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Integrity: Behavior and Belief

A person claimed to weave “biblical principles” into his business. When his business went bad and the stock market dropped, he left his investors to pay his debts and his customers to pick up the pieces. 

Another person talked about integrating biblical principles into her business. When her business fell on hard times and the stock market dropped, so did her livelihood. But she did not run away. She stayed and worked out a plan to pay back her investors and to care for her customers. 

No one respects a person who talks a good game but fails to play by the rules. You will have a greater impact by what you do as opposed to what you say. Most people will forget 90 percent of what you say, but they will never forget how you live.

Dishonesty and Lack of Integrity

In a day when “the end justifies the means” has become an acceptable mode of operation, do you justify acts of dishonesty for valid reasons? Consider these examples:

  • overpromise and under deliver
  • exaggerate in job interviews to secure a job
  • overstate budgets to get what you want
  • understate values to get a better deal
  • cover up mistakes so you don’t lose a customer
  • call in sick because you don’t have more paid time off

Each of the above examples is an act of dishonesty which in the end reveals a lack of integrity. 

Losing the Ability to be Trusted

It may seem like people can gain power quickly and easily if they are willing to cut corners and act without the constraints of integrity. Dishonesty may provide instant gratification for a moment, but it never lasts. What have you gained if you lose your ability to be trusted? 

Maybe that is why Paul wrote to Timothy: 

Put these things into practice, devote yourself to them, so that all may see your progress. Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; continue in these things, for in doing this you will save both yourself and your hearers. –1 Timothy 4:15-16 

Paul tells Timothy to watch himself and his teaching. In other words, watch your life and your doctrine. Better yet, give careful attention to your behavior and belief. Make sure they match. Constantly examine yourself to see that your walk matches your talk and that your practice in life matches your profession of faith. 

Integrity is Forever

James Kouzes and Barry Posner in their book, Credibility: How Leaders Gain and Lose It, Why People Demand It, write, “If you step out into the unknown, the place to begin is with the exploration of the inner territory…”

If people are going to follow you whether into ministry, business, or the ballfield, they want to know if they can trust you. Do you keep your promises and follow through with your commitments? 

Brene Brown in Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead writes, “Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them.” 

Success will come and go, but integrity is forever. Integrity means doing the right thing at all times and in all circumstances, whether anyone is watching. It takes having the courage to do the right thing, no matter what the consequences. It takes years to build a reputation of integrity, but it takes a second to lose it. 

Integrity points to a consistency between what is inside and what is outside, between belief and behavior, your words and your ways, your attitudes and your actions, your values and your practice. 

Does Your Behavior Match Your Belief?

So, the question is, does your behavior match your belief? 

If the answer is “Yes”, every person who trusts you will spread the word that you are trustworthy, and the truth of your character will spread. The value of the trust others have in you is far beyond anything that can be measured.

At work, you will be trusted by colleagues and customers with more responsibility. In the home, you will be trusted by a spouse to be faithful and by your children to be present. It means you will have people willing to go the extra mile to help you because they know that recommending you to others will never bring damage to their own reputations.

When your behavior matches your belief, you will experience limitless opportunities and endless possibilities.

Maintain Your Integrity

So, as a leader, what do you do to maintain your integrity? You choose to be vulnerable and you develop your character.

First, choose to be vulnerable.

  • Integrity is a choice. Choose courage over comfort. Choose what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy. Choose to practice your values rather than simply professing them.
  • Be accountable. If you slip up, apologize. Make amends and make it right. It might be uncomfortable but being accountable will build trust and credibility. Don’t let one integrity slip alienate everyone around you.
  • Be transparent. Say what you mean, mean what you say and, of course, don’t be mean when you say it. Trust develops when people feel like they don’t need to keep up their guard.

Second, develop your character. 

  • Be kind to yourself. Stop the inner voice that is verbally and emotionally beating you up. Speak to yourself as you would speak to someone you love: your spouse, your child, your friend.
  • Be the person you want others to be. Modeling integrity and good character are much more effective than telling your team what to do. Showing that you’re always willing to make the difficult, courageous decisions build connection and trust.
  • Character is built one choice at a time. Integrity is all about consistency. It’s doing the right thing, for the right reason, even when no one is watching, even when you don’t want to.
  • Integrity comes from the Latin word “integer,” meaning whole. In every moment, and at every decision, lead from a place of wholeness. 

Do what is right and let the consequences follow. No one respects a person who talks a good game but fails to play by the rules. Remember, success will come and go, but integrity is forever.

  

 

Align Your Behaviors with Your Values

Does what you say you value align with your behavior? 

Consider these three scenarios:

  • You love your family and enjoy the time you share with them. Even though you work 60 to 70 hours a week, you enjoy your work. Because you want to spend more time with your spouse and your children, you attempt to balance family time with your work schedule, but neither are getting your total attention or your best life. You are feeling tense, guilty, and alone. 
  • You consider yourself to be a person of your word. Whether it is with family, friends, or colleagues, you feel a sense of satisfaction, peace, and fulfillment when you complete a project as promised on time. But, when you don’t complete the project, in the time frame you set for yourself, you feel uneasy and uncomfortable. Even when the people around you are not concerned about it, you still feel as if you have not kept your word. 
  • You are a person of faith, a Jesus follower, and you feel comfortable with talking about your religious beliefs. You attend a Sunday School class with people who are also persons of faith but who do not share your views on particular issues. You like sharing your opinions and beliefs, but every Sunday you feel the tension when the class discussion begins. You enjoy the people in the class, but you are losing your patience with being on guard and not offending anyone. 

When your decisions and behaviors do not align, you experience the tension of conflicting values. In the midst of such conflict, it is important to know and to understand who you are and why you think and feel the way you do. 

When your thinking and behaving match your values, life is good. You feel satisfied, content, and at peace. But when your thoughts and actions do not align with your values, you feel tentative, off-balance, and filled with inner turmoil.

Consider Romans 7

The Apostle Paul understood conflicting values. He wrote to the Roman church:

I can anticipate the response that is coming: “I know that all God’s commands are spiritual, but I’m not. Isn’t this also your experience?” Yes. I’m full of myself—after all, I’ve spent a long time in sin’s prison. What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So, if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary.

But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different. (Romans 7:14-25 The Message)

Psalm 15Paul’s Conflict

The conflict is between the will of God revealed in the Law, and the grace of God revealed in Jesus Christ. The Law is “spiritual,” but Paul says he is not. So, he is struggling between living the life God wants him to live and the life he is living. His conflict is not between his “lower” nature and his “higher” nature but is upon being good enough on his own and upon relying upon God’s grace to live as a follower of Jesus.

Today, this conflict could be expressed between following the “words” of the scripture or following the “Word” to whom the scriptures point. 

David, in Psalm 15, reveals the values in his life.

GOD, who gets invited to dinner at your place? How do we get on your guest list? Walk straight, act right, tell the truth. Don’t hurt your friend, don’t blame your neighbor; despise the despicable. Keep your word even when it costs you, make an honest living, never take a bribe. You’ll never get blacklisted if you live like this. (Psalm 15, The Message)

Notice that David said the person who enjoys the presence of God, who gets invited to dinner, “walks straight, acts right, tells the truth.” Because this person values truth in her heart, her words express truth. Because she values kindness, she “doesn’t blame her neighbor.” Because she values honesty, she keeps her word even when it hurts. Because she makes an honest living, “she never takes a bribe.” 

Regardless of what might happen around him, David could live with confidence that the right principles shaped his values and guided his decisions. That confidence gave him emotional and spiritual stability. It enabled him to be the person God could use for God’s glory. 

As you examine your own life, what values do you see shaping your behavior? Maybe a better question is, what values do you want to shape your behavior?

As with Paul, many of you hold certain values, but you live differently from what you say is important to you. Unless you are intentional in discovering and understanding your values you will be shaped by the values of others.

You can’t have a set of values for work, another set for home, and still another set for your friends or for the church. Your goal should be to completely integrate your values into all areas of your life. 

What Informs Your Life?

When you know and honor your values, life is good. So, here is what I want you to do. Decide now, this moment, to give yourself 30 minutes to reflect upon the following (10 minutes for each):

  1. Identify the times when you were your happiest.

  • What were you doing?
  • Who were the people with you?
  • What were you thinking and feeling?
  • What really made you happy?

  1. Identify the times when you were most proud

  • Why were you proud?
  • Who were the people who shared your pride?
  • What did you think and feel at the moment?
  • What gave you your feelings of pride?

  1. Identify the times when you were most fulfilled and satisfied

  • What need or desire was fulfilled?
  • How and why did the experience give you meaning?
  • Were there other people who shared the moments with you? Who?
  • What else added to your feelings and fulfillment?

To reflect upon these questions will give you insight into what informs your life. You will discover and affirm what is important in the way you live, work, and make decisions. 

What is important to you?

Glenn Adsit was a minister in China. Toward the end of his tenure, he and his family were held captive in their house by the government. They could not leave their house to go to the fruit market without soldiers accompanying them. Then one day, while under house arrest, several soldiers came to them and said, “You can return to America.”

Glenn and his family were celebrating when the soldiers said, “You can take two hundred pounds with you. We will be back tomorrow to get you.”

They had been there for years. How were they going to get everything down to two hundred pounds? They got the scales out and began to weigh everything. That is when the family argument began. There were two children, a wife, and a husband. What about this vase? We just bought the typewriter. What about my books? They weighed everything. Finally, they had two hundred pounds down to the ounce. 

The next day, the soldiers came to get them. “Ready to go?” they asked.

“Yes.”

“Did you weigh everything?”

“Yes.”

Then the soldiers asked, “Did you weigh the kids?”

Glen replied, “No, we didn’t.”

They said, “Weigh the kids.”

It was at that moment, that the typewriter, vase, and everything else was not important.

So, what is important to you? When you know and honor your values, life is good. Are you living the way you want to live? Is life turning out the way you want it to turn out? 

Today, you have the opportunity to do something about it. What one thing are you going to do? 

Know Your Strength

In a day of conflict and controversy, you want to work with family members, friends, neighbors, and colleagues, to face the conflict, to deal with change, and to make a meaningful difference in the world. 

You know that good leadership includes teaching and learning, building relationships and influencing people. At times you feel that it would be so much easier to exercise the power of your position, but you know your leadership is not about you or how you feel. In fact, you know you must be willing to give up who we are in order to become all that we can be. 

You want to reach your potential while developing the potential of the people you lead. But at the moment, you feel inadequate. 

  • You know what you want, the question is how do you get it?
  •  You know where you want to go, but how do you get there? 

Those are excellent questions. 

Helping You Help Others

I want you to know that you are not alone. I have been working to answer those questions most of my adult life. In fact, that is part of the reason I am writing to you today. I want to assist you in becoming the leader you have been created to be. I want you to be so effective in your leadership that you are helping others develop their potential as well. 

I want you to know that you have been created for this point and time in history. God has given you strengths and talents to face the conflicts, to bring about the change, to live into your potential as you develop the potential of others. Let’s look at the scripture for some insight. 

Address the Conflict

In 1 Corinthians 12 and 13, Paul is addressing conflict in the first-century church. He is writing to address the tension between people fascinated with spirituality and spiritual gifts. 

I want to focus on one part of his writing as a way of talking about your strengths and talents and upon how you might use your strengths and talents in addressing the issues you are facing. I want you to use your strengths and talents in the way God has created you to use them. 

  1. In his writing, Paul uses the term “one body with many members.” 

He is using a common metaphor to illustrate the nature of the church. 

The people in the Roman society understood “one body with many members,” as a way of keeping the lower social classes “in their place.” The thought and practice of the day, to keep the society healthy, was that everyone had their place. 

No Part is More Important than Another

Paul changes the use of the image to emphasize the equality of each member of the body. He is not saying “everyone has their place.” He is saying, no one part of the body is more important than any other part of the body.

When he talks of the body of Christ, he is not talking about a gathering of persons who call themselves Christians. He is talking about each member participating in the body of the living Christ. 

Being a member means being a functioning organ in a living body. Membership, in this sense, is not about having your name on a list and paying your dues. Being a member of the body of Christ is to be a living, contributing part of an organism, as opposed to being a member of an organization. 

This is why it is important that you know your strengths and talents, that you know the strengths and talents of the people you lead (family, colleagues, friends), and that you bring your strengths together with their strengths to meet your purpose. 

  1. In a living body, variety is necessary, not merely tolerated. 

Being a Jesus follower is a matter of interdependence, not independence. The “superior” members, either in spirituality or social and economic class, cannot say to the “inferior” members, “we can get along without you.” The same is true regarding the common folks who “have the spirit.” 

You cannot disregard the “high and mighty.” 

So, there is a variety of strengths and talents all for the same purpose. Paul is stressing a mutual dependence, which is again a modification of the self-sufficiency held in high regard in his day. 

  • How are you relating to the people around you? 
  • How are you allowing the strengths of others to support and complement your strengths? 

Remember, you are not in this life, work, or family alone. You are more who you were created to be when you are living in relationship with the people around you. 

  1. Leadership is not a position, but a God-given gift. 

Paul illustrates the need for all the strengths and talents given by God. Although he names a few of the gifts or strengths, he is not giving a precise or complete list. He is not ranking them in priority order. But he is giving an example of what is needed at that particular time for the building up of the church. 

There is a need for those who are sent out in God’s love and a need for those who can name current reality as well as hold a vision for the future. There is a need for teachers, healers, and caregivers. There is a need for persons who have the capacity to do concrete deeds of helpfulness to those in need. And there is the need for leaders. Not only persons with administrative and organizational competence, but the ability to offer wise counsel and guidance. 

You don’t have to hold an office or a position to be a person of wise counsel and guidance. There is not an election that makes you wise. Only becoming who God created you to be, makes you wise in your leadership.

  1. Love makes the difference 

Paul gives a concrete expression of the life of a Jesus follower in the midst of the conflicts of a first-century church. In I Corinthians 13, Paul states that 

“Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” 

Love is an integral part of the context of the conflict. Apart from this context, it is too easy to misunderstand its meaning and purpose. It is too easy to misuse its purpose for sentimentality. Paul wants you to know that love is the way of the Jesus follower. I want you to know that love is the way of a courageous leader. 

Love is the Way

Love is not itself a spiritual gift or strength superior to all other gifts or strengths. But it is the way of the Jesus follower. It guides the use and application of all your strengths. It should go without saying, your strengths, without love, amount to nothing. So, with love, you can use your strengths as God created you to use them. Unlike all the other gifts, which are temporary and provisional, love lasts into the dawning of the new day. Love is a gift of a leader. 

Love is working for the well-being of the people around you as well as your business, organization, family, or team. Ultimately, your leadership is not about you or how you feel. Your leadership is about developing the potential of the people you lead. 

Your Next Steps

So, here is what I want you to do this week:

  • If you have taken the CliftonStrengths assessment, look at your top 5 strengths. How are you using your strengths in your everyday life? If you are unsure, contact Sara Thomas. She will help understand your strengths so you can become the person and leader you have been created to be. You cannot become who you need to be until you become who God created you to be.
  • If you have not taken the CliftonStrengths assessment, then it is time that you did. You can learn your natural talents and maximize your potential. Click here to explore your strengths. Contact Sara if you’d like to get access for a group or team.
  • Make time to learn the strengths of the people around you. Help them discover and develop their strengths. Understanding and accepting their strengths helps you to see that each person is needed, that you can trust them to provide what you do not provide, and that you are humble enough to admit that you cannot know or do everything.
  • Make a conscious decision that you will lead with love. Discover the awesomeness of the human potential for which God has made you responsible.

By knowing your own strengths and the strengths of the people around you, you will become a courageous leader, who with colleagues, friends, and family, can face the conflicts, deal with the change, and make a meaningful difference in the community in which you live work and play.  

 

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Making a Lasting Impact

Do you remember the story of the princess who kissed the frog? On the surface, it appeared to be a simple kiss. But in reality, it was anything but simple. Regardless of what she thought, when her lips touched the frog, a transformation took place. The frog was transformed into a handsome prince. The prince was liberated to become all that he could be. 

Are you aware that you do the same for the people around you? I’m not talking about kissing frogs, but I am talking about helping people become all that they can be. Brene Brown writes, “A leader is anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes and has the courage to develop that potential.” She continues, “Leadership is not about titles or the corner office. It is about the willingness to step up, put yourself out there, and lean into courage.” 

You are in a unique position to make a lasting impact as you help people reach their full potential, as you help them become who God created them to be. 

Sending the 72

In Luke 10 there is a story of Jesus sending out seventy-two followers to make an impact upon their communities. When he sent them out, he did more than give them a message. He invested himself in their lives. Through instructing them on what to take and not take with them, training them on where to go and what to say, he set in their hearts and minds a purpose that led them into a plentiful harvest. 

When the seventy-two returned, they were filled with joy and shared stories of success. Not only did their leader, Jesus, listen to their reports, but he also praised them and their efforts. If I may say it this way, Jesus took responsibility for finding the potential in the seventy-two followers and stepped up to develop their potential. 

How are you discovering the potential in the people with whom you live, work, and associate? How are you developing their talents, skills, and helping them become who God created them to be? 

The Lasting Impact

Several years ago, a college professor had his sociology class conduct a study on the effects of poverty in the city. He sent his class into the inner city of Baltimore to get case histories of 200 young boys. They were asked to write an evaluation of each boy’s future as it related to their lives in the impoverished neighborhoods in which they lived. In every case, the students wrote something like, “He does not have a chance,” or “He doesn’t have a future.” 

Twenty-five years later another sociology professor came across the study. He had his students follow up on the project to see what had happened to those 200 boys. Except for 20 boys who had moved away or died, the students learned that 176 of the remaining 180 had achieved more than ordinary success as lawyers, doctors, and businessmen.

The professor was intrigued by the findings and decided to pursue the matter further. He wanted to find out what made the difference. What happened to move the boys to success? 

He found that even though it had been twenty-five years, all the men were still living in Baltimore. With the help of his students, the professor was able to ask each one, “How do you account for your success?’ In each case the reply came with passion, “There was a teacher who took a special interest in me.” 

Planting Hope

The professor, wanting to discover what had taken place, found that this teacher was still alive. He sought her out. When he found her, he asked to meet with her. In their conversation, he asked, “What did you do to pull these boys out of the conditions in which they were living? What did you do to lead them into their successful achievement?” 

Her eyes sparkled as she broke into a gentle smile. “It’s really very simple,” she said. “I planted hope in those boys. I loved them by showing them what was possible.”

How are you planting hope in the people around you? Show someone what is possible simply through love. How are you helping them become who God created them to be? 

Make a Lasting Impact

To make a lasting impact, here is what I want you to do. 

  1. Identify one or two persons in whom you are willing to invest your life.

    • God has invested great potential in you. Now you invest in others. Step up and put yourself out there as you come alongside the persons in whom you are invested. 

  2. Discover and develop the potential in their lives.

    • Develop a relationship of trust and compassion. Use Clifton Strengths to discover your strengths and talent. Use Bible studies to develop character and purpose. 

  3. Model integrity and love in all you do.

    • Paul wrote to Titus, “In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about you. Titus 2:7-8.

  4. Invite the people around you to invest their lives in one or two persons.

    • Mother Teresa might have said it best, “Spread love everywhere you go: first of all, in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next-door neighbor…Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting. 

You do not have to kiss a frog to make a lasting impact. But you do have to intentionally identify persons, develop relationships, model integrity, and love. Then, invite others to do the same. 

What greater gift could you give yourself, your family, your co-workers, your community, or the world? Your investment will make a lasting impact!