write it, and it was exactly the information needed for the meeting. Thank you for your hard work, and the detailed information.” You get the point. Be specific. 

If I could give one quality gift to each of my family members and to all you, my friends and colleagues, it would be the gift of gratitude. If I could have God do anything for you, I would ask God to make you grateful. Gratitude is the central virtue of the Christian faith. Over my 45+ years of ministry, I have never known a person who was grateful who was at the same time bitter, hurtful, or vengeful. 

Strengthen Your Gratitude Muscle

During the month of November and into the month of December, Sara Thomas and I are inviting you to strengthen your gratitude muscle by participating in two things: 

Daily 8:46 Prayers

Every evening at 8:46, Sara will post a prayer of gratitude for the evening on the Transforming Mission Facebook page and Instagam account. These prayers are short sentence prayers designed to assist you in developing a pattern of gratitude. 

Giving Thanks Podcast Mini-Series

Every Thursday, from November 5 – December 10,  Sara and I will provide a podcast focused upon gratitude for the week. Each podcast is designed to give thanks for the way God has gifted you to lead through these days of uncertainty and chaos. This is one way we want to thank you for your leadership.

Thank You

Every list of the characteristics of leaders different. Gratitude doesn’t make many of those lists. I think it is time to change that. I challenge you to put a little gratitude into your leadership. I think you will be pleasantly surprised.

Sara Thomas and I are grateful for you and your leadership. In gratitude for you, we are making ourselves available to assist you in your work of leading, serving, and caring. When Sara or I can be of encouragement or help to you, contact us at connect@transformingmission.org. Sara and I are ready to assist you in becoming the leader you are created to be. Don’t hesitate to call as we seek to assist you in deepening your relationship with Christ, the church, and your community.

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Look at What You Have Done

How are you doing today? To say the least, you have been through a lot this year. I don’t need to rehash all the events that have changed your ways of living over the past several months, I know that each of us has struggled in our own ways. Whether it has been with the changes in worship, gathering in groups, learning new technology, caring for family while balancing work, illness, anxiety, depression, or any number of other changes, we have each had our challenges.  

Today, I want us to shift our perspective.  

Because we use so much of our brain space worrying about what is coming next, grieving over what once was, and struggling with anxiety in the present, we often forget how much we have accomplished. Whether family, friends, neighbors, church members, you have had a tremendous impact upon the people entrusted to you. Even when it didn’t feel like you were making a difference, you were successfully navigating some huge obstacles.

So, give me a few minutes of your time today. If you are willing, I want you to stop and focus upon yourself.  You have given much of yourself, as well as time, looking after and caring for others. Now it is time for a little self-care.    

Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

Think about something you have accomplished over the past seven months? Take a deep breath and be honest with yourself. 

Feels good doesn’t it? What challenges did you have to overcome? What have you learned that can be used in the future or is helpful now?  

It is okay to feel good about it. You have made some substantial accomplishments, but it doesn’t have to be anything big. Just think about what you have done. Did you learn to cook something you haven’t cooked before, start a new exercise routine, or take up water coloring? Maybe it was keeping your children fed and clothed as you navigated the chaos of becoming an at-home teacher. When you set boundaries, either with work or in your personal life, you accomplished something significant.   

So be kind to yourself and take notice of some of the small things you have accomplished, because when you build on those things, you can put your life and leadership into perspective. Some days it is easy to forget just how strong and impactful you have been.  

What Does Love Look Like?

Are you willing to give me a few more minutes? If you are, consider these things: 

Reflect upon times when you experienced love over the past seven months. When were you vulnerable and empathetic? Where did you take people seriously, even when you felt it was difficult to do? When did you listen to and make a place for people with whom you disagree? Whether it was with family, friends, church members, or strangers, where did you provide a caring and safe place for people to become who God had created them to be? 

Get one or two of those people or moments in your mind. Now breathe deeply and whisper this prayer, “O God, thank you for loving people through me and thank you for loving me through those same people. Amen” 

Reflect on Joy

Reflect upon times when you experienced joy. 

Over the past seven months, what has made you stop to remember God’s goodness and to give God thanks? What was taking place when you realized your interaction with people was a response of gratitude for God’s grace? When did you feel at one with God and the people around you? 

Think about a time when you laughed so hard you cried, a time you were amazed by God’s presence, and a moment you wanted to capture and to hold. Get one or two of those people or moments in your mind. 

Now breathe deeply and whisper this prayer, “O God, thank you for the deep joy you have planted in my heart. Help me be so joyful that the people around me experience your joy in and through me. Amen.” 

You’re Generous

Reflect upon the moments you experienced generosity.

When did you give someone the benefit of your doubt? When did you show God’s kindness and goodness to people entrusted to your care whether they deserved it or not? When did you say to yourself, “I know he is doing the best he can.” Or “How can I help her take the next step?” 

Get one or two of those people or moments in your mind. Now breathe deeply and whisper this prayer, “O God, thank you caring for people in and through me. Help me to be open to receive your kindness and goodness through them.  Amen”

Courageous Action

 Reflect upon the situations where you experienced courage. 

What risks did you take? When did you have to be vulnerable? What empowered you to make decisions and lead through difficult situations? Who were the people that came alongside you to encourage you? 

Get one or two of those people or moments in your mind. Now breathe deeply and whisper this prayer, “O God, thank you for giving me the strengths and skills to lead with courage. By your grace, give me the courage to assist others to live and lead courageously. Amen.” 

Look at What You’ve Done!

As a leader, you have accomplished more than you have given yourself credit for accomplishing. You have been gifted to lead at this time in history. People are looking to you to be the leader they can trust, a leader of compassion, a leader who is stable, and a leader who offers genuine hope.

You can and will lead through this present crisis. At the moment, we are in the middle of a mess. But because you have taken the time to reflect upon what God has done in and through you, you are able to step and out to lead with courage and grace.

Take Action

Are you still with me? Here is the last thing I’m asking you to do.

Call, text, email a trusted friend or colleague and tell them what you have accomplished. Give them the opportunity to celebrate with you. At your best, you cannot be who God created you to be alone.  Remember, it is okay to feel good, so celebrate.

If you don’t have someone with whom you feel comfortable sharing, then call, text, or email me.  It would be my pleasure to celebrate your accomplishments with you.

Grateful for You

I am grateful for you and your leadership. You have accomplished much. Now is the time to stop and catch your breath before stepping back into the mess. 

Just remember, you will get through this by staying focused upon the God who has gifted you. Keep focused on how God has already used you to make a significant difference in the lives of the people entrusted to your care.

Don’t forget, when Sara Thomas or I can be of encouragement or help to you, contact us at connect@transformingmission.org. Sara and I are ready to assist you in becoming the leader you are created to be. Don’t hesitate to call as we seek to assist you in deepening your relationship with Christ, the church, and your community.

O God, thank you for my friends and colleagues. Thank you for the ways you have enriched my life in and through them.  By your grace, embrace them through me so we can be the leaders you need us to be at this time in history. I offer them to you in the name of Jesus. Amen

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People Want Leaders with a Stabilizing Influence

We are living in a time of enormous change. Almost daily we experience the anxiety of the ground moving under our feet. When the foundation upon which we have been living begins to shift, our anxiety levels intensify.  

When you are driven by anxiety, you see the world differently.  You begin to make your decisions based upon the fear of scarcity and to focus on problems and shortages rather than possibilities and abundance. As a leader, it is during such anxiety you need the courage to stay focused and to lead the people entrusted to your care.    

Stability

During times like this, one of the qualities people want in a leader is stability. According to a recent Gallup survey of 10,000 followers, words like strength, support, and peace were used to describe what people needed and wanted from their leaders. The survey revealed that people are looking for leaders who provide stability.   

It is during times of uncertainty, that you can be the leader that makes the world better. People want and need leaders of stable influence to navigate the unknowns of our changing communities and churches. Whether you believe it or not, your leadership makes the world a better place.   

7 Characteristics of Leaders Who Provide Stability

Trusted

You model integrity and consistency. You are capable and competent while leading with confidence and humility.  Further, you are focused and leave no doubt in the minds of followers as to what matters, and what will and will not be tolerated.

Relational

You are truthful about who you are, which makes you vulnerable. You are honest about your ability, which makes you authentic. Because you are both vulnerable and authentic you are able to develop healthy relationships. It is through your relationships that you are able to encourage, support, and inspire the people entrusted to your care.

Balanced

You are rational in your thinking and decision making. During uncertainty, you carefully listen to the people around you and take what is said into consideration. You lead because of who you are and not because of the anxiety of the moment or the opinions of the people filled with anxiety. Because your authenticity and trustworthiness grow out of your inner life, people have no doubt what motivates your decision-making. They trust you and the direction in which you are leading.

Compassionate and Caring

You understand your effectiveness is rooted in the well-being of the people you lead. Further, you listen to understand. You are empathetic and compassionate in your behavior. When people know you care, you help create a sense of trust and stability.

Mission-Focused

With the mission in mind, you lead with conviction. Because your leadership is grounded in the mission, you are clear regarding the direction you are leading. Because you are clear regarding your direction, you can focus upon the people entrusted to your care. Remember, especially in times of uncertainty, being “focused to a fault” is a good thing.  It is your focus that helps bring stability.   

Value-Driven

Clarity of values is fundamental in being a leader of stabilizing influence. Your values drive your actions. As a leader who is mission-focused and value-driven, you are decisive and clear when it comes to navigating the unknown and leading through confusion and chaos. Living your values in all aspects of your life, whether it be at home, at church, at work, or in the community, brings the stability people need from you as their leader.

Embracing the Future

The more you know and understand about the challenges of the future, the less there is to fear. Because you are looking toward a “new day” you are able to imagine and articulate exciting possibilities. You are not afraid to talk about the future. Being well grounded, you are able to gain wisdom and insight from past experiences and events.  Being trusted, you are able to inspire the people to see a better tomorrow. Because you have a compelling sense of what lies ahead, you are able to show people how they can and will be part of the future. 

Robert F Kennedy once said, “Few will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can commit to a series of actions to make the world better, and the sum total of all those actions will write the history of our generation.” It is during times of uncertainty, that you have the opportunity to be the leader that makes the world better.

Being a Leader with a Stabilizing Influence

Are you ready to be the leader you have been created to be? Do you want people to trust you to lead them into the future? Do you want to make the world a better place? Of course, you do. So, below is one way you can check yourself regarding being a leader of stabilizing influence. This is similar to becoming a leader people can trust. Just know upfront, this will not be easy.

  1. Choose five people with whom you live, work, or play. These five people need to be people who will give you honest feedback.
  2. Have them answer these questions for you:
    • Can you depend upon what I say to be true?
    • Do you…
      • experience me as being authentic?
      • perceive that I listen for understanding?  
      • experience me as being caring and compassionate when under pressure?
    • Knowing what you know about me, are you able to honest with me?
  1. Make time to have a conversation with each of the five persons using #2 as your subject.
  2. After your initial feedback conversation, ask each person to give you feedback over the next 6 weeks as you focus upon becoming the leader with stability.   

During a time of rapid change, people need the assurance of stability. They are looking for leaders to be a stabilizing influence. As a leader, you can lead like never before. Now is the time to be the leader people need and want. Become the leader you want to follow.