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Giving God Thanks for You

There is a clear connection between who you are as a leader and your expressions of gratitude. As you know, it is a critical part of your work to make sure others feel appreciated, acknowledged, and valued. So, how do you share your appreciation with those with whom you live, work, and play?

Giving God Thanks

Over the past 30 years, I have expressed my thanks to people who have been especially meaningful and impactful in my life. Before cell phones, I wrote short notes, sent cards, or made phone calls from a landline. I remember some of the first calls I made with a cell phone were expressions of “I’m giving God thanks for you today.” In recent years I have used email and text messages. I have even been known to write a poem or to send flowers. I am not suggesting that you do what I have done, but I am asking, “How do you share your appreciation with those who have had an impact upon your life?”

Gratitude from Philippians

In his letter to the Philippians, Paul expressed his gratitude, “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy” (Philippians 1:3-4).

Over the years, those words have become one of my favorite scriptures. I have learned, through practice, to pray for you when you come to mind. Even if it is just for a season, you have become a significant part of my life.

So, again during this Thanksgiving week, I am giving God thanks for the people who have helped make me who I am. I am not sure what brings certain people to mind, but I am certain it is God coming to me in and through the people I remember.

Giving Thanks

With that in mind, if you will give a few more minutes of your time, I want to share with you some of the people who have come to mind this week. It might be that some have come to mind because I am writing this blog. But I know others have come to mind because I am particularly grateful for who they are and how God has come to me in and through them.

One of the persons who has come to mind is Mary Handley, my fourth Sunday School teacher. She was the first person to tell me that I would go somewhere in the world and tell people about Jesus. Another person is Carole Duncan, my Sunday School teacher when I was 14 years old. She was the first person I told that I thought God was calling me to preach. She cared for me and nurtured me as if I were her own. And another person is Mel Cummings, my Sunday School teacher, who the day after the Marshall University football team was killed in the plane crash, gathered us close. He listened to our questions, he loved us through our grief, and he cried with us. “I thank my God every time I remember you…”

I have been thinking of several people who were members of churches I served over the years. People who have become special friends, who surrounded my family with love and care, and who shaped my life significantly. People like Don and Betty became parents to Kim and me as they became grandparents to our children. Tom and Barbara made our first move with children less painful and more joy-filled. And Paul and Richard who have become lifelong friends. In fact, I have talked with both this week. “I thank my God every time I remember you…”

I am not sure why, but I am thinking of Dr. Berkowitz, my religion professor at West Virginia Wesleyan College. He turned my world upside down as he taught me to think critically about the scripture. When I think of him, I immediately think of Gerald Harshbarger, a pastor who helped me make sense of what I was learning. The story of Jonah had a larger more significant meaning than a person being swallowed by a whale. Every time I prepare a sermon I think of Fred Craddock and every time I speak of God’s love I think of George Morris. Both were seminary professors at Candler School of Theology. Their influence and impact upon my life is immeasurable. “I thank my God every time I remember you…”

Oh, there are so many of you who come to mind. People like David Cornelius. I first met him in the parking lot of the church asking for a handout. All he wanted was for me to listen to him. Although I thought I knew more about what he needed, he taught me to pay attention to what he was saying. For him, it was a matter of dignity. When I think of David, I also think of John Locke. I first met John as the man who lived in the dumpster behind the church building. He enriched my life the morning that he stood in a worship service and sang “The Lord’s Prayer.” “I thank my God every time I remember you…”

Grateful for You

If you are still with me, I am grateful. God has come to me and deeply shaped my life through so many of you over 48 years of ministry. Along with all of you, I have met in and through the church, I am grateful for my Cabinet colleagues, my district office colleagues, and for each of you who continue to enrich my life in special and unnoticed ways. “I thank my God every time I remember you…”

Today, as I give thanks, I am remembering my wife, Kimberly, my children, and my grandchildren. I am remembering close and special friends. I am remembering the people who have walked along with me through the tough times as well as the good times. I am the person I am today because of their love and care in my life. “I thank my God every time I remember you.”

You know, there are so many of you who come to mind. Just know that I am giving God thanks for you today. I am grateful for you, your ministry, your friendship, and for all God has done to make me who I am in and through you.

Dietrick Bonhoeffer wrote, “In normal life, we hardly realize how much more we receive than we give, and life cannot be rich without such gratitude. It is so easy to overestimate the importance of our own achievements compared with what we owe to the help of others.”

Take Gratitude with You

Who are the people who fill your heart with love, happiness, and gratitude?

Here is what I want you to do. Take a moment to think of three or four people for whom you are grateful. People through whom you have experienced God’s love. Who brings you joy. Who has been influential? Write their names on a piece of paper. You now have a list of people who are special to you.

For the rest of your life, take these names with you wherever you go. Take them to family gatherings and to Sunday worship. Keep them with you on special occasions. And when you move, make sure when everything is packed, you have them with you. Finally, when you come to the end of your life, take your names with you. I know there will be people who will say, “You can’t take it with you,” but take your list of special people with you.

Now, when you get to the gate and Saint Peter is there to greet you, he will ask, “What do you have in your hand?” You will say, “It’s just a list of people who are special to me.” He will say, “Let me see it.” And you will say, “It is just the names of some people, that if it were not for them, I would not be here.” And he will say, “Let me see your names.”

You will give him your list and he will look at you and smile. Then he will say, “I know these people. I just saw them on my over here to greet you. They were making a sign. The sign read, “Welcome Home.”

“I thank my God every time I remember you…”

Who you are is how you lead. Have a blessed Thanksgiving!

Follow Jesus, leadership, Relate to One Another

Leading with Gratitude

If I could give one quality gift to you as a leader, I would give you the gift of gratitude. If I could have God do anything for you, I would ask that God make you a grateful person. Gratitude is the fundamental value of the Christian faith. It has the potential to change the world, as much as impact your relationships.

Over my 45+ years of ministry, I have never known a person who was grateful who was at the same time bitter, hurtful, mean, or vengeful. If you are a grateful person, you will lead with gratitude. Who you are is how you lead.

Recognizing Potential

Leading with gratitude means recognizing and developing the potential of the people entrusted to your care. It means you give people your time. You listen to them, discover their gifts, strengths, and passion. You encourage them and give them opportunities to become more who they are created to be.

Leading with gratitude means you become more generous with people. Because you have developed an attitude of generosity, you begin to believe that everyone wants to perform well and will grow more into who they can be with your care and encouragement. This kind of leadership nurtures humility, brings out the best in people, and creates an atmosphere of trust, compassion, stability, and hope.

To be a truly effective leader, you must know how to lead with gratitude.

Cultivate Gratitude

Gratitude is something you cultivate. It is a foundational building block to who you are as a person. It is so foundational that you might think it is too simplistic or basic to be included as a leadership trait. You might also think that expressing gratitude is obvious, but let me say again, gratitude is something you cultivate as you practice it. The more you practice it, the more you adapt to feeling and expressing it. Developing a practice of gratitude allows you to become the leader for this time and place.

Develop a Gratitude Practice

The question is “where do you start to develop a practice of gratitude?” Well, I am convinced where you start makes a difference. So, start with the grace of God. The words “grace” and “gratitude” have the same root in Greek. In other words, if there is no awareness of the grace of God, there is no gratitude. And there is no gratitude without an awareness of the grace of God.

Luke 17 and Gratitude

In the Gospel according to Luke, there is a story of grace that illustrates the foundation of gratitude. It is the story of ten Lepers healed of their leprosy. (Luke 17:11-19). Leprosy was a physical condition that had broad implications. It was an incurable disease that separated people from one another. It was a living death. Individuals afflicted with leprosy were required, by the prevailing religion, to stay outside the boundaries of the community.

They were physically, as well as socially, isolated from family, friends, temple, and all that gave meaning and purpose to their lives. Individuals with leprosy had no quality relationships outside of the leper community. Their only means of living was to beg for handouts. Not only were they isolated, but they also had the responsibility of announcing their condition to everyone who came close. In other words, because of their condition, they were marginalized, ostracized, and humiliated.

In the story, as Jesus walks by, it is not clear whether they were begging or if they had confidence in Jesus’ power to cleanse them. But as Jesus passed, they cried out, “Jesus, master, have mercy on us.” Although they did nothing to be afflicted with leprosy, they have no rights to which they can appeal. Healing is not owed to them.

Jesus gave them the direction to “Go show yourselves to the priest.” The priest was one who could announce that each of them was cleansed of leprosy. What is interesting here is Jesus gave each of them what was needed for healing and wholeness. His direction was an act of grace.

They followed his direction. Their action of going to show themselves to the priest was their response. On their way, they were healed of their leprosy. They did not first simply believe and then go to the priest. They followed the direction of Jesus. As they followed his direction, they discovered they had been restored to health. Each of them received the same direction, the same grace, and were given hope of a new life.

Each of the ten lepers did what Jesus told them to do. They all received grace. There was no requirement to return. Yet, in a completely spontaneous expression of gratitude, one returned giving thanks and praising God.

Reconnect What is Broken

In this story, leprosy is a symbol of our condition before God. We are broken people, disconnected from God, one another, and ourselves. As much as you want to and try to, you do not have the capacity within yourself to reconnect what is broken. Your hope is in your experience of God’s grace. You respond to your experience by living as you were created to live. It is your response to God’s grace that equips you to lead with gratitude.

Become aware of God’s Grace

So, how do you lead with gratitude? Become aware of God’s grace in your life.

Each day this week, make time to think about being grateful.

Inspiration

Take note of the people who inspired you.

What did you see that made you smile or take notice of their actions?

Keep in mind that no person or experience is insignificant. From the person who started a friendly conversation to the laughter of children, they are all part of what makes you who you are. The small joys are just as valuable as all the others.

Ease of Life

Think about what makes your life easier.

The water in the shower?
Car?
Umbrella?
Cellphone?
A warm coat?

The list goes on. What are you grateful for at this moment?

Past Relationships

Consider past relationships.

Upon whose shoulders are you standing?
What did the person do to make life better for you?
Why are you better off for having known that person?

Give thanks for the toughest relationship of the day.

You will come to experience sincere gratitude, even for difficult people, by looking for the good in your encounters with them.

You

Add to your gratitude list something you are grateful for about yourself.

Although this might feel uncomfortable, take note of what happens when you begin paying attention to what makes you feel good about yourself.

You might even ask yourself why this practice of gratitude makes you feel so uncomfortable. Self-awareness is a gift of grace.

Why not return to give thanks for who you are and for what God has provided to you as a leader?

Gratitude and Grace

Keep in mind that there is no gratitude without an awareness of grace. In the story, ten experienced God’s grace. Ten returned from the world in which they had been isolated. Ten had new lives.

When I was a senior in high school, songwriter and singer, Andre Crouch wrote and recorded a song titled “My Tribute.” The words were as follows:

How can I say thanks for the things You have done for me?

Things so undeserved yet You gave to prove Your love for me.

The voices of a million angels could not express my gratitude.

All that I am and ever hope to be, I owe it all to Thee.

To God be the glory. To God be the glory. To God be the glory.

For the things He has done.

So, how can you say thanks? Be the one who returns living your life in thanksgiving. Become the person you are created to be and lead with gratitude. Who you are is how you lead.

leadership, Relate to One Another

Effective Leadership Begins with Gratitude

Gratitude has the potential to impact the people around you as well as reshape the world. As a leader, it is essential that gratitude becomes an integral part of your life. It is such an important characteristic that your leadership depends upon it. Effective leadership starts with gratitude. Who you are is how you lead.

Cultivate Gratitude

Of all the leadership characteristics named, discussed, and implemented, gratitude is the easiest to forget and to dismiss. Too often it is seen as something extra and unnecessary. It is for that very reason, gratitude must be cultivated and practiced. You might think that you will automatically feel gratitude when you have reached a particular position, or accomplished a specific objective, or made the right decision that helps reach a difficult goal. The assumption is that gratitude is a mysterious force that shows up when you succeed or when you feel all’s right with the world.

The reality is gratitude does not appear at the moment things are unfolding perfectly. It is not magically bestowed on some and not on others based upon whether you are successful or not. It is not dependent on what is happening around you. Gratitude is something you cultivate. It is a foundational building block to who you are as a person. It is so foundational that you might think it is too simplistic or basic to be included as a leadership trait. You might also think that expressing gratitude is obvious, but let me say again, gratitude is something you cultivate as you practice it.

Gratitude Brings Perspective

When you have every excuse to focus on what is not going right, gratitude allows you to see things from a new perspective. The more you practice it, the more you adapt to feeling and expressing it. Developing a practice of gratitude allows you to become the leader for this time and place.

As a leader, gratitude impacts the people around you. So, to become more the leader needed for this time, develop a practice of gratitude. Here are four benefits to gratitude.

Four Benefits of Gratitude

Gratitude helps you appreciate where you are and what you are doing.

Think about a time when you felt like you were in an unfamiliar place. Whether geographically or relationally, you felt uncomfortable and unsure of yourself. Maybe you were in a new place surrounded by people you didn’t know. Maybe you were responsible for some unpopular decision. Or maybe you just wanted people to be happy with you and you could not control their perceptions or reactions. Whatever the situation, you just didn’t feel good about being there.

As you reflect upon that time, what are your thoughts and feelings? What makes you uncomfortable or unsure of yourself? What about that experience can help you be a more effective leader?

Now, take a moment to give God thanks for the experience. It might not be easy. You might not want to. But giving thanks will help you put the experience into perspective. It will help you focus more upon the leader you are created to be.

If you are spending your time wishing you were somewhere other than where you are, doing something other than what you are doing, you are creating anxiety for yourself and for the people around you that is unnecessary besides being unhealthy.

You don’t have to like where you are. You don’t have to like what you are doing. But if you are grateful for the places you find yourself and for the opportunities presented to you, you will be able to lead into and through the challenges you face. The truth is, even in the midst of the unfamiliar and unknown, you can always find things for which you are grateful.

O God, put me where you want and help me be content. If I can’t be content, make me faithful. Thank you for being with me wherever I am and with whatever I am doing. Amen

Gratitude helps you love your neighbor.

Think about the people in your life you like being around. What do they do that draws you to them? Do they help you feel good about yourself? Do they offer you affirmation and support?

Now think about a time that you, as a leader, gave someone praise and affirmation? How did it make you feel? How did the person respond to you?

Gratitude is infectious.

It celebrates the goodness of God found in the people you encounter. Gratitude helps to build and repair relationships. It draws people in, encourages them to engage, and models for them the practice of gratitude.

So, let’s go one step farther. Who are the people you try to avoid; the people that drain you of positive energy, who are combative, and disagreeable?

As you think about each person, what are you learning about yourself? What is it that makes you feel good about some people and causes you to avoid others? How does your relationship with each person help you be a more effective leader?

Now, take a moment to give God thanks for each person who has come to mind. It will not be easy. You might feel that you have tried to get some of these people out of your life altogether. But giving thanks will help you put those relationships into perspective. You might even begin to love others as God in Christ has loved you. It is that perspective that will help you become the leader you are created to be.

Whether it is a feel-good experience or an experience you want to avoid, expressing your gratitude helps make you become more aware of the gifts people offer in and through each encounter. The truth is each person contributes to your effectiveness as a leader.

O God, make me aware of the people around me today. As I give you thanks for each person I meet, make me a blessing to someone, somewhere today. Amen.

Gratitude improves your health.

Like the muscles in your body, you can develop an attitude of gratitude. Research has shown that practicing gratitude creates a less critical and more compassionate relationship with others and a less punishing and more affirming relationship with yourself. When you practice gratitude, you become more emotionally healthy and are less likely to experience depression and anxiety.

Dr. Robert A. Emmons, from the University of California in Davis, studied the impact of gratitude on physical health, psychological well-being, and relationships with others. What he found was that gratitude helps develop stronger immune systems, lower blood pressure, and improve sleep patterns.

He found that persons who practice gratitude are more alert and have a healthy self-awareness. They experience deeper joy, greater happiness, and are more hopeful than those who do not practice gratitude. He also found that gratitude helped people be more generous and compassionate and as well as more forgiving. The people who practiced gratitude were less lonely and isolated. The truth is gratitude is a healthy practice of an effective leader.

O God, I am grateful for the ways you are shaping my life in and through the people around me. Give me eyes to see how you come through each of them to help me become who you created me to be. Amen

Gratitude makes you less fearful and more courageous.

As a human being, you simply cannot listen to the voices of gratitude and fear at the same time. Your attention is either on one or the other.

The times I struggle with gratitude the most are when I do not see my place in the bigger picture. When I am in the muddy and murky waters of fear, disappointment, and scarcity, I usually don’t see the opportunities and possibilities around me. But one the other hand, when I focus on gratitude, I am more optimistic, cooperative, and energized.

Think about a particular challenge you are facing. Get the situation and/or the person clearly in your mind. Focus on the challenge.

Now, with the situation or person in mind, name five things about the situation or the person for which you are grateful. Place these five things in your heart and mind. Now, what has happened to your fear?

You simply cannot listen to the voices of gratitude and fear at the same time. Your attention will either be on one or the other. As a healthy human being and more specifically as an effective leader, it is your choice to make.

Most of the effective leaders I know, practice gratitude on a regular basis. When you consciously practice gratitude, in all situations and circumstances, you become a better leader, you model for the people around you, and you are a happier person.

O God, your perfect love casts out my fears. I give thanks for the situations and circumstances in which I am leading, and for the people through whom you reveal your love. Help me be so aware of your presence that all I say and do will bring you glory and work for the good of the people you have given me to love and serve. Amen.

Effective Leadership Starts with Gratitude

Who you are is how you lead. How can you become a more effective leader? Become a person of gratitude. It is time to take the next step.

Your Next Steps

Over the next 5 days, make time each day to think about being grateful.

Take note of the people who inspired you. What did you see that made you smile or to take notice of their actions?

Think about what makes your life easier? The alarm that reminds you to get up each morning? The water in the shower? Car? Umbrella? Cellphone? The list goes on. For what are you grateful at this moment?

Consider past relationships. Upon whose shoulders are you standing? What did the person do to make life better for you? Why are you better off for having known that person?

Give thanks for the toughest relationship of the day. On my best days, I have come to experience sincere gratitude, even for difficult people, by looking for the good in my encounter with them.

Add to your gratitude list something you are grateful for about yourself. This might feel uncomfortable. Most of the time you quickly focus upon things you do not like about yourself. When you practice gratitude, you can alter that negative cycle. What would happen if you, instead of focusing upon your flaws, would pay attention to what makes you most proud of yourself?

Remember, who you are is how you lead. Effective leadership starts with gratitude.

O God, I give you thanks for my friends and colleagues who, through their gratitude, are helping me become more who you created me to be. I am grateful. Amen.

Follow Jesus, leadership, Relate to One Another

Gratitude in Leadership

Have you ever had one of those days when you just felt “out of sorts”? Although nothing catastrophic happened, there were a few insignificant events that ruined the day? As a result, you weren’t in the best of moods. The bumps along the way felt worse than they really were, and by the end of the day, you were exhausted and frustrated.

I had one of those days recently. When I recognized what was going on, I decided I didn’t want to spend the rest of the day feeling crummy or as I say, “grousing around”. It wasn’t fair to my family, to the people around me, or to me. The last thing I wanted was to feel badly because I was a jerk. So, I took a few minutes for myself and focused on the things that had gone well and on the people with whom I had interacted. As I named each one, I gave God thanks for the opportunity to make a difference and for the people who enrich my life.

Gratitude Can Transform Us

I know it might sound strange, but I have learned that gratitude has the power to transform. It is one of the most effective ways to become not only a better leader but also a better person. Gratitude is such a powerful behavior, it can and will enhance your leadership. Almost always, people respond positively to an expression of gratitude.

What we know is this: A grateful leader is:

Respected

Gratitude takes people seriously. When you express your gratitude to someone for his/her work, you are showing them respect and appreciation. When people know you respect them, and take them seriously, you not only gain their respect, but you plant within them the desire to be grateful as well.

Trusted

Gratitude is an expression of authentic care and compassion. It cannot be faked. Think for a minute about a time you heard words like, “Thank you for visiting my mother,” or “Thank you for your sermon,” or “Thank you for your leadership with the committee.” How did you feel when you heard those words? Words of gratitude create a feeling of trust. Now, imagine how the people you lead feel when you express your gratitude to and for them. Expressing your appreciation and gratitude creates the trust followers need from their leader.

Appreciated

Gratitude is always received positively. Every person you know needs and wants encouragement and affirmation. So, when you say, “Thanks, that was awesome!” you are meeting a deep need. Grateful people are seldom angry people. When you express gratitude to and for someone, you not only gain their appreciation but create a positive culture of gratitude.

Exercising Gratitude

Again, I know it sounds strange, maybe even too good to be true. But being a grateful leader is not easy. It requires a change of heart and persistent attention. So, how do you exercise gratitude?

Gratitude has an object.

To be truly grateful, your gratitude is focused upon a person or an event. Biblical writers are clear about the object of this gratitude:

o “Oh, give thanks to the Lord” (Psalm 105:1)

o “Thanks be to God” (2 Corinthians 9:15)

You can’t express gratitude in a vacuum. Gratitude, by its very nature, has an objective.

Gratitude is genuine.

You can’t fake thankfulness. You may be able to pretend you are grateful for a while, but unless you are deeply and truly thankful, it’s not going to work. The good news is, by intentionally exercising gratitude on a daily basis, you can build up your gratitude muscle, and cultivate genuine gratitude.

Gratitude is expressed frequently.

Thanksgiving is more than one day a year. A family gathering, with turkey, once a year is okay. But what is needed is a daily reminder to be thankful or a daily pattern of gratitude. To build your gratitude muscle, you will have to express it not annually, not monthly, not even weekly. Gratitude is a daily effort. When you think about it, there are a lot of things for which to be grateful, but the one thing to remember is: Gratitude is expressed frequently.

Gratitude is specific.

Gratitude is not generic. As previously mentioned, gratitude has an objective, but it also has an immediate cause. Try these words of gratitude: “I’m really thankful for the way you handled that tense situation in the board meeting. You spoke softly, in a controlled way, but you also showed them why we need to move forward. Thanks for doing that.” Or “Thank you for that email last night. I know you stayed up to write it, and it was exactly the information needed for the meeting. Thank you for your hard work, and the detailed information.” You get the point. Be specific.

If I could give one quality gift to each of my family members and to all you, my friends and colleagues, it would be the gift of gratitude. If I could have God do anything for you, I would ask God to make you grateful. Gratitude is the central virtue of the Christian faith. Over my 45+ years of ministry, I have never known a person who was grateful who was at the same time bitter, hurtful, or vengeful.

Strengthen Your Gratitude Muscle

During the month of November and into the month of December, Sara Thomas and I are inviting you to strengthen your gratitude muscle by participating in two things:

Daily 8:46 Prayers

Every evening at 8:46, Sara will post a prayer of gratitude for the evening on the Transforming Mission Facebook page and Instagam account. These prayers are short sentence prayers designed to assist you in developing a pattern of gratitude.

Giving Thanks Podcast Mini-Series

Every Thursday, from November 5 – December 10, Sara and I will provide a podcast focused upon gratitude for the week. Each podcast is designed to give thanks for the way God has gifted you to lead through these days of uncertainty and chaos. This is one way we want to thank you for your leadership.

Thank You

Every list of the characteristics of leaders different. Gratitude doesn’t make many of those lists. I think it is time to change that. I challenge you to put a little gratitude into your leadership. I think you will be pleasantly surprised.

Sara Thomas and I are grateful for you and your leadership. In gratitude for you, we are making ourselves available to assist you in your work of leading, serving, and caring. When Sara or I can be of encouragement or help to you, contact us at connect@transformingmission.org. Sara and I are ready to assist you in becoming the leader you are created to be. Don’t hesitate to call as we seek to assist you in deepening your relationship with Christ, the church, and your community.

Engage Your Community, Follow Jesus, Relate to One Another

Staying Relationally Healthy with God & One Another

Over the past several months, you have learned new ways to stay healthy physically, spiritually, and emotionally. You have learned different ways to communicate with and stay connected to the people entrusted to your care. You have discovered innovative ways to be and do church. Each of these experiences has helped to shape you into the leader needed for this point and time in history. My question is, how have you kept yourself relationally healthy?

We know that relationships create the conditions that lead to trust, hope, and satisfaction. So, how are you doing in caring for and cultivating the relationships needed to navigate the uncertainty and confusion of a pandemic and of anti-racism?

A Person and a Story

G. K. Chesterton wrote, “The only two things that can satisfy the soul are a person and a story; and even a story must be about a person.” How are you keeping yourself focused and healthy regarding your relationship to Jesus, the people with whom you live, work, and associate, and the community in which you live?

Let’s focus upon two relationships that are necessary for leading today. These relationships are with God’s story and with God’s people.

Your Relationship with God

Let’s start with your relationship to God’s story.

1. Listen to God’s story.

Listening keeps your relationship alive. As you listen:

Put yourself in the story. Ask yourself, “What voices of truth do I hear in the story?”
Reestablish your relationship with stories that have grown too familiar.
Give God thanks and express your gratitude for others.

2. Learn God’s story

The Christian life is a story of relationships. It is your RELATIONSHIP(S)…

with others and a peace regarding those relationships that is the number one ingredient in a quality life.
to God and to the people God has entrusted to your care that has you in your leadership role at this time.
that help make you who you are. God is Love, and love is impossible outside of relationships. In relationship to God and to one another, you have no choice but to live with, listen to, and learn from the people around you.

3. Live the story

Christians live the story of Jesus.

God gives you a new heart and puts a new spirit within you. The word dwells within you. You become a living container for God’s word.
When you tell the story of Jesus forgiving his enemies, you become someone who forgives his or her enemies. When you tell the story of Jesus’s crossing the street to help an outcast, you cross the street to help the nearest outcast.
Remember your relationship with God’s story is hazardous to your status quo. God’s story has the power to change the world. Be grateful for the ways your life is transformed.

Your Relationship with God’s People

Another relationship necessary for leadership today is the relationship with God’s people.

Whether you like it or not, as a leader, you are in the people business. Loving and caring for people has become a way of life. It is never easy but greatly rewarding. It is in and through the people God has put into your life that God shapes you into the person and leader you were created to be. With that in mind, here is a little exercise to assist you in becoming a healthier and more effective leader:

Think of one person for whom you are grateful. A person who helps keep you healthy by reminding you of God’s love and acceptance. A person who encourages you.
Get a face in your mind and a name on your lips. Keep that person in mind as you read the following:

Was It Just Two Pieces of Paper?

Sister Helen P. Mrosla, an assistant professor in the School of Education at Seattle University in Washington, tells the story of Mark and his classmates in a ninth grade math class she taught in Minnesota. One Friday, things just didn’t feel right. The class had worked hard on a new concept all week, and she sensed that the students were frowning, frustrated with themselves, and edgy with one another.

Two Pieces of Paper

To stop the crankiness, she asked the students to put their books away and to take out two sheets of notebook paper. She then asked them to list the names of the other students in the room on their paper, leaving a space between each name. Then she asked them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and to write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment. As the students left the room, each one handed her their papers. One of the students, Charlie, smiled. Another student, Mark said, “Thank you for teaching me today, Teacher. Have a good weekend.”

On Saturday, she wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper and she listed what everyone had said about that individual. On Monday, at the beginning of the class, she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. She listened as the students said things like, “Really? I never knew that meant anything to anyone!” “I didn’t know others liked me so much.” After a few minutes, the class went back to studying math. There was no mention of those papers in class again.

A Common Experience from an Uncommon Moment

It was several years later that Sister Helen learned that Mark had been killed in Vietnam. She had gotten word that Mark’s family wanted her to attend his funeral. At the funeral she watched and listened. One of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her and asked, “Were you Mark’s math teacher?” She nodded “yes”. He said, “Mark talked a lot about you.”

After the funeral, most of Mark’s classmates headed to Chuck’s farmhouse for lunch. Sister Helen was invited to come by the house. When she arrived, Mark’s mother and father met her at her car. “We want to show you something,” Mark’s father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. “They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.” Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded, and refolded many times. Sister Helen knew what it was without looking at the paper.

A Folded Treasure

Mark’s mother said, “Thank you so much for doing that. As you can see, Mark treasured it.”

Mark’s classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, “I still have my list. I keep it in the top drawer of my desk at home.”

Chuck’s wife said, “Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.”

“I have mine too,” Marilyn said. “It’s in my diary.”

Then Vicki reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. “I always carry this with me. I take it out and look at it every time I need encouragement. I think we all saved our lists.”

Your Turn

Do you still have a person in mind? Sometime today, tomorrow or this week, practice addition. Add a word of gratitude to their lists.
Make a phone call. Send a Text. Write an Email. Write a note and let them know how much you appreciate them and care for them. It can be as simple as “Giving God thanks for you today. Know how much you are loved and appreciated.”

Relationships create the conditions that lead to trust, hope, and satisfaction. There are two relationships necessary for leading today: relationships with God’s story and with God’s people.

So, how are you doing in keeping your relationships healthy? Remember, Sara Thomas and I (Tim Bias) are available to assist you along your journey. Please do not be afraid or hesitate to ask for help. Let us know what questions you have or what you might need as you develop the relationships that help make you the leader needed for this time in history.

God became flesh and moved into the neighborhood. “Love one another as I have loved you.” You and I are a part of that story. May your relationships always reveal the blessing!

Courage, Follow Jesus, Relate to One Another

Caring for Yourself and Others

You have just experienced your third Sunday with worship outside the church building. You are starting the second week of the “stay at home” order. You are working from home and discovering new ways to be socially connected while being physically distant. So, how are you doing with this new normal?

Maybe a better question is: how are you caring for yourself during this disruption?

Here are four things to remember regarding self-care and the care of others.

1. Be Curious

When you are curious you ask questions and learn about people, situations and circumstances. Learn as much as you can about Covid-19 so that you can manage your own thoughts and feelings as you assist others in managing their thoughts and feelings. The more you know the better equipped you are to rely on the facts.
Learn as much as you can about the people who are researching the virus and who are leading us through the shrinking the curve. By listening and learning, you are more able to assist the people who are entrusted to your care.
Your curiosity leads to creativity. The more curious you are, the more you learn; the more you learn, the more you can find ways to care, connect, and communicate. Be curious, but don’t be consumed by the media.

2. Be Aware

Be Present. Become aware of your own thoughts, feelings, and surroundings as well as the thoughts and feelings of the people around you. When you are present to what is unfolding and happening, you are more able to pay attention to the reality of the moment.
Appreciate Current Reality. When you are able to see things clearly, you are more able to lead in these uncertain times. Your calm and peaceful leadership is anchored in your appreciation of reality.
Keep the End in Mind. As you lead in the reality of the moment, remember that there will be an end to this crisis. Keep moving forward with the assurance that you will make it through.
Be Grateful. As you become present to the reality of the situation with the assurance that you can and will make it through, you will become more aware and more connected to life, to the people around you, and all the new and different expressions of life emerging. Make time to give God thanks.

3. Develop A Routine

Routines create high achievers. Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not on act, but a habit.”
Routines help you achieve more, think clearly, and do work that matters. They keep you from stumbling through your day and make sure you get the most important things done.
If you have not done so, it is important that you develop a routine that works for you. You might consider the following:
- Getting up at the same time every day
- Participate in God is with Us
- Exercise
- Eat healthy food
- Remember and reflect on the day’s activities and achievements
- Give God thanks for the moments you experienced God’s presence
- Get plenty of rest/sleep

4. Have Realistic Expectations

The balance between realism and optimism, in times of uncertainty, is a key to survival.
In times of uncertainty, expectations centered on the future must be realistic. Check out the Stockdale Paradox for a greater understanding of the balance of realism and optimism.
Stockdale explained, “You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end, which you can never afford to lose, with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”

Your Next Step

You might think of it this way.

(Be Curious) What can you do to help with Covid-19? Regardless of all you might have to offer, you can pray. As a Jesus follower, pray is part of your life.
(Be Aware) Who are people you can pray for? There is no shortage of persons for whom you might pray. At this point in time, you can pray for the doctors and medical personal who are on the front lines, exposing themselves to the virus as they discover ways to keep the rest of us safe.
(Develop a Routine) When can I pray for them? You can pray for them every day as you pray for your family, friends, colleagues, and neighbors.
(Have Realistic Expectations) How should you pray for them? You can pray for their well-being as they offer themselves in service and compassion for their local hospitals, communities, and the world.

As you lead into and through this disruption, it is imperative that you know the facts, name current reality, keep moving forward, with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of current reality.

Know how grateful I am for you and your leadership. Take care of yourself so that you can be the leader God has created you to be.

Know also that you are not alone. We (Sara Thomas and Tim Bias) are available to help you care for yourself as you care for others.

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Follow Jesus, Gospel, Relate to One Another

Gratitude

Over the past several weeks I have been asking friends and colleagues, “For what are you grateful?”

One friend thought a moment and said, “I am grateful for the paperweight on my desk. I have had it for over 30 years. It is an ordinary rock that has red and yellow paint splattered on it. It is not worth much, but I wouldn’t sell it for any amount of money in the world. My son was 5 years old when he made it for me in a Sunday School class. It is a symbol of his love.

Another friend said, “I love the homemade greeting card I got from my daughter. On the front of the card, she drew a picture of the earth and wrote the words, “To the World’s Most Sweetest Mom.” Inside the card she wrote, “Happy Birthday,” then scratched through it and wrote, “Happy Mother’s Day.” She signed the card, “Love, Sarah (6 years old)” When she gave me the card, she pointed out her mistake inside and said, “Even though I made a mistake, you are the same Mom.”

Other friends and colleagues named things like family, friends, work, relationships. One person even said, “I’m grateful for my district superintendent.”

Well, how cool is that?

The Practice of Gratitude

As I have listened, I have learned three things about you:

You are people of gratitude.
You are most grateful for your relationships
Your gifts are valuable because of the giver of those gifts.

I think that is genuine gratitude. Focusing upon the giver of the gift rather than on the gift itself. To paraphrase Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, “You can gain the whole world and all the gifts in it, but without gratitude, you will miss the giver and lose your soul.” Celebrating the giver rather than the gift is the point. When you make that breakthrough, you will never be the same. That kind of gratitude will change your life.

So, let’s put our gratitude into action. I want you to think of someone for whom you are grateful. Someone who has brought love, joy, and gladness into your life. Someone who, because of their generosity, has changed your life. Get that person’s face in our mind and name on your lips.

Two Sides of Gratitude

Now, let me tell you about Bonnie Shepherd. She was having surgery two weeks before Christmas. She said it was a terrible time to be in the hospital, but her husband assured her that he could take care of things at home. But she wrote, “Christmas baking, shopping, and decorating would have to wait.”

She said, “I struggled to open my eyes after sleeping for almost two days following surgery. As I became more alert, I looked around to what seemed like a Christmas floral shop. Red poinsettias and other bouquets crowded the windowsill. A stack of cards waited to be opened. On the stand next to my bed stood a small tree decorated with ornaments my children had made. The shelf over the sink held a dozen red roses from my parents…and a yule log with candles from our neighbor. I was overwhelmed by all the love and attention.”

That day, she watched a heavy snowfall outside the hospital window. She began thinking about her four children. Her husband had told her that friends had brought meals and offered to care for the children. She began to imagine them bundled in their snowsuits building a backyard snowman and skating at the outdoor ice rink. Then, she thought of her son, Adam. He had a physical disability. At age 5 he had just started walking independently. She worried about him on the ice and snow with his thin ankles. She wondered if anyone would take him for a sled ride?

More Flowers

About that time, she heard the nurse’s voice, “More flowers!” The nurse handed her the card from the beautiful centerpiece and then made room for the bouquet among the poinsettias on the windowsill. She took more cards from her pocket and put them on the tray. Before leaving the room, she pulled back the pale green privacy curtain between the two beds.

While Bonnie was reading her get-well cards, she heard, “Yep, I like those flowers.” It was the woman in the bed beside her. She had pushed the curtain aside so she could see better. “Yep, I like those flowers,” she said again.

Bonnie said her roommate was a small 40-something woman with Down’s syndrome. She had short, curly, gray hair and brown eyes. Her hospital gown hung untied around her neck, and when she moved forward it exposed her bareback. Bonnie said she wanted to tie it for her but she was still connected to an IV. The woman stared at the flowers with childlike wonder.

Bonnie spoke to her. “I’m Bonnie. What’s your name?”

“Ginger,” she said, rolling her eyes toward the ceiling and pressing her lips together after she spoke. “Doc’s gonna fix my foot. I’m going to have suur-jeree tomorrow.”

Bonnie and Ginger talked until dinnertime. Ginger told her about the group home where she lived and how she wanted to get back for her Christmas party. She never mentioned a family. Every few minutes she reminded Bonnie of her surgery scheduled for the next morning saying, “Doc’s gonna fix my foot.”

Plans and Visitors

That evening, Bonnie had several visitors, including her son Adam. Ginger talked with everyone who entered the room, telling each of them about Bonnie’s pretty flowers. She kept an eye on Adam. Later that evening, when everyone had gone, Ginger repeated over and over how much she liked the flowers and then she said, “I like your Adam too.”

The next morning, while Ginger was in surgery, the nurse helped Bonnie take a walk down the hall. When she returned to her room, she noticed the contrast between the two sides of the room. Ginger’s bed was neatly made, waiting for her return. But she had no cards, no flowers, and no visitors. Bonnie said her side of the room bloomed with flowers, and the stack of get-well cards reminded her of just how much she was loved.

No one sent Ginger flowers or cards. Bonnie began to wonder if it was going to be that way for Adam one day. She quickly decided that she would give Ginger something. Some of her flowers.

Justified Guilt?

She walked to the window and picked up the red-candled centerpiece with holly sprigs. She thought, “This would look great on our Christmas dinner table.” So, she set the piece down. What about the poinsettias? Then she thought about how much the deep-red plants would brighten the entry of her turn-of-the-century home. And of course, she could not give away her Mom and Dad’s roses.

Bonnie said the justifications kept coming: the flowers are beginning to wilt; this friend would be offended; I really could use this when I get home. She said she could not part with anything. So, she climbed back into bed. She calmed her guilt with a decision to call the hospital gift shop when it opened in the morning. She would order Ginger some flowers of her own.

When Ginger returned from surgery, a candy-striper brought her a small green Christmas wreath with a red bow. She hung it on the bare white wall above Ginger’s bed. That evening, Bonnie had more visitors. Even though Ginger was recuperating from surgery, she greeted each visitor and proudly showed them her Christmas wreath.

Home In Time for Christmas

The next morning, after breakfast, the nurse returned to tell Ginger that she was going home. “The van is on its way to pick you up.” Bonnie felt happy for Ginger. She would be home in time for her Christmas party, but Bonnie felt guilty when she remembered that the hospital gift shop would not open for two more hours. She looked around the room at her flowers one more time.

The nurse brought the wheelchair to Ginger’s bedside. Ginger gathered up what few things she had and pulled her coat from the hanger in the closet. Bonnie said, “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, Ginger.” She said her words were sincere but she was feeling bad for not following through on her good intentions.

The Gift of Gratitude

The nurse helped Ginger with her coat and into the wheelchair. Then she removed the small wreath from the nail on the wall and handed it to Ginger. They turned toward the door to leave when Ginger said, “Wait.” Ginger stood up from her wheelchair and hobbled slowly over to Bonnie’s bed. She reached out her hand and gently laid the small wreath in Bonnie’s lap. “Merry Christmas. You are a nice lady.” Then Ginger hugged Bonnie.

Bonnie whispered, “Thank you.” She said she could not say anything more as she watched Ginger hobble back to the chair and out the door. She looked at the small wreath in her hands and thought, “Ginger’s only gift. And she gave it to me.” As she looked toward Ginger’s bed, she saw, again, her side of the room was bare and empty. But as she heard the elevator doors closing, Bonnie said, “I experienced gratitude as I had never experienced it before. I don’t think I will ever be the same.”

Your Next Step

Now, let’s go back to the person I asked you to remember.

Get that person’s face in your mind and name on your lips
Give God thanks. You are who you are today because of that person’s presence and influence.
How will you express your gratitude? make a phone call? send a text? bake cookies? What one thing will you do to express your gratitude?
Now, do it!

By God’s grace, you express your gratitude by loving as you have been loved. When gratitude overtakes you, you forget to be afraid. You become able to trust and you have time for the greater things in life. Once you experience and express your gratitude, you will never be the same.

Courage, Follow Jesus, Gospel, Missional, Relate to One Another, Uncategorized

Leadership Checkup

Last week, I received a call from my doctor’s office. The voice on the line said, “Mr. Bias, it is time to schedule your next checkup. May we schedule your appointment today?” I wanted to say, “No,” but I knew that my regular checkup helped to keep me physically healthy.

Over the years, I have learned the same is true about effective leadership. I have not always called them checkups, but I have regularly stopped to evaluate or to take an account of my life and actions. For me, regular checkups are necessary for effective leadership.

At the beginning of the year, Sara Thomas introduced us to a weekly checkup called TGIF: Trust, Gratitude, Inspiration, and Faith. She wrote, “…if all leadership begins with self-leadership, there are things that need to improve.” She continued, “I know the impact reflection has on transformation. If you want growth, stop and reflect.”

She proposed taking time each week to reflect upon four TGIF questions to assist in growing in faith and in developing as courageous leaders:

What am I TRUSTING?
For whom or what am I GRATEFUL?
Who or What is INSPIRING me?
How am I practicing FAITH?

So today, I am sharing with you my most recent checkup in regard to becoming a more compassionate leader.

I Want to TGIF! Send me the Worksheets.

Trust

What am I Trusting?

I am trusting my listening skills. Over the past several weeks, I have listened closely to the needs, aspirations, and mission of our local churches. At the same time, I have listened closely to the strengths, skills, and needs of our clergy.

I am trusting what is emerging. In the midst of listening, what emerges is not exactly what I have in mind. I am trusting the new things God is doing.

I am also trusting the shift in my prayer habits. I continue to make the shift from having a prayer life to living a life of prayer.

Gratitude

For whom or what am I grateful?

I am grateful for trusted friends. I am grateful for those so close they not only love me just the way I am, but they give of themselves so I can become who God created me to be. I am grateful for the embodiment of unconditional and unselfish love in their lives. I am grateful that the love I experience in and through them encourages me to be more like Jesus.

Because I am surrounded by friends who embody such love, I am becoming a more compassionate leader.

Inspiration

What is inspiring me?

Most recently, the Galatians: Following Jesus Every Day reading plan. It is this habit of reading, reflecting, and responding that helps keep me focused and growing.

This past week, to hear the names of the persons participating in the study lifted in prayer was an awe-inspiring experience.

Faith

How am I practicing faith?

By God’s grace, I am working on being clear about what I think and how I act. I know that might sound strange, but I am trusting that God wants me to live in the real world. There are times that I find it easy to “interact” with God in seclusion, where I can escape from responsibility. I find it more difficult to follow God into the office, the community, or into relationships I cannot control.

I am practicing faith by stepping away from a fear of failure. It is my fear of failure that keeps me from taking risks and keeps me in my comfort zone. I am also practicing my faith by not talking about success, but by stepping into the arena to participate in the possibility of success.

It’s time for A Check-up

It is nothing spectacular. But being a healthy leader allows me the opportunity to see the people around me as God sees them, to understand more who I am becoming in God’s work, and to catch a glimpse of God in and through trust and obedience.

So, how are doing with Trust, Gratitude, Inspiration, and Faith?

Church leader, it is time for your next checkup. Are you willing to participate in it today?

I Want to TGIF! Send me the Worksheets.

Follow Jesus, Relate to One Another

Thanks

If I could give one quality gift to each of my family members and to all my friends, it would be the gift of gratitude. If I could have God do anything for you, I would ask that God make you grateful. Gratitude is the central virtue of the Christian faith. Over my 40+ years of ministry, I have never known a person who was grateful who was at the same time bitter, hurtful, mean, or vengeful.

One Returned in Gratitidue

In the story of the ten Lepers found in Luke 17:11-19, all ten are healed but only one, an outsider, returned in gratitude. Lepers, because of their condition, were required to stay outside the boundaries of the community. They were socially, religiously, and physically isolated from family, friends, church, and all that was important to them. They had no quality relationships outside of the leper community. Not only were they isolated, they had the responsibility of announcing their condition to everyone who came close. Then into their lives walked Jesus. They cried out, “Jesus, master, have mercy on us.”

Jesus gave them the direction, to “Go show yourselves to the priest.” What I think is interesting here is Jesus gave each of them what was needed for healing and wholeness. His direction was an act of grace. It was on their way to see the priest that all of them were healed. All 10 were healed and given new lives. All ten received the same treatment, the same grace. But only one returned in gratitude.

I believe, without any stretching of the truth, that leprosy in the scripture is a symbol of our fallen human condition before God. We are sinners, disconnected from God, one another, and our communities. In our condition, we do not have the capacity within ourselves to reconnect with God and to one another. Our hope is that Jesus, the embodiment of God’s grace, comes into our lives. Just as with the lepers, our relationships are restored, God’s peace takes root deep within us, and we live new lives. New lives in Christ.

Are We Grateful?

In the story, ten lepers are healed but one returned in gratitude and praise.

I confess that I have always thought of the church as the community of the grateful. We gather in response to God’s grace to offer ourselves in gratitude for what God has done, not only for us, but for all people. We connect with people in our communities in response to God connecting with us in Jesus. Recently, I have wondered what it is like in the churches in the Capitol Area South District. All of us have been offered new life by God’s grace. My question is, “Are we grateful?”

There is a story told about Rudyard Kipling. He was being interviewed by a reporter who said, “Mr. Kipling, I just read that somebody calculated that the money you make for your words amounts to over $100 a word. The reporter reached into his pocket, pulled out a $100 bill, gave it to Kipling and said, “Here is a $100. Now give me one of our $100 words.” Kipling looked at the money. Put it in his pocket. Looked at the reporter and said, “Thanks!”

There were ten healed. Ten who returned to the world from which they had been isolated. Ten who had been invited by grace to a new life. But only 1 who returned as an expression of gratitude.

The words “grace” and “gratitude” have the same root in the Greek. In other words, if there is no awareness of grace, there is no gratitude. There is no gratitude without an awareness of grace. In the story, all received grace but only one returned with gratitude and praise.

I was just wondering…are you the one? Are you the one?