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Gratitude

Over the past several weeks I have been asking friends and colleagues, “For what are you grateful?”  

One friend thought a moment and said, “I am grateful for the paperweight on my desk.  I have had it for over 30 years.  It is an ordinary rock that has red and yellow paint splattered on it. It is not worth much, but I wouldn’t sell it for any amount of money in the world. My son was 5 years old when he made it for me in a Sunday School class. It is a symbol of his love.  

Another friend said, “I love the homemade greeting card I got from my daughter. On the front of the card, she drew a picture of the earth and wrote the words, “To the World’s Most Sweetest Mom.” Inside the card she wrote, “Happy Birthday,” then scratched through it and wrote, “Happy Mother’s Day.” She signed the card, “Love, Sarah (6 years old)” When she gave me the card, she pointed out her mistake inside and said, “Even though I made a mistake, you are the same Mom.” 

Other friends and colleagues named things like family, friends, work, relationships. One person even said, “I’m grateful for my district superintendent.”

Well, how cool is that?   

The Practice of Gratitude

As I have listened, I have learned three things about you: 

  1. You are people of gratitude.  
  2. You are most grateful for your relationships 
  3. Your gifts are valuable because of the giver of those gifts.  

I think that is genuine gratitude.  Focusing upon the giver of the gift rather than on the gift itself. To paraphrase Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, “You can gain the whole world and all the gifts in it, but without gratitude, you will miss the giver and lose your soul.” Celebrating the giver rather than the gift is the point. When you make that breakthrough, you will never be the same. That kind of gratitude will change your life.

So, let’s put our gratitude into action.  I want you to think of someone for whom you are grateful.  Someone who has brought love, joy, and gladness into your life. Someone who, because of their generosity, has changed your life. Get that person’s face in our mind and name on your lips.

Two Sides of Gratitude

Now, let me tell you about Bonnie Shepherd.  She was having surgery two weeks before Christmas. She said it was a terrible time to be in the hospital, but her husband assured her that he could take care of things at home. But she wrote, “Christmas baking, shopping, and decorating would have to wait.”

She said, “I struggled to open my eyes after sleeping for almost two days following surgery. As I became more alert, I looked around to what seemed like a Christmas floral shop.  Red poinsettias and other bouquets crowded the windowsill. A stack of cards waited to be opened. On the stand next to my bed stood a small tree decorated with ornaments my children had made.  The shelf over the sink held a dozen red roses from my parents…and a yule log with candles from our neighbor. I was overwhelmed by all the love and attention.”

That day, she watched a heavy snowfall outside the hospital window.  She began thinking about her four children. Her husband had told her that friends had brought meals and offered to care for the children. She began to imagine them bundled in their snowsuits building a backyard snowman and skating at the outdoor ice rink. Then, she thought of her son, Adam.  He had a physical disability. At age 5 he had just started walking independently. She worried about him on the ice and snow with his thin ankles. She wondered if anyone would take him for a sled ride?

More Flowers

About that time, she heard the nurse’s voice, “More flowers!”  The nurse handed her the card from the beautiful centerpiece and then made room for the bouquet among the poinsettias on the windowsill. She took more cards from her pocket and put them on the tray.  Before leaving the room, she pulled back the pale green privacy curtain between the two beds.

While Bonnie was reading her get-well cards, she heard, “Yep, I like those flowers.” It was the woman in the bed beside her.  She had pushed the curtain aside so she could see better. “Yep, I like those flowers,” she said again.

Bonnie said her roommate was a small 40-something woman with Down’s syndrome.  She had short, curly, gray hair and brown eyes. Her hospital gown hung untied around her neck, and when she moved forward it exposed her bareback.  Bonnie said she wanted to tie it for her but she was still connected to an IV. The woman stared at the flowers with childlike wonder.

Bonnie spoke to her.  “I’m Bonnie. What’s your name?”

“Ginger,” she said, rolling her eyes toward the ceiling and pressing her lips together after she spoke.  “Doc’s gonna fix my foot. I’m going to have suur-jeree tomorrow.”

Bonnie and Ginger talked until dinnertime. Ginger told her about the group home where she lived and how she wanted to get back for her Christmas party.  She never mentioned a family. Every few minutes she reminded Bonnie of her surgery scheduled for the next morning saying, “Doc’s gonna fix my foot.”   

Plans and Visitors

That evening, Bonnie had several visitors, including her son Adam. Ginger talked with everyone who entered the room, telling each of them about Bonnie’s pretty flowers.  She kept an eye on Adam. Later that evening, when everyone had gone, Ginger repeated over and over how much she liked the flowers and then she said, “I like your Adam too.”

The next morning, while Ginger was in surgery, the nurse helped Bonnie take a walk down the hall.  When she returned to her room, she noticed the contrast between the two sides of the room. Ginger’s bed was neatly made, waiting for her return.  But she had no cards, no flowers, and no visitors. Bonnie said her side of the room bloomed with flowers, and the stack of get-well cards reminded her of just how much she was loved.

No one sent Ginger flowers or cards.  Bonnie began to wonder if it was going to be that way for Adam one day.  She quickly decided that she would give Ginger something. Some of her flowers.    

Justified Guilt?

She walked to the window and picked up the red-candled centerpiece with holly sprigs.  She thought, “This would look great on our Christmas dinner table.” So, she set the piece down. What about the poinsettias? Then she thought about how much the deep-red plants would brighten the entry of her turn-of-the-century home.  And of course, she could not give away her Mom and Dad’s roses.

Bonnie said the justifications kept coming: the flowers are beginning to wilt; this friend would be offended; I really could use this when I get home. She said she could not part with anything.  So, she climbed back into bed. She calmed her guilt with a decision to call the hospital gift shop when it opened in the morning. She would order Ginger some flowers of her own.

When Ginger returned from surgery, a candy-striper brought her a small green Christmas wreath with a red bow.  She hung it on the bare white wall above Ginger’s bed. That evening, Bonnie had more visitors. Even though Ginger was recuperating from surgery, she greeted each visitor and proudly showed them her Christmas wreath.

Home In Time for Christmas

The next morning, after breakfast, the nurse returned to tell Ginger that she was going home.  “The van is on its way to pick you up.” Bonnie felt happy for Ginger. She would be home in time for her Christmas party, but Bonnie felt guilty when she remembered that the hospital gift shop would not open for two more hours.  She looked around the room at her flowers one more time.

The nurse brought the wheelchair to Ginger’s bedside.  Ginger gathered up what few things she had and pulled her coat from the hanger in the closet. Bonnie said, “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, Ginger.”  She said her words were sincere but she was feeling bad for not following through on her good intentions.

The Gift of Gratitude

The nurse helped Ginger with her coat and into the wheelchair.  Then she removed the small wreath from the nail on the wall and handed it to Ginger.  They turned toward the door to leave when Ginger said, “Wait.” Ginger stood up from her wheelchair and hobbled slowly over to Bonnie’s bed.  She reached out her hand and gently laid the small wreath in Bonnie’s lap. “Merry Christmas. You are a nice lady.” Then Ginger hugged Bonnie.

Bonnie whispered, “Thank you.”  She said she could not say anything more as she watched Ginger hobble back to the chair and out the door. She looked at the small wreath in her hands and thought, “Ginger’s only gift.  And she gave it to me.” As she looked toward Ginger’s bed, she saw, again, her side of the room was bare and empty. But as she heard the elevator doors closing, Bonnie said, “I experienced gratitude as I had never experienced it before.  I don’t think I will ever be the same.” 

Your Next Step

Now, let’s go back to the person I asked you to remember. 

  1. Get that person’s face in your mind and name on your lips
  2. Give God thanks. You are who you are today because of that person’s presence and influence. 
  3. How will you express your gratitude? make a phone call? send a text? bake cookies?  What one thing will you do to express your gratitude?
  4. Now, do it!    

By God’s grace, you express your gratitude by loving as you have been loved.  When gratitude overtakes you, you forget to be afraid. You become able to trust and you have time for the greater things in life. Once you experience and express your gratitude, you will never be the same.

 

 

The Characters of Christmas An Advent Journey

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Do You Want to Grow?

There is in most of us a deep uncertainty and tension about change.  On one hand, you want to grow, develop, and expand. Even when it brings anxiety, you may like some level of adventure.  Growing is a part of who you are. The idea of becoming more than you are is exciting.

On the other hand, you recoil at the change.  There is fearful anxiety of the unknown.  What will the “not-yet-experienced” be like? Then, when someone or something even suggests that you change, you defend yourself, dig in, and protect who you are.

Then there is the tendency to do nothing.  You just don’t want to make the effort to adjust to what change means or calls forth?

These are some of the inner challenges you face as you change and grow. That is why I ask the question: Do you want to grow? As a Jesus follower, do you want to become who God has created you to be?

Are you willing?

If you have been baptized, I assume that you have said, at least symbolically, “I want to grow” or “I am ready to grow.” Because with baptism, you respond to God’s invitation to grow into who God has created you to be. So, you have a desire to grow.  That is what you bring to growth, your desire, your willingness, your response to God’s invitation.

You know, that really is all you bring to the process of growth: your willingness or unwillingness.  You are created so that you can choose to either grow toward God’s dream for you or to set yourself against the tide and refuse it.  If you want to grow, there is no end to what you can become. Paul wrote to the Corinthians, “But this is precisely what is written: God has prepared things for those who love him that no eye has seen, or ear has heard, or that haven’t crossed the mind of any human being.” (I Corinthians 2:9) But if that desire does not exist, because it has been choked out by fear or pride or shame or resistance, not even the God who made heaven and earth is willing to force it upon you.

Questions from Jesus

Do you remember the story of Jesus walking beside the pool of Bethesda?  There were sick people gathered by the pool.  The tradition was that when the waters stirred an angel was nearby and the first person to get into the pool would be healed of his/her affliction.  People came from all around with the hope of being healed.  As Jesus moved through the gathering of sick people, his attention was drawn to one man who had been lying there for thirty-eight years.  Jesus went over to him asked, “Do you want to be healed?”

On the surface that sounds like a ridiculous question.  That man had been waiting for thirty-eight years. Of course, he wants to be healed. Yet Jesus was aware that change is never simple. Have you read the story?  The man’s response reveals his uncertainty and tension regarding change.  He begins to make excuses and shifts the blame to other people.  He says, “The problem is, I have no one to help me into the pool. When the water bubbles, someone else always gets in ahead of me.”

Jesus’ Persistence

Notice that Jesus does not let him sidestep the issue.   Jesus asks him again, “Do you want to be healed?”  I can imagine the conversation going like this, “Man, the real issue is your willingness to be healed. Have you become so accustomed to this life of lying here and blaming others that you really don’t want to change? After all, there are benefits to being sick. No one expects anything of you.  You don’t have to work.  You don’t have to face the pressures of being active. You don’t have to do anything any different than what you have been doing.

Truthfully, would you really accept the help if it were offered?  You would have to become vulnerable enough to acknowledge you need help and then accept it. You must swallow pride and shame and a sense of self-sufficiency.  So, I am asking you the real question. Here and now, do you want to be healed?”

The Answer

For the first time in thirty-eight years, the real issue was spelled out for the man.  He could no longer evade it or blame it on someone else.  So, when confronted by Jesus, the man dared to say, “Yes, I want to change.”  Immediately the process of healing began.  A thirty-eight-year cycle was broken, and a new way of living began to take shape.  He began to take responsibility for carrying his own load rather than being carried.

Sure, there were pains in this new life. Significant change brings both gain and loss. But, look at the new possibilities available to the man. Once he made the decision to grow, to change, he had a whole new world before him.  It is the same for you when you are willing to become vulnerable by stepping out in courage to brave the new reality. The good news is, it is never too late to start growing again. You are never too old to start. If after thirty-eight years of immobility this man could begin to move again, why can’t you?

Your Turn

Do you want to grow? As a Jesus follower, are you willing to do what it takes to become who God has created you to be? If so, then here is what you need to do:

  1. Name four trusted friends with whom you are willing to become vulnerable.
  2. Through prayer and reflection, focus upon who God has created you to be. Test your desires with your friends.
  3. Trust your friends to name what must be addressed for you to step out in courage to brave your new reality?
  4. What one thing will you do, today, to step into that new reality?
  5. Now, with the love, care, and encouragement of your friends, step out in faith to live the life God created for you.

Do you want to grow? If you do, then the sky is the limit.

God is “able to do far beyond all that we could ask or imagine by his power at work within us…” Ephesians 3:20.

There is nothing more basic than the desire to grow. If the desire is present in your life, no number of obstacles can keep God from finishing that which God has begun.  If the desire is not present, then not even our great creator God can make God’s dream come true.

Do you want to grow?  Then, in the name of Jesus, get started!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Choosing Vulnerability

What great work does God have for you to do?  You know the desires of your heart and the stirrings in your soul.  You also know the tensions and anxieties of living into who you know God created you to be and the pressures of the work and world around you.

So, how do you respond or react to the tension?

As you reflect upon that question, let me ask you to be honest with yourself. Read the following statements. Which statement describes you?

  • You live alone. Even though you have a family and you are surrounded with friends and colleagues, you live separated from the benefit of others speaking into your life.
  • You feel more comfortable with isolation than you do with letting people get close to you. Keeping your personal distance protects you.
  • You know what to do with your isolation and you are intentional in developing the relationships that feed your soul.

Which of the three statements best describes your mode of operation?  Be honest. No one knows but you.  Which one?

Lonely Leaders

Lonely leaders are everywhere.  Although you are surrounded by people, you can’t seem to connect in meaningful ways. So, you have entered a self-imposed separation.  It is easier to disconnect from people than it is to risk being vulnerable.

Bruce Thrall, one of the authors of The Ascent of a Leader: How Ordinary Relationships Develop Extraordinary Character and Influence, did research around “deception” as a leadership dysfunction.  The title of his project was “Everybody Lies, But Leaders Do It Better.”

He interviewed leaders who had deceived and been publicly caught, from the fields of medicine, journalism, law and law enforcement, the church, etc. The interviews exposed isolation as the primary reason the leaders gave themselves permission to lie.¹ Although these leaders were constantly around people such as family, friends, and colleagues, they were isolated, fearful, and alone.

Isolation robs you from becoming who God has created you to be. So, how do you and I overcome the isolation that threatens to keep us from the authentic community and courageous leadership?

An Example of Leading with Vulnerability

Let’s look at the life of a vulnerable leader.  His name, William Wilberforce. As a popular member of Parliament in Great Britain, Wilberforce liked the power and prestige of his office. Even though his personal life was not of the highest character, his political career looked promising.

Through the encouragement of a college friend, Wilberforce began to take a serious look at his life, which lead him to an encounter with Jesus.  After some personal struggle, he trusted God with his life.  As he considered the implications of his decision, through personal study and reflection, Wilberforce wrestled with the idea of leaving politics and becoming a minister. Here is one place he became vulnerable.  Instead of moving forward with a decision, he first went to several trusted friends, asking for their counsel.

Allies and Friends

He approached William Pitt, the soon-to-be prime minister of Great Britain.  Pitt wanted Wilberforce as a political ally, especially with his improving reputation.  So, he asked Wilberforce to stay in politics. Wilberforce was not convinced.  He knew what he wanted while he listened to his trusted friends. As he continued to wrestle with his conscience, he sought out John Newton, the author of the hymn “Amazing Grace,” himself a convert to Christ.  Surely Newton would understand his desire to pursue the ministry.  Instead, Newton encouraged him to use his political position and knowledge as his ministry.

I can imagine that no one knew how much Wilberforce struggled to open his life to his colleagues and friends.  But knowing myself, it could not have been easy. He knew what he wanted, but he chose to become vulnerable, listening to those who knew him and loved him.

What are the Desires of Your Heart?

Let me ask you, how many people have you shared the desires of your heart, asking them to help you make sense of those desires?  How many people have asked you for direction regarding their lives?  How many people do you know who have gone as far as Wilberforce, following the advice of others even while disagreeing with their advice?

Sometimes our resistance to vulnerability comes after a profound experience of God’s love.  Once we come to the point of trusting God, we jump to conclusions about our calling in life, choosing to do things inconsistent with our capacities and character.  I know some people who have been encouraged to leave their careers and enter into a more “spiritual” work when it might have been the opposite of God’s purpose.

Choosing Vulnerability

Choosing vulnerability is tough work. You might not like what people say.  You might even disagree. But recognizing God as you focus upon your purpose, allows you the courage to listen, discern, and enter into dialogue with the people around you.

Here are some things to remember:

  1. Know who you are and whose you are. Whether you agree or disagree with others’ advice, choosing to be vulnerable cannot happen without trusting who God has created you to be.
  2. Find colleagues and friends who can be trusted. As hard as it might seem, becoming who God has created you to be is not a casual practice done in isolation.
  3. Vulnerability does not mean transparency. It is more than disclosing yourself at times and in ways that are convenient for you. Vulnerability is deliberately submitting yourself to the strengths and influences of trusted friends and colleagues at times that might be inconvenient.
  4. Vulnerability means you choose to let others have access to your life, teach you, and influence you. To the degree that you become vulnerable with others is the degree to which you will experience the love of others.
  5. Vulnerability invites trust. The trust others have in you depends upon your level of integrity. Your vulnerability expresses and sustains such integrity.

What Great Work Does God Have for You?

For Wilberforce vulnerability was not a passing fad.   He chose vulnerability over and over again.  After a time of doubt and reflection, he decided to stay in politics. He chose vulnerability when he asked is friends and colleagues to help him choose which issues to focus upon.

Slavery was the issue at the top of the list. He decided to recruit others to assist in his fight against slavery.  He met with groups of people regularly to listen, to develop mutual vulnerability, and support.  Vulnerability became a pattern of his life as he consistently opened his heart to the influence of others.  As a result of choosing to be vulnerable, Wilberforce is remembered as a great reformer whose work led to the abolition of slavery in the British Empire.²

So, I’m wondering, what great work does God have for you?  To become who God has created you to be, you need to start with vulnerability.  What one step will you take to get started. Consider the following:

  • What one thing will you do to address your isolation?
  • In what relationship(s) are you willing to become vulnerable?
  • What relationship(s) will you develop that will feed your soul?

Our families, our communities, our jobs, our churches, need vulnerable leaders, leaders who are willing to take the risk of opening their lives to the influence of others. Who knows what God has in store for you as you open yourself to the care, compassion, and influence of trusted friends and colleagues?

Choose vulnerability and become the leader God has created you to be.

 

 

Notes

  1. Thrall, Bruce, The Ascent of a Leader: How Ordinary Relationships Develop Extraordinary Character and Influence, page 76.
  2. The story of William Wilberforce was adapted from The Ascent of a Leader
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Leading with Courage

You are a person of influence. You might not see yourself as influential, but there are individuals and groups of people you influence by your relationships, interactions, and decisions. Your influence gives you the opportunity to be a leader.

Brené Brown writes, “A leader is anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes, and who has the courage to develop that potential.” Whether you hold a position in a corporation, a company, a church or you are a parent, a teacher, a dance instructor, or a little league coach you influence people by finding and developing potential in their lives.

The question is, do you have the courage to be that kind of leader?

Ordinary Courage

The word “courage” comes from the Latin word for “heart”. It originally meant, “to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” Over time, the definition has changed. Today, courage is more synonymous with being heroic. We certainly need heroes. But courage has a deeper meaning.

I want to know if you have the heart to be vulnerable with the people you influence. Do you have the heart to be vulnerable? I like the way Brené Brown expresses it, “I think we’ve lost touch with the idea that speaking honestly and openly about who we are, about what we’re feeling, and about our experiences (good and bad) is the definition of courage. Heroics is often about putting our life on the line. Ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line.”¹

Putting Your Vulnerability on the Line as a Disciple

I experienced this kind of courage through my fourth grade Sunday school teacher. Although she worked as a clerk, collecting money for the water department, and never held a position of leadership in the church, I was within her sphere of influence. Mary would greet me every Sunday at the classroom door with the words, “Timmy, I knew you were going to be here this morning.” Then with a welcoming hug, she would send me into the classroom to meet other classmates who had gathered. As I entered the room I would hear her say, “Nancy, I knew you were going to be here this morning.” When I would look back she would be hugging Nancy and sending her into the room to meet the rest of us. Mary greeted us as if we were the most important people she knew.

She developed relationships with eight 10-year-olds who gathered every Sunday morning. Because she took responsibility to develop those relationships, we listened to her lessons on Jesus. I remember her telling us about Jesus touching a leper and about Jesus receiving a woman who was sick. I will always remember her saying that we love like Jesus because that is the way we thank Jesus for loving us. We were under her influence as she developed our potential to become followers of Jesus.

Several times a year, Mary would bring cookies or brownies or little square sandwiches, along with Kool-Aid to our Sunday School class. As we ate, she would tell us how Jesus invited people to eat at his table. Once when we did not have enough room around the table, she said, “There is always enough room at Jesus’ table.” She then asked us to help her add an extension to the table so everyone had a place. By her teaching and action, she influenced how we related to one another.

Teaching the Great Commission

I remember the Sunday she taught us about Jesus sending his disciples into the world to tell others about God’s love. As was her custom, Mary pointed her finger at one of us and said, “You read the first verse.” We continued around the table, each of us reading a verse. When we ran out of verses, she said, “Okay, let’s start over.” Again, she pointed her finger and said, “Now, you read the first verse” and we continued until everyone had an opportunity to read.

On that Sunday, our scripture was Matthew 28:16-20. Each of us took a turn reading a verse:

Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.

I don’t think I will ever forget what happened next. When we finished reading, she looked at each of us and said, “One day, one of you will go someplace in the world and tell people about Jesus.”

Mary was taking responsibility for the people with whom she had influence. She was developing the potential of a group of 10-year-olds to follow Jesus into the world. She put her vulnerability on the line to lead fourth graders.

When we “graduated” from fourth grade, Mary continued to send us notes of encouragement. I still have the gift she gave me for my high school graduation. It was a book on character. She led with courage. She encouraged my development as a person and as a Jesus follower.

Living the Great Commission

When I was 32, I was invited by the Institute for World Evangelism to participate in a school of evangelism in West Africa. I was partnered with a Nigerian pastor and assigned to a Methodist church in a fishing village just outside of Accra, Ghana. Titilayo, my Nigerian partner, and I joined the pastor of the church in visiting the people of his parish, teaching bible studies, leading prayer meetings, and preaching on Sunday mornings.

One afternoon the pastor took us to visit the matriarch of the church. She lived in a small four-room house with her sisters, their children, and their children’s children. There was a total of 40 people in the house. As we entered the compound behind the house, there were children playing, chickens and goats running, and several women cooking dinner on an open fire.

The pastor greeted everyone in his language “Ga.” With his greeting, we were welcomed with smiles, waves, and extended hands. As he introduced us to the group, several of the younger women went into the house and led an older woman, the matriarch, out of the house and into the compound. One of the women placed a small white bench on the ground. The older woman sat on the bench. Everyone in the compound gathered around to listen.

The pastor introduced us, Titilayo Fatimyembo from Nigeria and Timothy Bias from the United States of America. He told the group that we had come to tell them of God’s love in Jesus. As he introduced us, the older woman reached out her hands to welcome us. Titilayo and I instinctively took her hands. With everyone standing around us, she began to sing in her language a tune that I recognized.

In Christ there is no east or west
In Him no south or north
But one great fellowship of love
Throughout the whole wide earth.

Leaders Develop the Potential of Others

Do you know who I thought of at that moment? My fourth grade Sunday school teacher. I remember the day Mary said, “One day, one of you will go someplace in the world and tell people about Jesus.” Mary had taken the responsibility of finding the potential in a group of 10-year-olds and had the courage to develop our potential.

Your Next Step

You decide: are you a person of influence? You are if you’re leading the people around you to live into the potential of their lives.

Take the next step by doing one or more of the following:

  • Focus on your purpose. As a person of influence, you have the opportunity to lead people into becoming who God has created them to be. Knowing your purpose is fundamental in helping others find their purpose.
  • Look for God’s presence in the lives of the people around you. As a leader, being able to identify God in the people you influence allows you the opportunity to connect them with God.
  • Cultivate relationships with the people you influence and lead. It is the depth of your relationships that allow you the opportunity to be vulnerable and courageous.
  • Listen to “Do You Want To Lead With Courage?”
  • Download the Transformation Guide to take this next step. The Transformation Guide offers you four skills that will assist you in identifying what is needed and what is missing in Leading with Courage.

As a Jesus follower, you have the opportunity to develop the foundation of God’s presence and purpose in your life. As a person of influence, you have the responsibility of finding and developing the potential in the lives of the people you influence. Because of who you are and how you lead, one day someone will contact you and say, “Thank you for having the courage to lead me in becoming who God created me to be.”

Today is the day you can begin to change your corner of the world. Let’s lead with ordinary courage.

 

Notes

Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection, as found on http://www.bhevolution.org/public/gifts_of_imperfection.page

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Courageous Disciples, Week 5, Day 1

From It Takes Courage – Part 1: Courageous Disciples

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Grounded Confidence

Read

Matthew 16:13-17

“Who do you say that I am?” – Jesus

Let’s try an experiment in curiosity. If Jesus approached you and asked, “Who do you say that I am?” how would you respond?

Perhaps you’d say, “Jesus is the Son of God. The Messiah. The chosen one.”

“Who do you say that I am?”

Light of the world. My savior and friend.

“Who do you say that I am?”

Emmanuel. God with us.

“Who do you say that I am?”

The Alpha and Omega.

“Who do you say that I am?” Jesus asks.

The bread of life.

The good shepherd.

The resurrection and the life.

The way, the truth, and the life.

The true vine.

Who do you say that I am?

This time answer it in your own words. Who is Jesus to you?

It’s about practicing curiosity. Be reminded, “Curiosity is an act of vulnerability and courage.”2

Throughout the past four weeks, you’ve been exploring many of the skills needed to rumble with vulnerability. This week, we’re uniting rumbling with vulnerability, curiosity, and practice into what is called grounded confidence.

Stay curious today and throughout the week. And remember, God is with you.

Reflect

How would you respond if Jesus asked you, “Who do you say that I am?” Stay curious and answer that as many times as you can. Then, answer it again.

Respond

Practice curiosity today. Ask questions with love. Explore the unknown and get curious about your impulses.

Pray

Jesus, you are the light of the world, the alpha and omega, the Great I AM. When I consider all the ways you meet me where I am and love me for who I am, I am humbled. Thank you for the wonder, awe, and simplicity of your abiding presence…Especially when I’m rumbling with vulnerability with you and others. Amen.

Return

Use a notebook to record your responses. Share your celebrations in the comments below.

Consider your thoughts, feelings and actions from today. Together, what do your thoughts, feelings, and actions tell you about who Jesus is to you?

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.

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Courageous Disciples, Week 5, Day 2

From It Takes Courage – Part 1: Courageous Disciples

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Grounded Confidence Necessitates Practice

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Matthew 18:1-5

Questions are one of the surprises that can appear as we read the scriptures. Questions are a part of our faith.

Jesus asks the disciples questions. Jesus asks crowds questions. Jesus even speaks to the people who are wanting to put him to death in a questioning tone. And the disciples also ask Jesus questions.

The passage today, Jesus offers his response to the question, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

I can see the disciples sitting on the edge of their seats waiting for Jesus to look at them. Instead, Jesus invites a child into his midst.

And the disciples are dumbfounded.

The disciples are confused, “Become like a child, Jesus?! We’ve spent our whole lives growing up! What in the world are you talking about? Have you lost your mind?”

(If you’ve never rumbled with vulnerability with Jesus, I recognize that last statement may read a bit like blasphemy. After all, how could Jesus lose His mind?)

That’s why we need rumble tools. Before I share a few tools, let me remind you of the journey you’ve been on with Jesus and courage.

You named your call to courage and explored what ordinary courage is all about (week 1). Then, you learned the definition of vulnerability and how following Jesus takes courage (week 2). You explored the difference between armored and daring discipleship (week 3) and learned about the empathy skills and your emotions (week 4).

Now, let’s add a tool to your toolbox. (See below) These rumble starters are intended to help you lean into vulnerability and stay curious – even when conversations start to get messy.

I imagine the disciples and Jesus seated on the floor eating dinner that night and one of them says, “Jesus, help me understand…when you invited us to become like children, what does that mean? What does it look like? How can we do that?”

Jesus, laughing, might have said, “Do I need to go over this again? I will. I can. I’m not asking you to transport back in time. Stop thinking literally. I’m asking you to have the curiosity, compassion, joy, and vulnerability of a child.”

“But, Jesus, there are laws we need to follow. How can we NOT be literal?” Matthew interjects.

“That’s a whole different conversation,” Jesus offers.

Then Jesus continues, “We’ll have plenty of time together to keep practicing the faith, learning a new way. For tonight, can we simply stay curious about what the LORD is doing in our midst?”

The twelve nod in agreement. They get it. Their nods are not a polite-go-with-the-crowd type affirmation. They are WITH Jesus. Just then, Matthew has to break the silence and says,

“Oh. Yes, Jesus. We can do that.”

Judas, “Sorry, Jesus. I didn’t mean to start a conversation so late. I misunderstood.”

“Thanks for clearing that up,” said James.

Their conversation turns to celebration about what the LORD is doing. They’re so curious to hear the stories of what is happening, their meal lasts late into the night.

All that’s left for Jesus to do is go off on his own and pray.

Reflect

What would rumbling with vulnerability look like for you and Jesus? Refer to the rumble starters below.

Respond

Use the rumble starters to begin a conversation with Jesus or another person. Here are a few examples to help you get started:

Jesus, I’m wondering…How does your love multiply more when it is shared?

Jesus, help me understand…What happened to my dog when she died?

Walk me through, what can I do to help our friend who is hurting/has cancer/going through a divorce?

I’m wondering…What do I say to my neighbor who is moving?

Pray

Jesus, thank you for receiving my questions. I am grateful you hold the space for curiosity and wonder. Guide me as I seek to be still enough to hear you through others and bold enough to respond. Amen.

Return

Use a notebook to record your responses. Share your celebrations in the comments below.

What rumble starter did you use today? If you didn’t use one, it’s OK. Reflect on your conversations and consider where a rumble starter may have helped you stay curious. You’ll find the Rumble Starters below.

 

Rumble Starters

Add these rumble starters1 to your toolkit.

When you recognize there’s a need to have a tough conversation, ask yourself which statement can help you get started.

When you’re ready to show up with your heart open to have an honest, faithful conversation, use these rumble starters to remain curious and present.

Finally, hold these rumble starters close throughout the conversation. They’ll help you stay curious in the midst of your conversation.

The story I’m making up is…

I’m curious about…

Tell me more…

That’s not my experience…

I’m wondering…

Help me understand…

Walk me through…

We’re both dug in. Tell me about your passion around this.

Tell me why this doesn’t fit/work for you.

I’m working from these assumptions, what about you?

What problem are we trying to solve?

What other questions can you ask to stay curious?

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.

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Courageous Disciples, Week 5, Day 3

From It Takes Courage – Part 1: Courageous Disciples

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Are you a curious disciple?

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Acts 17:19-21

Imagine hearing the good news of Jesus for the first time. You’ve heard about Jesus, born in Bethlehem to Mary and Joseph. But you’re also hearing people talk about Jesus as the Son of God. Those two “identities” don’t seem to make logical sense. You find yourself thinking, “Wait. What? How can this be? (Yes, Jesus’ mom, Mary, asked the same thing. Have a look at Luke 1:34.)

Imagine trying to wrap your head around the reality of Jesus’ humanity and divinity for the first time. Perhaps you remember your own journey trying to grapple with this reality. You had to get curious.

Here’s the thing: faith necessitates curiosity.

Someone shares something with you about Jesus. From the morsel of information they shared, you get curious. Perhaps a conversation unfolds something like this:

Wait, people were jailed for sharing their faith? Yes.

And crowds followed Jesus wherever he went? Yes.

And people wanted to kill him? Yes, and they did.

But…how does a dead guy become the Savior?

Resurrection.

So they resuscitated Jesus? Well, not exactly. Resurrection is new life.

However that conversation may unfold, you’ve learned something that may not quite add up when you think logically. But the presence, the power, and the purpose of Jesus are pointing to something beyond logic. There is only one thing you CAN do. Get curious.

Grounded confidence takes learning the skills of rumbling with vulnerability, getting curious and practice. Today, practice curiosity.

Reflect

What is one thing you’d love to talk to Jesus about? Go ahead…have that conversation. Talk to Jesus in prayer.

Respond

Today, get curious. Ask questions of the people you interact with today. Remember, practicing curiosity is not an interrogation. Speak with grace as you get curious.

Pray

Jesus, thank you for receiving my questions with grace. Thank you for reminding me that your power is not diminished by my curiosity. I offer myself to you today as one who is amazed, humbled, and grateful for your abiding presence in the midst of my never-ending questions. Amen.

Return

Use a notebook to record your responses. Share your celebrations in the comments below.

What did you do today to practice curiosity with others? With Jesus? What will you do differently tomorrow?

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.

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Courageous Disciples Week 5, Day 4

From It Takes Courage – Part 1: Courageous Disciples

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Practice

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Luke 11:1-4

The disciples want to learn to pray from their Master, Jesus. The prayer we know as the Lord’s Prayer is the prayer Jesus teaches the disciples to pray.

While the Lord’s Prayer is a familiar prayer to many, at one time you had to learn it. You stumbled over the words. You wondered if it was trespasses or debts.

You may have even prayed it out loud in a Roman Catholic context and realized their tradition does not include “for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.” Yes, I’m speaking from experience. Of all the times and places it could have happened – this protestant pastor was attending a Roman Catholic funeral mass. It was another context to practice, stay curious, and receive the grace of the people around me.

Just like me, you practice the faith.

The more you practice the faith, the more you learn about Jesus and ourselves. The more you learn, the more curious you get. The more curious you get, the more you’ll need to practice rumbling with vulnerability. And the more you practice rumbling with vulnerability, the more courageous you become.

That’s the journey of a courageous disciple.

There’s one more thing. You never graduate from practice. Ask any professional athlete what they still spend time focusing upon each day. They’ll tell you the fundamental skills of their sport and basic physical & mental training.

Each of these is an example of why we practice prayer. It’s also why we practice following Jesus. Yes, you guessed it, you’ll also need to practice rumbling with vulnerability and being a courageous disciple.

You’ll mess it up. When you do, dust off your knees, get back up and return to the arena. You are a courageous disciple on a journey with Jesus.

 

Reflect

What spiritual discipline are you willing to use to explore practice rumbling with vulnerability? Here are a few spiritual disciplines you might consider: Daily prayer. Daily reading the scriptures. Serving with people living in poverty. Tithing. Caring for the sick. Accountability with a small group.

Respond

Practice a spiritual discipline today.

Pray

Lord Jesus, I confess there are times I take practicing my faith for granted. There are times, I speak a prayer from memory with little attention to your presence in my life. Forgive me, I pray, and help me to grow as a disciple who seeks to become more like you. Amen.

Return

Use a notebook to record your responses. Share your celebrations in the comments below.

What spiritual discipline did you practice today? Where did you see Jesus today?

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.

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