Read

John 8:31-38

You’ve been practicing naming your emotions and identifying the emotions of others. But what about the hard emotions? What do we do with the emotions that feel negative?

Did you read the Scripture for today? Jesus mentions a three-letter word we like to avoid in the church: sin.

Sin, simply put, is separation from God. Because it’s hard, difficult and challenging you may not want to talk about it. But here we are, together, talking about it. That’s the key to “paying attention” as an empathy skill: acknowledging and naming the negative.

Jesus names what is negative, but he doesn’t dwell on it. He doesn’t get emotionally hooked by what the Jews are saying. Jesus also doesn’t create more drama where there isn’t drama. He models paying attention beautifully.

Now before you say, “Yes, Jesus models paying attention so well I don’t think I can do it.”

Scapegoating on Jesus is still scapegoating, ok?

You can do this.

Here’s the thing: if you have a pattern of not paying attention to the negative, this will be challenging. Be kind to yourself and take a baby step. You just acknowledged you don’t like to deal with the negative. What a great place to start. Tomorrow, try to name what emotions are negative to you. If you need the help of a counselor or other helping professional to do this work, that’s a great next step too.

The point here is to acknowledge the negative but don’t get sucked into a death spiral of negative emotions. Be mindful and take good care. Both are needed. Too much negative and you’re wallowing. Too much positive and we seem unreal. Ignore the negative, you’re not dealing with reality either. Give too much credit to the positive, yes, you guessed it, it’s not reality either. It takes work to not suppress or exaggerate your emotions. Live with that challenge today. Jesus is our example.

Reflect

What negative or positive emotions do you tend to suppress and exaggerate?

Respond

Today, be mindful of the emotions you identified in the “reflect” section. Pay attention to how these emotions come up in your life, the lives of others, and even in the media.

Pray

Read

John 8:1-11

Empathy is critical in any organization, including the church, families, and businesses. When trust and connection are needed, empathy skills are essential.

While I’ve been trying to think of an organization where trust and connection are NOT needed, I can’t come up with one. From pharmacies and doctors to law offices and construction sites, trust and connection are needed for groups of people to be successful in their daily tasks.

Now put yourself with the scribes, Pharisees, the woman, and Jesus who appear in this passage. Who do you have empathy for in this passage?

Before you jump too quickly to the woman, let’s get clear on what empathy is not:

– It’s not giving advice, sympathy, judgment disguised as concern.

– It is also not sympathy.

When we empathize, we connect with the emotions another person is experiencing, not the experience. So while I have not experienced the death of a child, I can empathize with the feeling of grief, loneliness, and overwhelm a parent feels when facing this reality.

Likewise, you may not have committed adultery, but can you empathize with how the woman in this scripture passage must have felt? Take a look at this core list of emotions before responding. (You’ll find the list here.)

Maybe she was feeling embarrassment, fear, humiliation, hurt, judgment, lonely, regret, sad, shame, worry, overwhelm, or just plain vulnerable.

Have you ever experienced those feelings?

Sure you have.

That’s empathy.

It’s also the first skill of practicing empathy: perspective-taking. We’ll explore the other four skills of practicing empathy in the coming days.

As a result, you have the opportunity to empathize not only with the woman in this scripture but with Jesus and the Scribes and Pharisees.

Try it for yourself.

Reflect

What emotions might Jesus experience at this moment? What emotions might the scribes and Pharisees experience at this moment? Use the List of Core Emotions to help guide you.

Respond

This week, practice empathy. Return to your call to courage and note the emotions emerge when you consider stepping into your “arena.” Return to week 1 if you need a reminder about the arena.

Pray

Wholehearted Disciple

Each Friday we’ll pause to consider the previous five days, integrating what we’re learning and how we’re seeing Jesus with three questions. As you consider the six myths of vulnerability and how the scripture passages brought these myths to light, respond to the following questions:

Thoughts

What are you thinking as a result of what you read, reflected and responded to each day? Specifically, what are you thinking about the emotions you were asked to consider this week?

Feelings

What are you feeling as a result of what you read, reflected and responded to each day? Specifically, what are you feeling about the emotions you were asked to consider this week?

Actions

What are you doing as a result of what you read, reflected and responded to each day? Specifically, what are you doing about the emotions you were asked to consider this week?

Where is there overlap in your answers? Wholehearted disciples practice uniting what they think, feel, and do. If you’re thoughts, actions, and feelings are not in alignment with one another, keep practicing! You’re on a journey of following Jesus.

What emotion(s) do you need embrace more in your thinking? What emotions do you suppress  feeling? What emotions do you tend to act out in your behavior? (As a reminder, emotions don’t dictate your actions.)

Want to Dig Deeper? – Join the practice of TGIF

• Who or what are you trusting?
• For whom or what are you grateful?
• Who or what is inspiring you?
• How are you practicing faith?