Day 7 of each week is a “Grace Day.” We invite you to pray the prayer provided and use today to rest and review any days that you may have missed.

Pray

Lord Jesus, saying the word courage makes me feel strong. It makes me want to be brave. But, when I’m honest with you and with myself, it’s hard.

I know you never promised following you would be easy. I simply ask for the wisdom to recall the myths I’ve learned this week and to seek to follow you as a wholehearted disciple.

I want to follow you, Lord. And I know that requires courage. Help me to rest this day in the promise of your grace, trusting each day I can become more of the person you created me to be.

When I screw it up, remind me to return to you and the person I’ve wronged. And then, help me not to beat myself up over my imperfections.

Thank you, Jesus, for meeting me where I am and loving me for who I am. Your love overwhelms me each and every day. Amen.

 

Read

Take an opportunity to review any of the days you missed.

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

 

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.

Wholehearted Disciple

Each Friday we’ll pause to consider the previous five days, integrating what we’re learning and how we’re seeing Jesus with three questions. As you consider the six myths of vulnerability and how the scripture passages brought these myths to light, respond to the following questions:

Thoughts

What are you thinking as a result of what you read, reflected and responded to? Specifically, what are you thinking about vulnerability?

Feelings

What are you feeling as a result of what you read, reflected and responded to? Specifically, what are you feeling about vulnerability?

Actions

What are you doing as a result of what you read, reflected and responded to? Specifically, what are you doing about learning to rumble with vulnerability?

Where is there overlap in your answers? Wholehearted disciples practice uniting what they think, feel, and do. If you’re thoughts, actions, and feelings are not in alignment with one another, keep practicing! You’re on a journey of following Jesus.

One Final Myth about Vulnerability

Myth 6: Vulnerability is over-sharing, indiscriminate disclosure.

Consider the past five days. There was nothing in what you were asked to do that was about over-sharing or indiscriminate disclosure. You don’t need to “bleed all over the place,” to be vulnerable. (Nor should you. If you are bleeding all over the place, please get medical help! 😉

Some of the most vulnerable, courageous people I know are also some of the most private individuals. Over-sharing is inappropriate. Indiscriminate disclosure is unnecessary. Neither are a part of rumbling with vulnerability.

Now that we’ve arrived at Day 6, if you’re not sure what constitutes over-sharing, ask a trusted friend or your spouse. It’s a great way to practice vulnerability.

Need some help starting the conversation? Try this: “I have a question for you. We’re exploring what it means to be courageous disciples at church. One of the myths of vulnerability is that vulnerability is over-sharing, indiscriminate disclosure. What do over-sharing and indiscriminate disclosure mean to you? Can you give me an example?” Then be quiet and listen.

Want to Dig Deeper? – Join the practice of TGIF

  • Who or what are you trusting?
  • For whom or what are you grateful?
  • Who or what is inspiring you?
  • How are you practicing faith?

Pray

Good and gracious God, thank you for a mind to think, emotions to feel, and hands and feet to propel me to act. Guide me in all I say, do, and feel so others may witness your grace. In the name Jesus I pray, Amen.

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.

Myth 5: Trust Comes Before Vulnerability

Read

Matthew 18:15-20

“I can’t do that. I don’t trust him/her.”

“When I trust her, I’ll have that conversation.”

You’ve likely heard those statements or spoken them yourself.

I know I have.

Here’s the thing: vulnerability and trust are two sides of the same coin.

You won’t get to trust without vulnerability. AND, you won’t get to vulnerability without trust.

Vulnerability requires trust and trust requires vulnerability. They do not exist without one another. But when practiced, the end result is a deepening of trust and willingness to risk vulnerability.

Take, for example, a time when you needed to have a conversation with someone who hurt your feelings, acted inappropriately, or broke confidence. If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “I’m not talking to him/her, I don’t trust him/her.” Go ahead and read again today’s scripture passage.

What’s the first action noted in this passage? Go talk to the person.

And why don’t we go talk to the person? …because we don’t trust them. But, if you wait for trust to come like you wait for the seasons to change, it will never happen. Because to get to a place of trust will require you to practice vulnerability.

Here’s what you’ll need to consider.

Decide what degree of importance the interaction has for you. Do you respect the person who wronged you enough to speak with them? If it doesn’t have enough importance – emotionally, spiritually, or relationally – do nothing.

Then consider the two choices before you.

1) You can forget it and move on. No grudges, no gossiping, no conversation about it six months from now. No “I told you so.” when something happens in a year. It’s over. You chose not to act. That’s one option. Remember the choice you make and seek to live with it.

2) You can go to the person and talk about it. It may feel awkward. You may not feel like you have the trust. You may not even want to have a conversation. But, you do it anyway. Why? Because you’re seeking to follow Jesus and live with courage.

I won’t play out the whole passage, but I will pause to say, if it wasn’t resolved in the first conversation, the next step is to invite one other person to go with you. Notice involving additional people in the conversation comes second, not first. While you may need to seek the counsel of a trusted friend before your conversation, be careful not to let your counsel spiral to gossip.

Bottom line is this: trust does not come before vulnerability. I can guarantee that if you try to wait until you trust the person while refusing to practice vulnerability, you’re guaranteeing you will never get to a place of trust.

Reflect

Consider this statement: Trust and vulnerability are two sides of the same coin. What resistance are you feeling about embracing the truth of the statement? Notice it. Observe it. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

Let me pause again and remind you. These skills are meant to be practiced. You won’t always get it right. But when you mess it up, circle back to the person and try again. And during the whole process, be kind to yourself and others. The love of God we know in Jesus is what leads the way in building trust and practicing vulnerability.

Respond

Today, take the opportunity to reach out to someone you need to talk to. It doesn’t have to be an area of conflict or misunderstanding, simply someone that you’ve lost connection with. Call, text, or write to them asking when you might find a time to reconnect.

Pray

Lord Jesus, I want to trust. But, if I’m honest, I don’t always want to practice vulnerability. Help me to respond with integrity by aligning my desires with my actions. Amen.

Return

Use a notebook to record your responses. Share your celebrations in the comments below.

What did you do today to build trust and vulnerability?

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.

Myth 4:

You can engineer uncertainty and discomfort out of vulnerability.

Read

Matthew 8:23-27

Jesus, can we have a little chat? When you said to the original disciples, “Why are you afraid, you of little faith?”

That statement couldn’t have helped bolster their faith, could it? In a moment of crisis, you’re asking them why they’re afraid? Ouch.

You’re telling them they have little faith? Double ouch.

Think about that for a second. And let me offer another perspective.

What if Jesus was demonstrating courage? Could it be that his statement was needed to jolt the disciples out of an emotional, dramatic downward spiral? Or maybe, Jesus needed to get the attention of the disciples. I wonder too, what might have happened if Jesus never named the reality of the situation with clarity and direction. What if Jesus never called the disciples to be courageous?

Without courage, the message of Jesus cannot be shared. There are times it will feel uncomfortable and uncertain. But, it’s in that very moment you’re invited to remember that Jesus is Emmanuel, God with us.

After all, you wouldn’t be participating in a church if others hadn’t moved past the uncertainty of stepping out in faith.

I am certain there were moments when the original twelve disciples were uncomfortable in Jesus’ presence. He challenged them. He called forth the best in them. And he loved them. All of those things and many more can make us feel uncomfortable…dare I say, vulnerable.

If you’ve ever been on a boat in a storm, you know exactly what the disciples were feeling. You may have even said, “Lord save us.”

None of us like feeling that way. But we can’t engineer the uncertainty, risk, and discomfort out of practicing vulnerability. Why? Because it’s the very definition of vulnerability. And, you guessed it, rumbling with vulnerability is the foundational skill of practicing courage.

Don’t miss the end of this passage of scripture. By the end, while emotions swirled all over the place, the disciples had an encounter with Jesus that left them wondering out loud about his identity and power.

Could it be when we step out in courage we just might encounter Jesus in a new way? Maybe you’ll claim that same courage today.

Reflect

Consider a time in your life you tried to engineer the uncertainty out of a situation for yourself, a child, or another loved one. We have all done it. What would you do differently if you had an opportunity for a “do over”?

Respond

Today, consider your call to courage and notice if you’re trying to engineer the uncertainty or discomfort out of rumbling with vulnerability.

Pray

Lord Jesus, thank you for reminding me of your courage. Through your bold acts, I am reminded that living as a person of faith is sometimes challenging. Continue to empower me to step out in faith and share your love with others. Amen.

Return

Use a notebook to record your responses. Share your celebrations in the comments below.

What happened in your day that invited you to step out in courage and rumble with vulnerability – even though it was uncomfortable or uncertain? If there was nothing today, consider the past week.

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.

Myth 3: I Can Go It Alone

Read

Matthew 26:69-75

Oh, Peter.

We’ve all witnessed it, haven’t we?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

That dismissive phrase that says, “I wasn’t there. I wasn’t with him/her.”

Disassociating with others communicates “I can go it alone.”

But here’s the reality: no you can’t. You are wired for connection with others. We literally are created to be in relationship with other human beings. And when we’re not in relationships, we suffer. Our brains don’t release the chemicals we need to bond and we feel lonely. Isolation leads to suffering.

If you’re reading this an have an independent streak in your DNA, welcome to the club. So do I. You’re not alone.

Return to Peter’s denial. As he sought to disassociate with Jesus at a critical moment in his ministry, he was separating himself from connection with others. A little virtual coaching here: that’s not healthy.

If I could have coached or ministered to Peter in that moment, I might have said something like this, “Stand with the one you love. You can’t do this alone. None of us can. It will be challenging. But, love has a cost.”

In my less than gracious moments, I might have said, “Suck it up buttercup.” And then grace would have kicked in and reminded him, “Buddy, this is not about you. The Son of God is about to give his life for you and you’re worried about being seen with him in public? Really. C’mon, you can do this. You need Jesus and Jesus needs you. Stand up. Step into the arena. God is with you.”

When we seek to go it alone, we’re often playing the role of martyr, victim, or worse, being selfish. Consider the source of your desire to “go it alone.”

Reflect

When are you most likely to “go it alone?” When do you say, “I’ll do it on my own.” “I’ve got this.” “I’ll do it.” instead of, “I can help, what’s my part?” Or “I need your help with ___________ part.”

Respond

Return to your call to courage. When have you tried to go it alone?

Pray

Jesus, thank you for seeking to be in relationship with me. Thank you for loving me when I turn my back on you, even in small ways. Grant me the courage and grace I need today to step into relationship with you and the people I encounter. Amen.

Return

Use a notebook to record your responses. Share your celebrations in the comments below.

Did you “go it alone” or seek to be in relationship with Jesus and others today? What do you celebrate about what you did well? What do you want to change?

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.

Myth 2: I Don’t Do Vulnerability

Read

Matthew 9:9-13

Imagine for a moment the conversation around the dinner table as Jesus ate with the tax collectors. Because they’re nice, professional men, they likely wouldn’t give voice to their thoughts. But, I imagine if we could read the thought bubbles above the tax collectors’ heads, here’s how they’d read:

“Why is he here?”

“Who is he trying to make us into now?”

“I’m not participating.”

“I think I’ve lost my appetite.”

Remember, tax collectors were a bit shady in their business practices. They often worked the system to their financial advantage. It was an accepted practice, albeit a frustrating one for the residents who had to pay the taxes.

Jesus’ presence in their midst may have been the first encounter with unconditional love. It might have been a moment of truth or even an unexpected brush with the divine. Or, it might have been all three or something very different.

Reflecting on our myth for today, it doesn’t take much imagination to hear the tax collectors say to Jesus, “I don’t do vulnerability.”

Here’s the thing: To love is to be vulnerable. Jesus loves you. Are you willing to love him?

Reflect

What makes you say, “I don’t do vulnerability?” We all say it from time to time. It might sound more like, “Oh, I’m not going there.” “I don’t want to have that conversation.” Consider where or when you’re likely to say, “I don’t do vulnerability.”

Respond

Try this today: tell someone you love them. And mean it. Expect nothing in return. Notice how it makes you feel. Vulnerable. If that’s too big of a request, remind someone today, “God loves you and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

As a reminder, “vulnerability it the emotion we experience during times of uncertainty, risk or emotional exposure.” So, yes, the tax collectors were likely feeling exposed.

Pray

Lord Jesus, thank you for loving me and helping me to love the people around me. Amen.

Return

Use a notebook to record your responses. Share your celebrations in the comments below.

What was it like saying I love you? Or “God loves you” to someone? You did it! Welcome to the world of practicing rumbling with vulnerability. It’s difficult. It’s challenging and it may feel odd. You may still want to say, “I don’t do vulnerability.” But, if you want to be in relationship with others, vulnerability is essential. Why else would Jesus have invited a tax collectors to be a part of his closest relationship? More on that tomorrow!

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.

Myth 1

Read

Matthew 8:1-4

The man wanting to be healed in this passage is suffering from a skin disease. Individuals suffering from leprosy, were considered “unclean.”

In other words, a physical ailment meant he was not welcome in the community. A skin disease kept him from normal social, relational, and economic interactions. He was separated from other people. It’s likely he only associated with people who also had leprosy.

Now consider this definition: “Vulnerability is the emotion that we experience during times of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” Reread the scripture passage for today.

The man with leprosy placed himself in a vulnerable posture before Jesus. Some might say his actions were courageous.

Here is the challenge before us: the practice of rumbling with vulnerability is the foundational skill courage. So before you say, “I’m not going to be vulnerable.” Let’s explore the myths around vulnerability.

Myth 1: Vulnerability is weakness.

No, it is not. Here’s what I want you to consider. “Can you give me a single example of courage that you’ve witnessed or experienced in your own life that did not require experiencing vulnerability?” Dare to Lead, p. 23

The answer is no. Thousands of people have been asked that question and their answer is “No.” From military personnel to CEOs, from teachers to therapists, from parents to bakers and parents who are bankers, the answer is no. That’s because rumbling with vulnerability is the foundational skill of courage.     

If you want to be a courageous parent, partner, leader, co-worker, or follower of Jesus, you’ll need to learn to rumble with vulnerability.

Perhaps the best invitation I can offer is this: If you’re going to rumble with vulnerability, who better to practice with than Jesus?

To help us explore what vulnerability is, each day this week we’ll explore one myth around vulnerability. May the man afflicted with leprosy who dared to ask Jesus for what he needed remind you that vulnerability is not weakness.

Reflect

How do you characterize the man with leprosy’s actions? Consider your call to courage.  What part of your call to courage do you need to remember “vulnerability is not weakness”?

Respond

Today, ask one person for something you need. It might be a request for prayer, time to consider an important decision, or a lunch date to catch up. Remember: the foundational skill of courage is rumbling with vulnerability.

It is not weak to feel vulnerable. It is human. Be reminded that “Vulnerability is the emotion that we experience during times of uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.”

Pray

Lord Jesus, there’s no one I’d rather practice vulnerability with than you. Thank you for opening my heart to grow in my capacity to live and love with courage. Help me to rumble with vulnerability today. Amen.

Return

Use a notebook to record your responses. Share your celebrations in the comments below.

What did you ask for today? What were you feeling when you asked? What thoughts ran through your head before, during, and after the request? Did your behavior align with your thoughts and feelings? Why or why not? As you practice rumbling with vulnerability, lean into your faith in Jesus. Just like the leper, you are never alone.

Extra Thoughts

If you haven’t taken a moment to review the “Overview of It Takes Courage” please do so. You’ll find a few tips that will help you start this journey.