Grounded Confidence

Read

Matthew 16:13-17

“Who do you say that I am?” – Jesus

Let’s try an experiment in curiosity. If Jesus approached you and asked, “Who do you say that I am?” how would you respond?

Perhaps you’d say, “Jesus is the Son of God. The Messiah. The chosen one.”

“Who do you say that I am?”

Light of the world. My savior and friend.

“Who do you say that I am?”

Emmanuel. God with us.

“Who do you say that I am?”

The Alpha and Omega.

“Who do you say that I am?” Jesus asks.

The bread of life.

The good shepherd.

The resurrection and the life.

The way, the truth, and the life.

The true vine.

Who do you say that I am?

This time answer it in your own words. Who is Jesus to you?

It’s about practicing curiosity. Be reminded, “Curiosity is an act of vulnerability and courage.”2

Throughout the past four weeks, you’ve been exploring many of the skills needed to rumble with vulnerability. This week, we’re uniting rumbling with vulnerability, curiosity, and practice into what is called grounded confidence.

Stay curious today and throughout the week. And remember, God is with you.

Reflect

How would you respond if Jesus asked you, “Who do you say that I am?” Stay curious and answer that as many times as you can. Then, answer it again.

Respond

Practice curiosity today. Ask questions with love. Explore the unknown and get curious about your impulses.

Pray

Jesus, you are the light of the world, the alpha and omega, the Great I AM. When I consider all the ways you meet me where I am and love me for who I am, I am humbled. Thank you for the wonder, awe, and simplicity of your abiding presence…Especially when I’m rumbling with vulnerability with you and others. Amen.

Return

Use a notebook to record your responses. Share your celebrations in the comments below.

Consider your thoughts, feelings and actions from today. Together, what do your thoughts, feelings, and actions tell you about who Jesus is to you?

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.

Grounded Confidence Necessitates Practice

Read

Matthew 18:1-5

Questions are one of the surprises that can appear as we read the scriptures. Questions are a part of our faith.

Jesus asks the disciples questions. Jesus asks crowds questions. Jesus even speaks to the people who are wanting to put him to death in a questioning tone. And the disciples also ask Jesus questions.

The passage today, Jesus offers his response to the question, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

I can see the disciples sitting on the edge of their seats waiting for Jesus to look at them. Instead, Jesus invites a child into his midst.

And the disciples are dumbfounded.

The disciples are confused, “Become like a child, Jesus?! We’ve spent our whole lives growing up! What in the world are you talking about? Have you lost your mind?”

(If you’ve never rumbled with vulnerability with Jesus, I recognize that last statement may read a bit like blasphemy. After all, how could Jesus lose His mind?)

That’s why we need rumble tools. Before I share a few tools, let me remind you of the journey you’ve been on with Jesus and courage.

You named your call to courage and explored what ordinary courage is all about (week 1). Then, you learned the definition of vulnerability and how following Jesus takes courage (week 2). You explored the difference between armored and daring discipleship (week 3) and learned about the empathy skills and your emotions (week 4).

Now, let’s add a tool to your toolbox. (See below) These rumble starters are intended to help you lean into vulnerability and stay curious – even when conversations start to get messy.

I imagine the disciples and Jesus seated on the floor eating dinner that night and one of them says, “Jesus, help me understand…when you invited us to become like children, what does that mean? What does it look like? How can we do that?”

Jesus, laughing, might have said, “Do I need to go over this again? I will. I can. I’m not asking you to transport back in time. Stop thinking literally. I’m asking you to have the curiosity, compassion, joy, and vulnerability of a child.”

“But, Jesus, there are laws we need to follow. How can we NOT be literal?” Matthew interjects.

“That’s a whole different conversation,” Jesus offers.

Then Jesus continues, “We’ll have plenty of time together to keep practicing the faith, learning a new way. For tonight, can we simply stay curious about what the LORD is doing in our midst?”

The twelve nod in agreement. They get it. Their nods are not a polite-go-with-the-crowd type affirmation. They are WITH Jesus. Just then, Matthew has to break the silence and says,

“Oh. Yes, Jesus. We can do that.”

Judas, “Sorry, Jesus. I didn’t mean to start a conversation so late. I misunderstood.”

“Thanks for clearing that up,” said James.

Their conversation turns to celebration about what the LORD is doing. They’re so curious to hear the stories of what is happening, their meal lasts late into the night.

All that’s left for Jesus to do is go off on his own and pray.

Reflect

What would rumbling with vulnerability look like for you and Jesus? Refer to the rumble starters below.

Respond

Use the rumble starters to begin a conversation with Jesus or another person. Here are a few examples to help you get started:

Jesus, I’m wondering…How does your love multiply more when it is shared?

Jesus, help me understand…What happened to my dog when she died?

Walk me through, what can I do to help our friend who is hurting/has cancer/going through a divorce?

I’m wondering…What do I say to my neighbor who is moving?

Pray

Jesus, thank you for receiving my questions. I am grateful you hold the space for curiosity and wonder. Guide me as I seek to be still enough to hear you through others and bold enough to respond. Amen.

Return

Use a notebook to record your responses. Share your celebrations in the comments below.

What rumble starter did you use today? If you didn’t use one, it’s OK. Reflect on your conversations and consider where a rumble starter may have helped you stay curious. You’ll find the Rumble Starters below.

 

Rumble Starters

Add these rumble starters1 to your toolkit.

When you recognize there’s a need to have a tough conversation, ask yourself which statement can help you get started.

When you’re ready to show up with your heart open to have an honest, faithful conversation, use these rumble starters to remain curious and present.

Finally, hold these rumble starters close throughout the conversation. They’ll help you stay curious in the midst of your conversation.

The story I’m making up is…

I’m curious about…

Tell me more…

That’s not my experience…

I’m wondering…

Help me understand…

Walk me through…

We’re both dug in. Tell me about your passion around this.

Tell me why this doesn’t fit/work for you.

I’m working from these assumptions, what about you?

What problem are we trying to solve?

What other questions can you ask to stay curious?

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.

Are you a curious disciple?

Read

Acts 17:19-21

Imagine hearing the good news of Jesus for the first time. You’ve heard about Jesus, born in Bethlehem to Mary and Joseph. But you’re also hearing people talk about Jesus as the Son of God. Those two “identities” don’t seem to make logical sense. You find yourself thinking, “Wait. What? How can this be? (Yes, Jesus’ mom, Mary, asked the same thing. Have a look at Luke 1:34.)

Imagine trying to wrap your head around the reality of Jesus’ humanity and divinity for the first time. Perhaps you remember your own journey trying to grapple with this reality. You had to get curious.

Here’s the thing: faith necessitates curiosity.

Someone shares something with you about Jesus. From the morsel of information they shared, you get curious. Perhaps a conversation unfolds something like this:

Wait, people were jailed for sharing their faith? Yes.

And crowds followed Jesus wherever he went? Yes.

And people wanted to kill him? Yes, and they did.

But…how does a dead guy become the Savior?

Resurrection.

So they resuscitated Jesus? Well, not exactly. Resurrection is new life.

However that conversation may unfold, you’ve learned something that may not quite add up when you think logically. But the presence, the power, and the purpose of Jesus are pointing to something beyond logic. There is only one thing you CAN do. Get curious.

Grounded confidence takes learning the skills of rumbling with vulnerability, getting curious and practice. Today, practice curiosity.

Reflect

What is one thing you’d love to talk to Jesus about? Go ahead…have that conversation. Talk to Jesus in prayer.

Respond

Today, get curious. Ask questions of the people you interact with today. Remember, practicing curiosity is not an interrogation. Speak with grace as you get curious.

Pray

Jesus, thank you for receiving my questions with grace. Thank you for reminding me that your power is not diminished by my curiosity. I offer myself to you today as one who is amazed, humbled, and grateful for your abiding presence in the midst of my never-ending questions. Amen.

Return

Use a notebook to record your responses. Share your celebrations in the comments below.

What did you do today to practice curiosity with others? With Jesus? What will you do differently tomorrow?

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.

Practice

Read

Luke 11:1-4

The disciples want to learn to pray from their Master, Jesus. The prayer we know as the Lord’s Prayer is the prayer Jesus teaches the disciples to pray.

While the Lord’s Prayer is a familiar prayer to many, at one time you had to learn it. You stumbled over the words. You wondered if it was trespasses or debts.

You may have even prayed it out loud in a Roman Catholic context and realized their tradition does not include “for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.” Yes, I’m speaking from experience. Of all the times and places it could have happened – this protestant pastor was attending a Roman Catholic funeral mass. It was another context to practice, stay curious, and receive the grace of the people around me.

Just like me, you practice the faith.

The more you practice the faith, the more you learn about Jesus and ourselves. The more you learn, the more curious you get. The more curious you get, the more you’ll need to practice rumbling with vulnerability. And the more you practice rumbling with vulnerability, the more courageous you become.

That’s the journey of a courageous disciple.

There’s one more thing. You never graduate from practice. Ask any professional athlete what they still spend time focusing upon each day. They’ll tell you the fundamental skills of their sport and basic physical & mental training.

Each of these is an example of why we practice prayer. It’s also why we practice following Jesus. Yes, you guessed it, you’ll also need to practice rumbling with vulnerability and being a courageous disciple.

You’ll mess it up. When you do, dust off your knees, get back up and return to the arena. You are a courageous disciple on a journey with Jesus.

 

Reflect

What spiritual discipline are you willing to use to explore practice rumbling with vulnerability? Here are a few spiritual disciplines you might consider: Daily prayer. Daily reading the scriptures. Serving with people living in poverty. Tithing. Caring for the sick. Accountability with a small group.

Respond

Practice a spiritual discipline today.

Pray

Lord Jesus, I confess there are times I take practicing my faith for granted. There are times, I speak a prayer from memory with little attention to your presence in my life. Forgive me, I pray, and help me to grow as a disciple who seeks to become more like you. Amen.

Return

Use a notebook to record your responses. Share your celebrations in the comments below.

What spiritual discipline did you practice today? Where did you see Jesus today?

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.

Celebrate Your Call to Courage

Read

Matthew 2:19-23

When I consider Joseph’s life and legacy, I see a man who stepped into the arena called life. He rumbled with the vulnerability to be subjected to the scrutiny of the Law with faithful obedience. Joseph learned the skill of integration. Tomorrow, you’ll have one more opportunity to celebrate your thoughts, feelings, and actions from this week. But, today, I want you to return to your call to courage.

Consider, like Joseph, what you’ve been hearing from God throughout the past five weeks. Reflect on your thinking. What are you thinking about being a courageous disciple? How is God inviting you to practice the faith of a courageous disciple?

Your call to courage may not have appeared directly related to your faith. However, as you’ve learned on this journey, integrating your thoughts, feelings and actions are the hallmarks of a wholehearted disciple.

As you continue to grow as a person of courage, may Joseph’s faithful example of listening, rumbling with vulnerability, and practicing the faith be a reminder to you that God is with you – today, tomorrow, and the next day.

Reflect

What skill, insight, or learning will fuel your curiosity to be a courageous disciple in the days and weeks to come?

Respond

Put a post-it note on your refrigerator or bathroom mirror with the reminder to stay curious about your thoughts, feelings, and actions as you seek to follow Jesus.

Pray

Lord Jesus, I praise you for walking with me as I seek to become more like you. Help me to remain curious about my emotions, thoughts, and feelings in the days and weeks to come as I continue this journey of becoming a courageous disciple. Amen.

Return

Use a notebook to record your responses. Share your celebrations in the comments below.

What thought, feeling, and action did you take today to practice being a curious, courageous disciple?

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.

Wholehearted Disciple

Each Friday we’ll pause to consider the previous five days, integrating what we’re learning and how we’re seeing Jesus with three questions. As you consider the six myths of vulnerability and how the scripture passages brought these myths to light, respond to the following questions:

Thoughts

What are you thinking as a result of what you read, reflected and responded to? Specifically, what are you thinking about vulnerability?

Feelings

What are you thinking as a result of what you read, reflected and responded to each day? Specifically, what are you thinking about being curious and grounded confidence?

Actions

What are you doing as a result of what you read, reflected and responded to each day? Specifically, what are you doing about being curious and grounded confidence?

Where is there overlap in your answers? Wholehearted disciples practice uniting what they think, feel, and do. If you’re thoughts, actions, and feelings are not in alignment with one another, keep practicing! You’re on a journey of following Jesus.

Want to Dig Deeper? – Join the practice of TGIF

  • Who or what are you trusting?
  • For whom or what are you grateful?
  • Who or what is inspiring you?
  • How are you practicing faith?

Pray

Good and gracious God, thank you for a mind to think, emotions to feel, and hands and feet to propel me to act. Guide me in all I say, do, and feel so others may witness your grace. In the name Jesus I pray, Amen.

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.

Practice Self-Compassion

Read

John 15:12-17

“Love one another the way I have loved you.” It’s a simple, profound commandment. It’s so simple, in fact,  that many of us miss what is required to love one another.

You can begin to love another person when you know you are loved, love yourself, and experience the love of God found in Jesus. The first and last forms of love may come easy. For some, loving yourself can be a journey – a hard, long journey.

Today’s a great day to practice.

“Love one another the way I have loved you.”

Did you hear what Jesus just said to you?

Jesus said, “I love you.”

You are loved by God.

Today, practice receiving the love you so freely give to others.

When you feel inadequate or fail at something you attempt to do, don’t beat yourself up. This may have happened during one of the “Respond” challenges for this study. Would you ever say to someone you love, “You’re so stupid, how could you do that?” No. The thought wouldn’t cross your mind. So tell me this: why do you talk to yourself that way?

Instead, practice self-compassion. Name the current circumstances around you, call out the emotions you’re feeling, and remind yourself not to be so hard on yourself.

After all, you are God’s beloved.

Reflect

Do you talk to yourself the way you’d talk to someone you love?

Respond

Practice talking to yourself the way you talk to someone you love. (And don’t even begin to pretend you don’t talk to yourself. You do. It’s time to practice self-compassion in the midst of the self-talk.)

Pray

Lord Jesus, because of your great love for me, I know love. Because of your love, I want to share love. Because of your love, I need to practice self-compassion. May all that I say, do and feel today be done for your glory and in light of your love, Lord. Amen.

Return

Use a notebook to record your responses. Share your celebrations in the comments below.

What was challenging about talking to yourself the way you talk to someone you love? What was easy? How will you continue to practice self-compassion?

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.

Empathy Skill #5: Pay Attention

Read

John 8:31-38

You’ve been practicing naming your emotions and identifying the emotions of others. But what about the hard emotions? What do we do with the emotions that feel negative?

Did you read the Scripture for today? Jesus mentions a three-letter word we like to avoid in the church: sin.

Sin, simply put, is separation from God. Because it’s hard, difficult and challenging you may not want to talk about it. But here we are, together, talking about it. That’s the key to “paying attention” as an empathy skill: acknowledging and naming the negative.

Jesus names what is negative, but he doesn’t dwell on it. He doesn’t get emotionally hooked by what the Jews are saying. Jesus also doesn’t create more drama where there isn’t drama. He models paying attention beautifully.

Now before you say, “Yes, Jesus models paying attention so well I don’t think I can do it.”

Scapegoating on Jesus is still scapegoating, ok?

You can do this.

Here’s the thing: if you have a pattern of not paying attention to the negative, this will be challenging. Be kind to yourself and take a baby step. You just acknowledged you don’t like to deal with the negative. What a great place to start. Tomorrow, try to name what emotions are negative to you. If you need the help of a counselor or other helping professional to do this work, that’s a great next step too.

The point here is to acknowledge the negative but don’t get sucked into a death spiral of negative emotions. Be mindful and take good care. Both are needed. Too much negative and you’re wallowing. Too much positive and we seem unreal. Ignore the negative, you’re not dealing with reality either. Give too much credit to the positive, yes, you guessed it, it’s not reality either. It takes work to not suppress or exaggerate your emotions. Live with that challenge today. Jesus is our example.

Reflect

What negative or positive emotions do you tend to suppress and exaggerate?

Respond

Today, be mindful of the emotions you identified in the “reflect” section. Pay attention to how these emotions come up in your life, the lives of others, and even in the media.

Pray

Almighty God, you model the way for us in your Son Jesus. Thank you for showing us the delicate balance between suppression and exaggeration. I am grateful for the challenge to be mindful of what I am feeling. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Return

Use a notebook to record your responses. Share your celebrations in the comments below.

What emotions did you notice being suppressed or exaggerated in your life, the lives of others, or the media today? What step can you take to find a balance to the emotions?

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.

Empathy Skill #2: To be Non-judgmental

Read

John 8:1-11

Yes, you also read this yesterday. Keep reading. There’s a reason we’re returning to it today, too.

If you’ve read this passage before (see what I did there?) you’ve likely wondered, “What did Jesus write in the ground?” Did he really “write” any words? Or was it Jesus’ way of pausing to consider the complexity of the situation before him?

Maybe the words, “You are forgiven” came to mind as he knelt before the people gathered. Perhaps he wrote, “You are a beloved child of God.”

Or maybe it was, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.” The Shema (Deut 6:4-9) surely would have been top of Jesus’ mind as he recited it morning, noon and night.

The real answer to our wondering is, “I don’t know.” I don’t know what Jesus wrote and neither do you.

But what emerged at that moment was non-judgment from the Son of God. He modeled for a group bringing judgment on how to model accountability and love in the same breath.

What a gift to know that Jesus meets us where we are and loves us for who we are, not for what we have done or left undone. That includes all the good things and the not so good things, friends.

Reflect

Where are you prone to judge others? Consider the places you feel inadequate or are the most susceptible to shame.

Respond

Today, practice non-judgment. Acknowledge your feelings. Remain accountable. Extend love and compassion. Apply these statements to yourself, too.

Pray

Jesus, forgive me for the places I judge others and help me to stand in a place of compassion and wisdom today and always. Amen.

Return

Use a notebook to record your responses. Share your celebrations in the comments below.

Where did you judge others today? What did you do to practice non-judgment?

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.

The Courage of Empathy: Perspective Taking

Read

John 8:1-11

Empathy is critical in any organization, including the church, families, and businesses. When trust and connection are needed, empathy skills are essential.

While I’ve been trying to think of an organization where trust and connection are NOT needed, I can’t come up with one. From pharmacies and doctors to law offices and construction sites, trust and connection are needed for groups of people to be successful in their daily tasks.

Now put yourself with the scribes, Pharisees, the woman, and Jesus who appear in this passage. Who do you have empathy for in this passage?

Before you jump too quickly to the woman, let’s get clear on what empathy is not:

– It’s not giving advice, sympathy, judgment disguised as concern.

– It is also not sympathy.

When we empathize, we connect with the emotions another person is experiencing, not the experience. So while I have not experienced the death of a child, I can empathize with the feeling of grief, loneliness, and overwhelm a parent feels when facing this reality.

Likewise, you may not have committed adultery, but can you empathize with how the woman in this scripture passage must have felt? Take a look at this core list of emotions before responding. (You’ll find the list here.)

Maybe she was feeling embarrassment, fear, humiliation, hurt, judgment, lonely, regret, sad, shame, worry, overwhelm, or just plain vulnerable.

Have you ever experienced those feelings?

Sure you have.

That’s empathy.

It’s also the first skill of practicing empathy: perspective-taking. We’ll explore the other four skills of practicing empathy in the coming days.

As a result, you have the opportunity to empathize not only with the woman in this scripture but with Jesus and the Scribes and Pharisees.

Try it for yourself.

Reflect

What emotions might Jesus experience at this moment? What emotions might the scribes and Pharisees experience at this moment? Use the List of Core Emotions to help guide you.

Respond

This week, practice empathy. Return to your call to courage and note the emotions emerge when you consider stepping into your “arena.” Return to week 1 if you need a reminder about the arena.

Pray

Lord Jesus, thank you for giving me the capacity to feel. Sometimes my emotions are  hard, perplexing, and down right exhausting. At other times, my emotions are beautiful, life-giving, and uplifting. But, most of the time, I feel like I’m living somewhere in between. Thank you for the emotions that remind us we’re human beings, not human doings. Thank you for the spectrum of emotions that rush through my soul, Lord. Thank you for giving each one of us the capacity to feel. Amen.

Return

Use a notebook to record your responses. Share your celebrations in the comments below.

What emotions did you experience today? Note what you felt, who you were with, and what was happening. Then give God thanks for what you felt today. Be reminded that YOU are one of God’s beloved children.

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.