You Are a Source of Hope

As I reflect on the events of the past couple of weeks, I don’t know how much more I can take. It has been a tough couple of weeks. 

Over 200,000 people have died from coronavirus. The latest word from the CDC is, we could reach 300,000 or more deaths by the first of the year. 

Lord have mercy. 

The grand jury decision not to charge anyone for the death of Breonna Taylor. We are not only continuing to scoff at the worth of black lives but continue to maintain dysfunctional systems that stand in the way of dignity and healing. 

Lord have mercy.

With the death of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, our country has lost another champion of human rights. Just as John Lewis helped us see that the discrimination on the basis of race was not an abstract ideal of equality, Justice Ginsburg helped us see that discrimination on the basis of gender was not about an abstract ideal of equality. Liberty and justice for all is a real consequence for all persons, regardless of race or gender. 

Lord have mercy.   

The inflammatory statements made by political leaders in a time when we need leaders to pull together to overcome the pandemics of racism and coronavirus is just beyond my imagination. How much more are we going to have to endure? 

Lord have mercy. 

Your Leadership

My greatest relief over the past two weeks as been your steady and consistent leadership. I have seen how you have been navigating the converging and conflicting values of this time. I have experienced your stability as people have trusted you to lead them through these days of uncertainty and chaos. And even when there has been disagreement, I have heard of your compassion and care. I want you to know that you have been a source of hope for me. 

As tough as the past couple of weeks have been, I am writing to encourage you to not give up.  We are in the middle of a very crucial time in our history.  Your leadership is needed more today than ever before.  I know that sounds dramatic, but as I have reflected, this is what is needed: 

1. Continue to encourage people to pay attention to the protocol of wearing masks and social distancing. 

We have all grown weary of this pandemic, but now is not the time to let down. People want things to be “normal.” You already know, we are not going back to the way things were before the pandemic. Encourage people to keep going and to not give up.  There will be an end. 

We know that wearing masks in public, like church buildings, helps in slowing the spread of the virus. We know that keeping the number of people gathering in groups to a minimum helps to slow the spread of the virus. I miss the personal contact, the singing of hymns, and gathering together to pray and to share other signs of care, but now is not the time to let down. Continue assisting people to make the decisions they need to make to keep themselves and everyone around them safe and healthy.

2. Continue to learn about and to practice anti-racism. 

The protests and demonstrations that are taking place across the country might be frightening and, frankly, unnecessary to some people. What is frightening to me is that almost 20% of practicing Christians say race is not a problem in the United States. According to Barna research, this is an 8% increase over 2019. Now is the time to learn more about and to practice anti-racism. 

Let me try to put in perspective. This year, the killings of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, and Breonna Taylor and the shooting of Jacob Blake have opened the door for conversations about racial justice. We have seen and experienced marches and demonstrations, a players’ strike in the NBA and WNBA, professional tennis players focusing upon justice, and new policies concerning issues related to Confederate symbols. 

Books on anti-racism have risen to top of the best-seller lists, and leaders in government, business and religion have examined their actions and influence.  With all these things and more, we might assume that the events of 2020 have increased our awareness of racial injustice and motivated us to do something about it.

But new Barna research suggests that the events over the past year have brought some clarity to how we think about racial injustice but has not necessarily helped us see the issue as important or to identify our role in it. In fact, according to Barna, within the Christian church, there is a sense that people are doubling down on their views of race. 

Now, like never before, is the time to learn about, teach, and practice anti-racism. Let me put it another way. Now is the time to “love your neighbor.” Now is the time to “love as you have been loved.” Now is the time to “welcome one another as God in Christ has welcomed you.” So, don’t give up. Take advantage of this opportunity to help the people entrusted to your care to become the people God has created them to be. 

3. Vote and get others to vote. 

Help people in your community to register to vote if they are not registered. Organize a group of people in your congregation to provide transportation for persons to get to the polls on election day. Assist those who are afraid to be out in public to vote by using an absentee ballot.  This might not seem like a spiritual exercise, but the dignity and worth of people who are affected by our votes are at the center of our spirituality.

Bring Hope

I am sure you are already thinking of other ways to bring hope into the lives of the people entrusted to your care. Now is the time to step up and lead.  It is in times like these that people need leaders they can trust, leaders of compassion and stability, and leaders that can offer hope of better and greater days ahead.

I am grateful for your leadership and for the ways you encourage me and offer me hope. May we, together, lead the people entrusted to us into God’s love in the days ahead. When Sara Thomas or I can be of encouragement or help to you, contact us at connect@transformingmission.org. Sara and I are ready to assist you in becoming the leader you are created to be. Don’t hesitate to call upon us as we seek to assist you in deepening your relationship with Christ, the church, and your community.

, , ,

You Have What It Takes: 5 Gifts Every Leader Can Claim

Leadership is about inspiring and empowering people to become who they were created to be.  It is about relating and connecting in such a way that the world is impacted and changed for good. 

You have what it takes to be a leader! Facing the reality of the pandemic, you continue to stepping in, create strategies, and lead. You are engaging the people entrusted to your care in new ways of being and doing, and you are using your God-given talents, what you have learned, and the resources on hand to get face what you feel you are not equipped to do. 

Let me remind you what I have seen over the past several months. I have seen you as:

A compassionate leader. 

You are providing for the well-being of the people you are leading. It has not always been easy, but you are nurturing them to their full potential. You are intentionally developing authentic relationships for the purpose of helping people become who they were created to be. 

A hope-filled leader. 

You are holding before the people a picture of what is next. You’re empowering them to look beyond the darkness of today’s challenges and to see the light, God’s light, shining brightly upon a new day. You are leading them toward the future, adjusting and adapting to the changing landscape.  

A stabilizing leader. 

You are modeling integrity and consistency. You are addressing the fears of the people by leading with confidence and humility.  With competence, you are helping people name and understand the challenges of the future. You are using insight and wisdom from past experiences to show people how they can and will be part of the future.  

Leading with Self-Doubt

You have what it takes to be a leader, yet you are filled with self-doubt.  Because this is not what you were trained to, you are feeling tentative and a bit insecure. And because you don’t feel you are living up to expectations, you are lonely and somewhat isolated. This is not what you envisioned ministry to be and, at the very least, what you would be doing.  

What Do You Have Left?

I recently read a story of Itzhak Perlman. At age 75, he is known as one of the finest violists of our time. You might already know that as a child, he contracted polio. Today, he wears braces on both legs, and walks with the aid of two crutches.

Several years ago, while he was playing at the Lincoln Center in Washington, D.C., one of his violin strings broke. A gasp could be heard throughout the Center. The conductor as well as the audience knew that it is impossible to play a symphonic work with just three strings. But Perlman refused to stop and signaled the conductor to continue.

People reported that they could see him changing and recomposing the piece in his head. When he finished, there was absolute silence in the room.  And then, the audience and the orchestra jumped to their feet, cheering and applauding. They had experienced an artist at work, and they were appreciative.

Perlman smiled, wiped the sweat from his brow, and raised his bow to quiet the audience.  And then he said, “You know, sometimes it is the artist’s task to find out how much music you can still make with what you have left.”

You Are Gifted to Lead

You have been created and gifted to lead for this very time and place in history. If I may continue with this metaphor, God has put this incredible score in front of you. It is a masterpiece titled “Your Life.” You have what it takes to be a leader. Sometimes you feel a few strings short, but how much music can you make with what you have left?  If God has gifted you, what are doing with what you have been given?  

What Will You Do With What You’ve Been Given?

In Matthew 25:14-30, Jesus tells of three servants who are given responsibility for the master’s property. Each is given a different responsibility. In other words, no one was given a complete set of strings.

When the master returned, two of the servants said, “We played the best we could with what we had.” The master says, “Well done, good and faithful servants, you’ve been faithful in a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.”

The third servant, who had convinced himself that he was “just a one string fiddler,” said to the master, “Look! I didn’t break any more strings.”

The problem is the music doesn’t depend on what you have. The music depends on what you do with what you have. And if you do nothing…?

Use your Gifts

God has gifted you and wants you to use your gifts, talents, strengths to lead God’s people through the confusion and chaos of the days in which we live. You have what it takes to lead.

Even though you might not in the best situation or have a lot of resources. Even though the work might be hard and exhausting, and the people are unkind and hurtful, you are gifted for this time. The question is “what will you do with what you have been given?”

As a leader, gifted for this time, focus upon the following:  

1. Mission

Regardless of the situation or the circumstances, the mission remains the same. With the mission in mind, lead with conviction. Be clear about where you are going. When you are clear regarding your direction, you can focus upon the people entrusted to your care. It is your focus that helps instill confidence and brings stability.  

2. Opportunity

Now is the time to deepen your relationship with God and to understand yourself. When you are in tune with God and with yourself, you can touch people in beautiful ways.

Let’s use one more violin illustration. A violin is a musical instrument that is both sensitive and strong.  It is sensitive in that it is affected by the slightest touch, and it is strong because its strings can withstand a good deal of pressure  A violin must be continually and properly tuned to be played well, for if it is not, even the finest violinist cannot call forth beautiful music from it. It is when you are in tune with yourself that God makes the greatest music.   

3. People

Build relationships with the people entrusted to your care. Be genuinely interested in them. Help them to discover how God has gifted them. As you develop your relationships, you will create a healthy environment of trust where everyone is supported, encouraged, and celebrated. I know you don’t have to be reminded, but you are in the people business. The best out who and what you have.

4. Being generous

Extend the most generous interpretation possible to the intentions, words, and actions of others. Assume the best of others. Give them the benefit of the doubt. When you are generous with others, they will be generous with you.

When in doubt, seek to understand and be slow to judge. Remember, people can only act upon what they know. Don’t hold them responsible for what they don’t know.

Brene Brown writes, “Our relationship is only trusting if you can assume the most generous thing about my words, intentions, and behaviors and then check in with me.” Be generous. Assume people are doing the best they can with what they know. 

5. Navigating the challenges

With your eyes on the mission, deepening your relationship with God, focusing upon the gifts of others, and being generous with those who seem slow coming around, move forward with confidence and grace.

Adapt to unexpected changes, face the unanticipated obstacles, and depend upon the strengths and gifts of others to follow through to reach the goal. Because you have developed your relationships upon trust and credibility, you have what is needed to complete the journey.

Your Next Step

In the words of Perlman, “Sometimes it is the artist’s task to find out how much music you can still make with what you have left.” You have everything needed to make the impact people want and need in their lives and in the world. So, what are you going to do about it?

Take a moment to think of the people entrusted to your care. Every day this week, get one or two of them in mind and ask yourself “What is one thing I can do today to let this person know how much I appreciate being their leader?

When you start sharing your appreciation, listen closely. You will begin to hear that you have what it takes to be a leader. 

When you need and want help, contact us at connect@transformingmission.org. Sara Thomas and I (Tim Bias) are ready to assist you in becoming the leader you are created to be. We will assist you in deepening your relationship with Christ, the church, and your community.

,

Sending New Orders

Do you remember those old-world maps in textbooks? They were created when a lot of the world was still unexplored. When the mapmakers reached the edge of what had been explored, they drew a line and showed dragons and monsters beyond it. This was their way of identifying uncharted territory. 

There is a story of a first century Roman commander who had to lead his troops beyond the line on the map and into “dragon” territory. He sent a messenger back to Rome with the message, “Send new orders! We have marched off the map!”

Have You Marched Off the Map?

As a leader, you might be feeling you have marched off the map. 

You are leading where you have not led before. The people entrusted to your care are looking for peace and security as you are looking for direction in the midst of change and chaos. You might very well be thinking, “Send new orders! We have marched off the map!”

I understand your anxiety.  I have been there several times over my ministry.  Whether it was in the uncertainty of leading a congregation through the anxiety and fear of 9/11 or in forming a new ministry team, experiencing the rockiness of new relationships and the storminess of change. When I was able to adapt to the changes and normalize the new ways of relating and living, I was able to be the leader I needed to be for that time and place.

The Messy Middle 

Brene Brown says, “The middle is messy but it is where the magic happens.” Friends, we are in the middle of converging pandemics. It is like you have entered a cave.  It is dark.  So dark that you can’t see your hand in front of your face.  You want to turn around and go back, but you are too far to turn around, but you are not close enough to the end to see the light.  You feel as if you are at the point of no return. You hear voices, conflicting voices, calling out advice, direction, opinions, hope, and despair. All you want is to get through and to the end of the cave. “Send new orders.  We have marched off the map.”

Regarding the Covid-19 pandemic, we do not know how long it will last or how far we must go get to the end. We are six months into this weird way of living. Every day we experience attempts to go back to what we say is normal, whether it is with schools opening, work outside of home, looking for work, playing football, childcare, worshipping in the sanctuary, singing hymns, shaking hands, the list goes on.


In the Messiness, We Learn New Ways

The people around us are trying to override what we know we need to do to contain the virus. We are in the midst of some messiness. If we are not careful, we will make bad decisions because we lack the willpower to stay the course. 

We want things the way they were. Yet, it is in this messiness that we learn new ways, adapt to new situations, discover new relationships, and different ways of living. Regardless of how long it takes, there will be an end to the pandemic.  It is how we adapt and what we learn in the middle that is important today. “Send new orders. We have marched off the map.”

There is No Turning Back

Regarding the racial reckoning pandemic, there is no turning back. We don’t know what it will look like, but we do know that it is long overdue, and it is the right thing to do. It has taken us too long to name and recognize the pain and injustice of racism. 

It has taken us too long to admit our participation in the racist ideas and policies from which we benefit. We are in the midst of some messiness. 

If we are not careful, we will convince ourselves not to talk about our racism, not to not learn about our biases, not recognize our privilege, and again, do nothing about it. We want things the way they were.

Yet, to go back is not acceptable. How long we have yearned for and imagined love and justice. And how many times have we failed to make it a reality. It is messy and hard work, but it is necessary work.  In the messiness we will become the people God created us to be. “Send new orders. We have marched off the map.”  

We Are Resurrection People

We are experiencing the messiness in our own denomination. We don’t know what the future holds, yet the one thing we all have in common is the resurrection.

As people of the resurrection, people of hope, our life together does not depend upon agreement.  It depends upon love and forgiveness. Reinhold Niebuhr wrote, “Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime; therefore, we must be saved by hope. Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; therefore, we must be saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore, we must be saved by love.” 

The writer of 1 John wrote, “See what kind of love the Father has given to us in that we should be called God’s children, and that is what we are! Dear friends, now we are God’s children, and it hasn’t yet appeared what we will be. (1 John 3:1-2 CEB).  

Navigate Uncharted Territory

We are in the messiness of becoming who God has created us to be. We don’t know how we will turn out, but we do know that as God’s children, we will be far more wonderful than we can imagine. 

Even though you are in uncharted territory, there are some things that have not changed. You can depend upon these things to get you through to the end. Even though you might feel you need new orders, as a leader, you need the following:   

1. Trust in God

A deep and abiding faith that shapes your relationships, assumptions, attitudes, and actions. This trust has nothing to do with politics or positions on issues.  This trust is experienced and anchored in the love of God and is expressed and demonstrated in loving others, just as God in Christ has loved you.

2. Focus upon Purpose

A clear and intentional focus upon getting through the messiness. You might not know how long you are in this middle, but you do know there is an end to the messiness. Your focus upon purpose will allow you to adapt to what you can’t change and learn to change what you can.

3. Vulnerability

You have not been this way before.  To lead through the messiness, you will stumble and make mistakes. When that happens, you get back up, dust yourself off, and continue through to the end. Your trust in God and focus on purpose will keep you moving toward what God has is store for you.

4. Authentic Relationships

You are not alone in this messiness. You are surrounded by people who are not only depending upon you but who love you. Don’t miss out on the opportunity to have your life enriched by the people God puts into your life. Each person has something to offer to you, as well you to them, to help you become more who God created you to be. So, join hands, lock arms (both strange images in a time of social distancing), and become a force of love and justice. Experience God’s love and acceptance in and through those relationships.

5. Generosity

This generosity is to love others as you have been loved. In these times of anxiety and stress, give people the benefit of the doubt, even if they are not doing the same to you.  You don’t love people because they love you.  You love because God loves you. Be as generous with people as God has been with you. 

You Will Persevere

No matter how messy life becomes, if you live into these five things, you will persevere to the end. So, what are your new orders? Keep going! Don’t give up! You are not alone! You are a beloved child of God. Keep going. God is not finished with you or your leadership. Don’t give up!

Sonya Renee Taylor writes, “We will not go back to normal. Normal never was. Our pre-corona existence was not normal other than we normalize greed, inequity, exhaustion, depletion, extraction, disconnection, confusion, rage, hoarding, hate, and lack. We should not long to return my friends. We are being given the opportunity to stitch a new garment. One that fits all of humanity and nature.”   

Don’t Give Up! Keep Going!

You might feel like you have marched off the map, but you are about to discover a whole new life of love and justice. Don’t give up! Keep going! Perfect love cast out fear! Don’t give up! 

Remember, Sara Thomas and I (Tim Bias) are available to assist you and your congregation in the midst of the messiness. Don’t hesitate to call upon us as we seek to assist you in deepening your relationship with Christ, the church, and your community.

, , ,

Are You Frustrated?

All leaders experience moments of frustration. Whether it is from not knowing how to handle a certain crisis or from unreasonable expectations, we all experience frustration from time to time. When perspectives clash, conversations grow tense, and people become annoyed, frustration levels rise. 

As a leader, you don’t want to be the source of frustration, but the political climate, differing opinions, and general weariness can lead you to wish you could lash out and say exactly what you are thinking.

Frustrations are a Part of Life

As you know, frustration is a part of life.  There are simple frustrations. I can get frustrated when I go to the grocery store, pull into the parking lot, and several spaces have grocery carts in them. I immediately say to myself, “How tough is it to return a grocery cart to the place it belongs? How rude to push the cart into an empty parking space and drive off.” Through my frustration I have learned that I do not like to be inconvenienced.

There are more complicated frustrations. I get frustrated when, during a pandemic, people want to politicize wearing a mask, or during a time for learning and conversation about racism, people get defensive and dismissive. How difficult is it to “love your neighbor as yourself?” It is frustrating to think that people who call themselves followers of Jesus have difficulty showing their love and care for the people around them. Through my frustration I have learned I have little tolerance for those who have little tolerance.

What Frustrates You? 

You might think my examples are silly, but it is important as a leader to know what frustrates you and what you do to frustrate others. When you experience frustration, it is a time to stop and ask yourself “why am I frustrated?”. Once you understand your frustrations, you can gain a greater understanding of your frustrating behavior. It is only in facing your frustrations that you can begin to change your behavior.

I’m sure you don’t frustrate people intentionally, but here are several behaviors that frustrate the people you love and serve:

Lack of integrity 

It can be as simple as not following through on what you say you will do. You are only as good as your word. There is nothing more frustrating than someone saying one thing and doing another. A sure path to frustration, mistrust, and disrespect is not backing up your promises with action.

Indecisive decision making

People thrive on action and progress. They are frustrated when they can’t move forward because you can’t make a decision. Trust your judgement. You have the education and experience to make the necessary decisions. You frustrate people when you can’t make up your mind.

Lack of vulnerability

You frustrate people when you have the attitude that you know more than anyone else. When you have to be right by making other people wrong, you shut down conversations and damage relationships. The people avoid discussing anything important with you. It’s okay to be vulnerable. Keep an open mind and heart. Take the ideas, thoughts and perspective of others as seriously as you want them to take yours. 

Blaming others for your mistakes

You are also frustrating when you refuse to be accountable or responsible for your mistakes. You damage relationships, undermine trust, and make people angry. People become fearful of being blamed. They stay in the background and often refuse to participate. Learn to take the blame and give the credit.

Self-preservation

When you are looking out only for yourself, you are not only a source of frustration, but you are perceived as self-centered and untrustworthy. You are in leadership to love and serve the people entrusted to your care.

Constant complaining

It is frustrating to work with people who are always complaining. Things do go wrong, and everyone complains occasionally, but non stop griping sucks all the energy and enthusiasm out of any group. Keep in mind that people follow your lead. Your attitude is contagious.

Now that you know how you might frustrate others, let’s look at how you can lead with courage and confidence. All leaders experience frustration, but you can lead by being a calm presence and by responding with care and kindness. Below are five characteristics of effective leaders in regard to controlling frustration. I am sure you already use some of these ideas and techniques.

Attributes of Effective Leaders

As an effective leader, you control your frustration, because you are:

Self-aware

You pause and reflect. You are aware of your emotions as well as the emotions of others. Instead of saying the first thing that comes to mind, you think through what needs to be said. Then, even if you need to express anger, you can do so calmly and reasonably. Controlling your emotions is a part of effective leadership, especially in the midst of change.

Aware of others

Things never happen in a vacuum. When you know the context of a frustrating behavior or a frustrating situation, you can resolve it. The more closely you observe the people around you and their intentions, the more you understand them and the bigger picture.

Curious

You ask questions for clarity and dig deeper for understanding. You know that you can find a solution to any frustration by tracing it back to its source. You don’t settle for superficial explanations but keep digging to find the underlying cause.

Listening

You know how to let people speak without letting your emotions get in the way. You give the other person the opportunity to say what they need to say. It can be hard to do when you want to interrupt, to defend yourself or just walk away. You stop and listen. You let them vent and get it out of their system so, together, you can start working toward a solution.

Responding and not reacting

It is easy to make a “mountain out of a molehill.” You control your own frustrations so that you don’t add to an already rising frustration level. Once you have responded with calm and coolness, it is easier to keep frustrations under control. You are vulnerable and transparent. You focus on the parts of the frustration that are in your control or influence. You don’t make false promises of change. 

Managing Frustration

Controlling frustration is a demanding skill. We admire the people who can keep their cool in tense situations. It takes practice. And sometimes it feels more like on the job training.

So, this week, try an experiment. 

Connect with a trusted friend and talk about what frustrates you. Then ask this question, “What do I do that is annoying or frustrating to others?” Practice listening. Don’t be defensive. This is not an easy exercise. Even if you get frustrated you will become a better person and a more effective leader.

Remember, Sara Thomas and I (Tom Bias) are available to assist you and your congregation in the midst of your frustration. Don’t hesitate to call upon us as we seek to assist you in deepening your relationship with Christ, the church, and your community.

I’ll be frustrated if you don’t!